This isn’t really a blog…

I don’t blog.  If you want to say hey, that’s cool.

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1,403 Responses to “This isn’t really a blog…”

  1. Mr WordPress Says:

    Hi, this is a comment.
    To delete a comment, just log in, and view the posts’ comments, there you will have the option to edit or delete them.

  2. Wickedpinto Says:

    GREAT BLOG! you have here Kevlar!

    Insightful, and you are covering all of the important political issues of the day!

  3. Lipstick Says:

    hee hee.

    Hiya!

  4. harrison Says:

    Well, hellooo!

  5. Dave in Texas Says:

    boo!

  6. Mr. WordPress Says Says:

    You need to get busy wid dis thang.

  7. kevlarchick Says:

    Holy shit! Y’all found me. Why you hatin on me WP? I posted some stuff last April for godsake. Once I figure out how to run this thing, I’m deleting your comment.

  8. Retired Geezer Says:

    It’s pretty cool I guess.
    Needs more Horse Pictures though.

  9. pupster Says:

    Good things come to those who post.

    Inspiration. (SFW)

  10. Michael Says:

    FYI, after we started IB, WordPress implemented a change so you can register without actually setting up a website. Too late for you — you are stuck with your very own blog.

  11. kevlarchick Says:

    You are a cruel master pupster. Thank you, may I have another?

  12. Wickedpinto Says:

    TITS FOR HITS! (create a drumbeat rythm)

    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!

    Or abject appologizy for the right to contine commenting on this hot new blog.

    but?. . . .any chance that we can get?

    TITS FOR HITS!

    I’m just curious.

  13. Mr Minority Says:

    Wow! the insightful posting gives me the shivers.

  14. wiserbud Says:

    Sorry I’ve been keeping you too busy to update this place, Kev, honey.

  15. wiserbud Says:

    kevlarchick is powered by WordPress.com!

  16. Feisty Says:

    I’d hit this blog. Don’t have to listen to someone drone on and on forever about sports or whatever. Just shut up and give it up, blog.

  17. Madfish Wilie Says:

    Hi Chickie-Baby!!

    I’ve been missing you!

  18. Tushar D Says:

    Great Site, Nice work!
    Buy Viagra here.

  19. wtf Says:

    Man, almost eleven o’clock already! All my clocks musta stopped.

  20. Mr Minority Says:

    Hey, I thought this was the Chode Island C of C, there’s nothing here?!?!

  21. wtf Says:

    Just the Tern Pooter Plantations over there.

  22. skinbad Says:

    Wish for a New Blog

    My lizard,
    My lively writher.
    May your limbs never whither,
    Something like that . . . etc., etc.

  23. John Says:

    But you gotta put something “in” it for it to be a blog ….

  24. harrison Says:

    But will this place be the new ” BlogWisconsin”?

  25. Jack M. Says:

    Y’all be nice to Kevlarchick. You mess with her and you mess with me.

    Unless there is a football game on, in which case I’d probably be distracted and wouldnt notice anyway.

    But all those other times?

    Yeah, I’d defend her.

  26. BrewFan Says:

    Jack M. a knight in somewhat shining armor!

  27. Ruth Says:

    This is the KISS method of blogging–I’m all for it! (keep it simple stupid, not KISS the band)

  28. kevlarchick Says:

    Where in hell are you all coming from? Madfish? Darling Jack? Miz Ruth?

    If I post something, will you come back?

  29. quiggs Says:

    You know what you need? Pictures of cats. I hear that’s the key to successful blogging.

  30. quiggs Says:

    Also, you should write the names of a lot of other bloggers, in hopes that they in turn will write your name on their blogs. I hear that’s important, for some reason.

  31. Wickedpinto Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

    I need to link you in more comments!

  32. Lipstick Says:

    WP linked you in a comment at Ace’s.

    Sneaky.

  33. Wickedpinto Says:

    I Gots Me some Gravitas!

    HAHAHAHA

  34. compos mentis Says:

    Hello World!

    There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who can read binary, and those who cannot.

  35. GrumpyUnk Says:

    The Official GrumpyUnk review of Kevlarchick’s blog – “This Blog contains every substantial idea expressed by the Democratic Leadership in the last 10 years. You Gotta See It!”

  36. GrumpyUnk Says:

    Almost forgot. “The search function is Awesome!”

  37. Wickedpinto Says:

    I think EVERYONE! should promote Kevlars blog in every Blog, or chat, or game that they take part in.

    I think That Kevlar deserves 1 million hit’s without ever making a single post.

    That just suites my kinda sense of WRONG humor.

  38. quiggs Says:

    WP – That’s a fantastic idea! I’m setting this as my home page so it gets a hit every time I start my browser.

  39. kevlarchick Says:

    Wicked Pinto, you are a darling. But, I really don’t want to be *hit* one million times.

  40. cranky-d Says:

    Your last entry was very good. You are a great blogger. Please visit my site.

    This pathetic bleg brought to you by a link from WP at AOSHQ.

  41. Wickedpinto Says:

    Kevlar?

    What do you think of the examples of nurture opposing nature that were depicted in the newest Discover Magazine teaser?

    I’m not sure myself, but I think that all of your readers (who better start building towards a million pretty damn soon if I have anything to do with it) would like your take on that situation.

  42. kevlarchick Says:

    Wickedpinto? You are seducing me into posting. DAMN you, man.

  43. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m a smooth talker babe,

    Just check all my suave comments on the various blogs.

  44. Wickedpinto Says:

    BTW, I think you know that that last was a joke.

  45. kevlarchick Says:

    WP, do you have a blog? Email me and I’ll get you on this one. Imagine the hits, dude.

  46. Dave in Texas Says:

    you should blog KC.

    I’m just sayin.

    *rowr*

  47. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC?

    why are you trying to force into becoming a blogger?

    Thats just not right, let me make my own decisions :)

  48. Wickedpinto Says:

    Come along love.

    an occasional STUPID snipe, will get you over a million in a year, if I have anything to say about it.

    I don’t know why, I never did, people tend to like me, or rather, like to know the things that I act like I know.

  49. kevlarchick Says:

    I have no idea what you just said, but you’ve definitely got me thinking about a SNIPE. Which I will withhold, else you might stop commenting on this blog.

  50. Wickedpinto Says:

    I can take my hits.

    HAlf the reason I make such silly statements that make me a target.

    Sometimes it’s best that someone like I come in and take the hit, so that everyone else can get along.

  51. cranky Says:

    I heard you were running for Blog of the Year or something. Where is the line for voting?

    Wiserbud said he’d give me a bottle and a carton of cigarettes if I voted for you. So I did. And I’m thirsty. And I need a cigarette. So, like hand it over.

  52. adolfo_velasquez Says:

    I’ve gotta stop hanging out on the internets so much.

  53. USCitizen Says:

    Awesome site!

    The lack of posts definitely cuts down on the distracting materials so many others have chosen to include.

    I support the one post concept and wonder if WordPress can handle a million comments on a single post. Hmmm. Let’s try!

  54. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m with you USCitizen.

    Spread the word. I’ve tried, but I failed.

    But 1 million comments would be a good compensation for my 1 million hits experiment.

  55. Wickedpinto Says:

    Yeah Cranky, I think I that KC’s blog is in the multiply by zero category.

    The category consists of a few million entrants.

  56. USCitizen Says:

    Well, here’s my follow up comment:

    “In keeping with lack of posts, this comment contains no more information.”

    KC has my vote for the 2006 Webby Awards –
    Category: None.

    The blog has that clean and unfettered look.
    Thanks KC for keeping it tidy!

  57. USCitizen Says:

    Oh, and where’s the site-meter?

    I bet you have more visitors than my humble spot already!
    Dang.

  58. kevlarchick Says:

    You fellers rock. I won’t change a thing unless you tell me to. Cranky I have plenty of cigarettes, always. We don’t need Wiser as a middleman.

    The Sitemeter? Not sure how to mess with that, but I can check into it.

  59. wiserbud Says:

    you know that you have pretty much run out of places to go on the innertubes when you feel the need to check up the comments at Kevlarchick’s blog.

    Hey, everybody! Free booze and cigarettes in return for comments at KC’s blog! On me!!!!

  60. wiserbud Says:

    now that I think about it, I should probably make that offer somewhere other than here. May have a little more impact.

  61. Wickedpinto Says:

    Brittany has a “see through” pic at WWTDD, also at X-17 or whatever.

    She looks like hell, but her talents seem to be even more refined then ever after shooting two hillbillys out of her poot.

  62. Wickedpinto Says:

    Brittany’s tits don’t increase comments?

    thats EFF’d UP!!

  63. mesablue Says:

    Awesome blog — it’s so deep. Just like it’s author. ;-)

  64. tres Says:

    Just think theres enough people over at aces that read most or enough of what WP writes to actually find this place … who’da thunk it :P

  65. Retired Geezer Says:

    KC will be posting a photo of King Kevlar in the Dung Beetle hat.

    Any Day Now.

    Actually just put it on your dog.

    Or a handy statue
    Or Ronald McDonald.

  66. cranky Says:

    Damn. I just deleted my well reasoned and logically thought out comment by scrolling or something or taking too long. I don’t know. So how’s the hits thing going?

    Prettig Kerstmis and Gelukkig Nieuw Jaar! That’s Dutch for, well you get the idea.

    If it wasn’t for Wickedpinto going on and on about Brittany’s boobs and pooter it would be pretty clean. :P Instead, let’s talk about Miss Nevada USA and her red stars!

  67. USCitizen Says:

    Merry Christmas, KC!

    From Traction Control!

  68. USCitizen Says:

    What’s up with the time stamp – 2:31 pm?
    I must have posted that from England by mistake.

  69. lizardbrain Says:

    Merry Christmas!

    (Wandered over from AoS.)

  70. eman Says:

    I thought this was the Chess Team Thumb-Wrestling Site. Sorry, my mistake.
    Nice color though.

  71. TxMarko Says:

    Another hit brought to you by WickedPinto from AOSHQ!

    So… where do I line up for the free cigs and liquor?

  72. Long tailed Hunchback Says:

    So this is where all the cool kids are hanging out.

  73. Lipstick Says:

    Merry Christmas Kevie!

  74. cranky Says:

    Wicked, I don’t think Brittany’s kids are hillbillies since she’s from Louisiana. I’m thinking they are more likely crawdads.

  75. Patton Says:

    Ditto txmarko: “Another hit brought to you by WickedPinto from AOSHQ!”

    Merry Christmas.

  76. USCitizen Says:

    The combined Ace of Spades and AoS Blogger pool results are up!

    Permalinky with results through Sunday 12/24/2006.

    Merry Christmas, KC!

  77. USCitizen Says:

    Bummer.

    KC failed the XHTML Validator with 1 style error.

    Oops.

  78. USCitizen Says:

    Here’s one more –

    KevlarChick,

    You can go to SiteMeter.com and register your Blog name. You’ll be provided with a teensy bit of code.

    It will look like this:

    Login to WordPress, select Presentation, Theme Editor, then Sidebar.

    Past the code into the sidebar php before the line that reads:

    Press the Update file button and you’ll have a SiteMeter!

  79. USCitizen Says:

    Oops, script got stripped. I was afraid that might happen.

    Here’s another try. It will look like this:

    – Site Meter XHTML Strict 1.0 –
    script type=”text/javascript” src=”http://s23.sitemeter.com/js/counter.js?site=s23USCitizen” /script
    – Copyright (c)2006 Site Meter –

  80. USCitizen Says:

    That goes before the line that reads:

    /div !– end id:sidebar –

  81. USCitizen Says:

    BTW,

    I like the micoscopic smiley at the bottom of the page. It’s unobtrusive and does not distract from the commentary in the least.

    Especially on the main page.

  82. Wickedpinto Says:

    US Citizen,

    Since I am the clearly defined Kevlar Community’s spokesperson.

    THANKS! for that information, I think that the good chick of Kevlar SHOULD (wink wink) reasearch that, a few more comments would serve better measure in the short term.

    I’m not talking about spam, I mean HONEST comments. 17 more.

    Let us all live up to or moronification!

    New Years is still days away.

  83. Drew Says:

    Nice place you have here. It’s not crowded or anything like over at Ace’s. You can spread out and chill.

  84. harrison Says:

    Just FYI, this blog is the #1 hit on Google for “kevlarchick.”
    How do you do it?

  85. USCitizen Says:

    KC -

    I just want to say hey, if that’s cool.

  86. USCitizen Says:

    Subliminal message to Ace and Michael at Innocent Bystanders:

    Get your TailgatePool picks in now:

    Latest Standings – updated after the games are at Traction Control

  87. USCitizen Says:

    Saddam has been Executed

    12/29/2006 10:02 EST

    from Traction Control

  88. lauraw Says:

    hey, that’s cool

  89. USCitizen Says:

    The TailgatePools football pool standings are updated here
    As of Saturday 12/30

  90. wickedpinto Says:

    9 more

  91. USCitizen Says:

    Make that 8 more to go!

  92. USCitizen Says:

    It’s looking like Mob Rule! at the Ace of Spades footbal pool.

    Latest results at Traction Control.

    (Plus brand new Gun Pr0n.)

    Happy New Years everybody!

  93. USCitizen Says:

    Football (dang)

  94. wiserbud Says:

    As we begin this new era of Democrat control of the world, I would just like to say that I, for one, welcome the calming nature of this site.

  95. Retired Geezer Says:

    How about those Broncos from BSU?

  96. Wickedpinto Says:

    How about that “romomentum?”

    Pussy.

    I couldn’t pass a yard, but I could CATCH A FLOGGING BALL!!!!

  97. kevlarchick Says:

    Not clicking WP. Nothing doing.

    Thanks for commenting, everyone. This is fun. Although I must say I don’t understand a word of the football comments.

  98. Lipstick Says:

    100?

  99. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’ve realized in the last few weeks. I’m kinda bored with comments, cuz it’s obvious that our government isn’t learning from history, and is just engaging in lazy partisan bullshit.

    And then I realized, that Wiserbud had his shit together when he said. “you know that you have pretty much run out of places to go on the innertubes when you feel the need to check up the comments at Kevlarchick’s blog.”

    Flogging brilliant. Also, I must add this.

    Michaels “comments” site, still has “posts” and links to posts. This is the only true 100% active comments site on the net.

    I think KC should sue Michael, or get a full page “comment” on his page about it, sticky at the top.

  100. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC? I love your speach, and I’m sorry if I can’t join you and king kevlar as we skate and “jump over the hilly brush” and I’m sorry I don’t have a 4.0 from yardale (really noone capitalized on the joke?)

  101. kevlarchick Says:

    WP, is “jump over the hilly brush” some sort of milspeak? It damn well better be.

  102. wiserbud Says:

    And then I realized, that Wiserbud had his shit together

    {blush} well, you would be about the first person to notice.

  103. Wickedpinto Says:

    KICK THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  104. wiserbud Says:

    Ooops, sorry WP. I just invited a whole bunch of people over into what seems to be an intervention of some kind. I didn’t realize you were using the room right now.

    Ummm, are you gonna be long?

  105. Wickedpinto Says:

    I figured I’d be a goon for a second.

    Nah, “jump the hilly brush” is from SPBLAU. as is the 4.0 from yardale, thing.

    I was just effing around.

  106. kevlarchick Says:

    WP are you trying to start a career as a rapper? It’s intervention time.

    Don’t quit your day job.

    And what is SPBLAU? Don’t tell me a long story, just translate each letter one at a time and say nothing else.

  107. daveintexas Says:

    WP, would you kindly send me an email?

    We need to talk.

    Thanks

    gooberintexas.gmail.com

  108. Wickedpinto Says:

    South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut.

  109. Wickedpinto Says:

    How is it 6 odd AM?!!!!

    I’t only 1:30!!! here!!!

  110. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC?

    Sometimes I’m a complete retard, but if you dig through all of it, (because I’m that retarded) you will see that I’m actually complimenting everyone ELSE involved while painting me as a buffoon, which I am.

    Also, if I make a random reference, I’m doing it either to be a complete dork, or to be whitty, and if my “whitty” doesn’t express itself on it’s own, I’m still being a complete dork.

    If there was any offense in my three stupid hyper “I hope you are happy” (thought “happy” is meant in a distinctly WP way) I appologize.

    It’s a method of my retardation. I praise people by being so blatantly offensive in a way that is simultaneously praising in a way that I have NO RIGHT to comment on.

    I don’t know if you ever read the story about my brothers best friend saying “dude? I love you, and you are my best friend, but I can’t wait for you to die so I can Eff your wife” joke.

    Thats my basic sense of humor.

    SHIT! I just offended a bunch of people by explaining my own goonery.

    once again, sorry.

  111. Dave in Texas Says:

    wp, email me.

    please.

  112. Wickedpinto Says:

    Dave, I did 3 TIMES!!!!

    Check your spam.

  113. Wickedpinto Says:

    My first name is douglas, if you see Douglas, as a prefix or Wickedpinto, then it is me.

  114. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m Wickedpinto@yahoo.com, dave, if I can’t reach you AGAIN! I’ve tried SEVERAL times.

  115. Wickedpinto Says:

    I don’t know if any of you have seen “The Idolmaker” one of my favorite movies, but this isn’t a BAD recreation though the audio sucks ass.

  116. Wickedpinto Says:

    DAMNIT!!!!

    WHY does noone rip this music!!!???

    well you get ONE link to a VID, a bad one.

  117. Wickedpinto Says:

    Okay, I will admit it.

    The holidays BREAK me more than I’ve ever broken any bitch? know what I mean? I spend my holidays with my brother, and with my friends, I love them so much, so the retarded and “whitty” wickedpinto just becomes crazy. My brother shows his love for me, my friends show their love for me as well, they send me pictures of their children (ADORABLE LITTLE SHIT BASKETS!!!) and ultimately I can only offer them love, because I have nothing else.

    I’m not well off, I’m not educated like my friends, I am not a parent like other friends, I Have nothing to offer any of them, all I have is envy , respect and love.

    So Sometimes/always, I go VERY CRAZY after the holidays, I’m sorry for any offense, because I see my brother and his friends working towards MUCH greater things like Family.

    I know I’m a noone, but I can take this pride, I LOVE my friends who are much more. graduates and parents, in one case a graduate, and in fact doctorate who has 4 kids, with a 5th on the way.

    Good people deserve to experience simple things, and I’m the random noone who says that he envy’s them. because I do.

    Okay? Sometimes I’m a DICK but most of the time it is to incite others to GREATER action. I might have the noggin, but really? What is it worth if it isn’t used? I don’t care to use it. I’d MUCH prefere to be an uncle, or a distant cousin. Those kids are America.

    I Love them so much I can barely type.

  118. Wickedpinto Says:

    I hope my brother doesn’t read this.

    2 days ago, I THINK that my big brother is starting his and his wife medication so that she can Suffer, SUFFER the efforts of being the vessel for my brothers child.

    It wasn’t my brothers idea, it was HERS!though she can’t carry THERE child, since she is likely sterile, she WANTS to carry my brothers, because she loves him that much. Lesser women have cranked out CRACKbaby’s.

    My sister, a cancer surviver who might not be able to procreate is BEGGING for the oportunity to be the mother of my brothers chilld.

    I cry whenever I think about that. She is an awesome woman, My brother would live his life without chidren, but his wife is so loving and CARING AND MOTHERLY! that my brother no longer has a choice (really men who are here? can you imagine that argument?)

    MY brother is a very good man, and his wife is a GREAT FUCKING WOMAN!

    I hope, in the next 7-10 months they have a child, because I REALLY want to be an uncle, since I will likely never be a father.

    I Want to be a crazy unc running around their bit back yard screaming “I’m an UNCLE I”M AN UCLE I’M AN UNCLE” and then I want to play catch with that child (we tend to create boys my family does) while my brother teaches him how to play hockey (we are athletic cats) If it’s a girl, I will shit myself.

    aside from that.

    My brother, and his wife DESERVE!!!!!!! a child. THey are good people, they aren’t WP’s they are REAL people, and LOVE THEM SO EFFING MUCH.

  119. Wickedpinto Says:

    Oh, bro won’t read it, it’s on This COMMENT blogl

  120. not ace Says:

    My top commenter recommends this place. I can see why.

    Good work. Nice site. ;P

  121. Dave in Texas Says:

    I hope they have a child too WP

    Got your email, thanks

  122. cranky Says:

    Best wishes WP for your brother and sister-in-law. I’m in the same boat. I’m an uncle but really unlikely to ever be a father. It’s nice to spoil the kids and to visit and get them all wound up … then leave and go home for the parents to deal with the craziness.

  123. Wickedpinto Says:

    Anybody see my slippers, cuz I don’t know if you are experiencing the same thing, but the tile is COLD!

  124. Jack M. Says:

    Heya, KC…Thanks for the e-mail. You are a fine and classy lady, and I appreciated your kind words. :)

  125. Wickedpinto Says:

    AWESOME!!!

    After the fact, I am thankful I was deleted KC.

    You are a good woman, and I made a stupid joke, that was very much offensive.

    I glad it was removed.

  126. Wickedpinto Says:

    and I found my slippers.

  127. Wickedpinto Says:

    Saturday, my brothers wife might be pregnant. If not then then a few weeks later, if not then a few weeks later.

    My brother and his wife are TRYING to get pregnant, but losers throw their children away into trashcans or into gangs, but my brother a GREAT man, and his wife, a WONDERFUL woman, must fight for a simple aspect of EXISTENCE, not just humanity.

    I’m an atheist but I am gonna stop at a church and pray for them.

  128. Wickedpinto Says:

    Yesterday? my brother jerked off, so his wife could become pregnant.

    Kinda funny, my ma’s called me, and said basicaly “your brother just jerked off for his and his wifes pregnancy” to which I replied something life “don’t ever say that to me again”

  129. lauraw Says:

    Hey KC, what’s up.

  130. kevlarchick Says:

    So guys only jerk off when they want to make a baby?

    WP, no prayer is ever wasted.

    lauraw, how’s your hair today?

  131. Wickedpinto Says:

    It’s just an unusual conversation.

  132. lauraw Says:

    Had a short string of unsatisfactory hair days (it’s getting too long), but today has been pretty good. I blowdried it a little drier than I usually do and it stayed neater but still a little wavy.

    Thanks for asking, even though you probably regret it now.

    I have to go downstairs and beat the redheaded dog soon. She’s just miserable until she’s had a good sound thrashing.

  133. Wickedpinto Says:

    I have to go downstairs and beat the redheaded dog soon.

    Even if it isn’t innuendo? I’m SO gonna use it at feisty’s place.

  134. Wickedpinto Says:

    Noplace suitable for it right now, so I will comment Off Topic :)

    I was watching listening (timings a pain) Imus this morning, and he was bashing the fat kid for getting married, making fun of everyone for “Acting” like they wanna go to the wedding and such.

    Imus said something about how “I’m SURE he (chris I think is the guys name) thinks it’s going to be the most important day of his life, just like all of the other little girls but it’s going to be a disaster, just like Most Marriages in this country.”

    Now, I understand the half assed statistitionary that Imus was employing. (the 50% of all marriages end in divorce, is a false statistic, it doesn’t take into account the fact that people with MULTIPLE marriages and MULTIPLE divorces counterweigh the truly successful nature of marriage in this nation, in basic, more than 50% of individuals who marry, have successful lifelong marriages, because successful marriages are one offs, it’s just the repetative failures who get more than one shot at the pie) but to Crap on a guy 2 weeks, 2 FRIGGEN WEEKS!!!!! before his marriage, is BS.

    I Will likely never marry, I’m that kinda guy, it would take a lightning bolt a shark attack, and the opportunity to spit in Jimmy carters face before I’m willing to wed. However, On the day, and in the preperation of getting married is an important process to those who chose to wed.

    Not out of ego, but out of self recognition. Deciding that you are “going to spend the rest of your life and raise a family” with a person is a BIG FRIGGEN DECISION!! so you can bet your ass that most people know what they are getting into, and they are trying to understand all of the things that that brings. I LOVE WEDDINGS! not cuz I’m a crying little girl (which I am, in the right circumstances) but because I have absolute and complete respect for people who look to the future, and see responsibility that would cripple your average socialite and decide that They want to live THAT future or ANY future with that person?

    Thats a truly noble thing.

    My brother got married, I made one mistake, I blame the booze and my sexy body at the reception, but even that became a somewhat common joke (thats what suits me) about the wedding, but I met my sissy for the first time about 8 days before the wedding (actually it was almost exactly 8 days) and there were a lot of “complications” someone on the “outside” would say, but they weren’t complications, they were VALIDATIONS for my brother, and for his wife. They loved eachother and they couldn’t see a future without eachother. Thats one more reason why I love my brother, and that is why I love my Sissy.

    Marriage is a risk, YES Mr. Imus, you know, you’ve been through 2, and working on your third. Marriage can absolute destroy you, YES, thats why I freely admit my cowardice, but in addition to being a big risk, it also holds the potential, and everyone hopes Probability of a brilliant payoff that makes MORE of the person you were.

    I’m an atheist, but if there is a God, may that god bless anyone who weds, and may god bless those who do wed in love with children so that the world can learn from that.

    Now, that emotive WP is done, I gotta go break some bitches.

  135. kevlarchick Says:

    WP, I hope someday a *special* woman appears in your life and reduces you to a sappy mass of love and longing–someone you won’t want to live without. It’s wonderful and it happens all the time.

  136. Wickedpinto Says:

    You saying I can only marry a retard?

  137. Wickedpinto Says:

    Tits for hits?

  138. Wickedpinto Says:

    A KC exclusive.

    ONCE I was promiscuous, but no more, it’s a waste of time, the IBB, thing is a schick based on who I used to be.

    Now? I still BB but the volume is specific, benign and rare.

    They are not posessions, they are friends, they are individuals I trust (soon to be friends)

    I’m not as horrible as I say.

    This doesn’t leave KC’s blog right?

    If it does, then KC gets the hat tip right?

  139. Wickedpinto Says:

    Ever Analyze how much a creature of habit you are?

    “I was a Marine” introduce random conflict, however, one of the things that is taught to you from the day you enlist is “are you right handed or left handed?”. . . .If you say “left” you are told, “Now, you are right, you will fire from the right hand.”

    Anyways, whenever I can’t find comfort in my particular environment, I always sit, left under right “indian” style.

    I have spent the last 13 or more years PEALING the dry and almost lifeless flesh from the outside portion of my left foot.

    Cuz I almost CANNOT sit, with crossed legs without my left foot being the lower foot, and losing it’s circulation in the exterior portions of it’s . . . .mass.

  140. cranky Says:

    Damn Wicked. I guess your secret of actually being a nice guy is safe here. I hope your brother and your sister-in-law have a healthy baby and that kid is gonna have the coolest uncle.

  141. Wickedpinto Says:

    Just got into an argument with bro. He’s a big and somewhat abusive brother. “you know (my first name) you have NOTHING to do with this, and as for you being an uncle is completely dependant on if we trust you.” or some shit like that.

    Love you too bro, remind me to snag the lifeline out of your reach if you ever need it just so I can return the favor.

  142. Wickedpinto Says:

    last was sarcasm.

    Brothers are brothers, it’s not our job to be nice, it’s our job to love eachother.

    I don’t hold it against him, he just reacted.

  143. Wickedpinto Says:

    imagine my crazy at it’s worst.

    Multiply it by jackM’s arrogance.

    thats how bad my week is gonna be, probably worse.

    My first aunt died.

  144. kevlarchick Says:

    I have an aunt that I love like a mother. An amazing woman.

    WP, please behave yourself at the funeral and family events. You can be crazy here.

  145. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC?

    I get that kinda stuff a lot.

    I assure you, everyone always looks at me(in my family) as though I’m about to explode, but I never do, because they are thinking of stories that _I_ told them.

    I know the proper place for the proper thing. Outside of family, it takes effort to find out what is considered proper, but in family, and the military is clear.

    I LITERALY broke up with a girl who was talented, educated and GORGEOUS! because she questioned if any of my loopiness would pop in at that Ball.

    Who could assume such a thing? they are more cynical than I am.

    The only part that I can’t deliver on is tears. She has been ill for a while, and seemed to be recovering, thats why I’m well prepared for this. Thats how it almost always happens. The first, or “shocking” passing is the one that occurs in the middle of recovery.

    Also, my mother has 5 sisters, (all in meno(a)pause) so I know what is coming, which is not a blessing, it would be better if I could summon up some tears for my aunt (I did love her greatly) but I know that if the men fall apart, the women will become wrigling crying worms for the next couple generations.

    Death sucks, my problem is I didn’t allow to be close enough to her in life, that is my failing, but for me to cry and mourne like an ululating lunatic would be complete hypocracy and selfish.

    I’m gonna stand strong and tearless, supporting those people who can do such things without hypocracy. THEY! need people to stand seperate enough to give definition.

    Unfortunately thats how I react to these situations. I never lost anyone close to me. Even my pets died quietly and out of reach, this is my closest yet, and whats worse, is she was the familial linchpin. I have to observe, and learn.

    Now THAT is kinda crazy.

  146. kevlarchick Says:

    Well, all I have to go on is your insane stories, but I absolutely know you have a sweet and gentle side to you.

    Crying is not hypocrisy. You can cry for the pain others are suffering, share their pain. Or cry because someone you love is gone. No one will think the worse of you for that. But I agree it is disconcerting to see a man break down when you’ve never seen him so vulnerable before.

  147. Wickedpinto Says:

    You get my crazy in small bits, you get my kindness in novels.

    Sometimes quantity, validates the qaulity.

    As for me crying ( I “tear up,” and sometimes cry, often) I believe that tears are not weakness, I have no problem doing such things, however, crying in this way (for a man) will damage the women, because the women are always crying, and if a man goes all jellyfish in the same way (don’t get me wrong, I mourne that woman a great deal, she is the only person who wasn’t my mother or brother who called me while I lived in other states or countries, and she just called to wish me a happy birthday!) but When I am surrounded by an environment of tears, and love, I will provoke tears, not by being a jerk, but by giving my mothers sisters a cause to cry, so that they can get it out, and start to see what is left.

    My aunt is gone, I get misty knowing that she was able to show how much she loved me much better than anyone was able to show how much they loved her, and now she is gone, before I could tell her, but in the situation? I will be the “strong man” (which I’m not, I’m more than 1/2 a coward) all I can offer at most times, is that I don’t judge, or define.

    I love all my aunts and all my uncles, and all my cousins (wanna know another bit of irony? the two close cousins who died in adulthood? Marines. They knew, they accepted, but the situations were different (not in war) but they passed, and they loved all those around them, and I could stand strong after their passing, because THAT was who they were before. I just include that as an odd thing, not as a definition of myself)

    I’m crazy, you are right KC. I’m the first to admit it, however my crazy is not cruel, it is also not afflictive, or depictive, it is personal. My crazy exists almost exclusively in myself, and the Net, your kind and understanding aspect allows me to express myself fully through mutual annonymity.

    My Family? They might raise an eyebrow, (cuz I’m known to be a bit crazy) but I will NEVER act in such a way at such a time, thats what I mean.

    Thanks for actually caring in a small way KC.

  148. kevlarchick Says:

    You have an online shoulder to lean on, WP.

  149. Wickedpinto Says:

    She is in the earth from which she was born.

    Other than my one completely cynical, selfish, and also, outright hilarious cousin (while simultaneously a prick) I have to admit, I had to fight the urge to laugh throughout most of the eulogy, not because I was laughing at my aunt. The dry, artificially maintained carcass that was in the casket was not my aunt. My aunt was the woman that her children spoke inarticulately and impoeticly about, but was described by the soul that they dedicated to their amateur efforts of describing her. My aunt was the (correction, there was ONE person who spoke PERFECTLY! her eldest granddaughter, I will get to that in a moment) My Aunt was the woman that took me to my first white sox game, to my first cubs game, who was the driver when I went on my first fishing trip, the one who had the first VCR, the one who introduced me to “cheese popcorn” (I don’t know why, I STILL LOVE that junk food) The first who taugh me (through whatever method) how to be responsible (here (wickedpinto) I need a coke, and some oreo’s, and if I came back with less change than I was owed, she would make sure that _I_ went back in (only happened once) and argued the case)

    My aunt wasn’t all smiles, she didn’t fart rainbows, she didn’t piss heavy water, or shit gold, she wasn’t perfect. But she was my aunt, and I remember those times when she was either stern and taught me a lesson, or those times, when it SEEMED! like she farted rainbows, (I don’t know about the pissing heavy water, or shitting gold, thats kinda sick, what kinda perv do you think I am?)

    Also? I remember when she was the only person who didn’t just call me on my birthday but EVERYONE of her family, her siblings (8(9total)) her siblings children (I think 29) and her siblings childrens children (I think we are at about 30 now) Grand total AT LEAST 67 people she went out of her way to contact (and lets not forget the few who were her siblings childrens childrens children) I don’t think she had a day planner, I HONESTLY think that she remembered everyone of those days, cuz to my aunt, who stopped living on tuesday remembered everyone of those dates without assistance.

    Another thing about my aunt. She was the socialite, highschool cheerleader, organizing every major event of the family for all her siblings and shit like that.

    she wasn’t the eldest, in fact she was the middle child, but to comfort my mother and my uncle, I said (they know I’m an atheist) “if there is a heaven, I wouldn’t be surprised if she planned this, so that when the rest of us join her, she can have a “tissue paper flower” float waiting, with a gigantic celebration, cuz noone could do a better job.”

    (NOW! I can tear up and cry, cuz everyone else has faced it, and NOW I feel exactly how I feel.)

    Just saying, lost track, but I think I said something. Exactly what, I have no clue, but I think I said it.

  150. Wickedpinto Says:

    If it were just my aunt I wouldn’t be like this, but I found out a number of months ago that another aunt (on the other side of the family) is prolly gonna die (I didn’t like her much, but she’s still my aunt and made few good kids, and gave up the FIRST of my blood in my memory, in one of her sons) and later she lost another son, and myself another cousin. That broad, though personaly I don’t like her much, though I can understand why she was cold to myself and others cuz she lost one, and later two (not to mention she also found out when I was like 8 or so that her only daughter was a lesbian, and I think she might have been envious of that lesbian cuz that aunt, really went out of her way to shit on the various men (at least those who were my father and his twin, or those associated with my father and his twin) but still, she’s my aunt, and I learned much from her.

    Not as much as from the one who is already passed.

    So Anyways, I had one aunt pass on tuesday, another aunt is standing in the aisle waiting. Another second cousin (I call my second cousins (my cousins children) li’llil’l cousins, even though I’m younger than almost all my cuz’s, and only taller than my mothers family and my fathers female nieces (my pop’s’s family tends to make VERY TALL men, the only person shorter than I (6’2″) is my brother, by less than an inch at full posture)

    back to point, I just lost an aunt, and I will likely lose another aunt since her cancer metasticized, but before I lose that second aunt, I’m gonna lose a second cousin that I only met while he was still in his mothers woman, 12 years ago. an 11 year old boy will be dying, almost guarantee’d by the end of the month.

    While I’m relatively indifferent to my fathers side of the family, this particular cousin is a GOOD FRIGGEN GUY, and while I never knew his boy, NOONE! deserves to suffer that, and just thinking about it scares the living shit out of me.

    And then, my second most eldest uncle, who has been tickling at life endangering illness for about 20 years, is now diagnosed with a broad cancer.

    Now, for that uncle to die is not surprising, he’s into his 70′s and has my sense of self maintenence (as in none) but you know? after 8 heart surgeries (granted all of them scopic) but you would figure somewhere along the line the blood tests would have turned up a random floating (same thing as metasticis) cancer cell would have appeared?

    THE GUYS BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL FOR ABOUT 4 out of the last 7 years? and you miss FUCKING CANCER!?!?!?

    My point? I’m worried.

    The “it comes in three’s” thing, but actually I think that isn’t right.

    I think that the barrier has been broken, and now everyone is racing for it. My Mothers eldest brother is on the verge of death not expected to make the week. I didn’t like him much either, but he wasn’t a bad person and he was my uncle, but who knows that his passing wouldn’t make ANOTHER family member give up? Like reasonably healthy spouses who die within days weeks or months of eachother?

    I hope my moms family doesn’t cascade, though, I can see at least 4 reasonable options, and I see that, and thats bad enough.

  151. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m done with this train of thought until there is evidence of a domino effect.

    Sorry for the yappiness.

  152. Wickedpinto Says:

    Dominoe falling.

    My second most eldest uncle is about to die. 6-8 weeks at top survival.

    Gonna be a lunatic once again in the next several weeks.

  153. Wickedpinto Says:

    as my family falls my friends deliver.

    HORRIBLE remorse, injected with pleasent understanding.

    As my aunts and uncles pass, my friends procreate.

    Lifes a bitch.

  154. cranky Says:

    Hey Wicked. I’m sorry to hear of this happening in your family. You and I are on opposite sides of the fence when it comes to a belief in God but I hope you won’t mind if I will have said a prayer for you and your family.

  155. Wickedpinto Says:

    Of course cranky. I know what I think, but I might be wrong, and even if that didn’t factor into it in any way, you are expressing yourself in the most honest and heartfelt way. That deserves nothing but respect and appreciation.

    Thank you. He’s definately gonna be gone soon, but at least he will be in the company of his children and some of his sisters when it happens. Also he will be planted in his home.

  156. kevlarchick Says:

    Death doesn’t really upset me. Been to many many funerals and wakes in my life. My tears are for those who live. I grieve with them.

    Many times I’ve been relieved when someone died. Their suffering was over, or they lived a long full life.

  157. wiserbud Says:

    As my aunts and uncles pass, my friends procreate.

    Circle of life, my on-line friend. My sympathies to you for your loss.

  158. Wickedpinto Says:

    Beclowned.

    I just didn’t want to leave you out.

  159. Wickedpinto Says:

    My uncle did die, last sunday.

    once again, I didn’t like him, but I love my family, and he wasn’t a bad guy, in fact, he was remarkably smart, the sadness _I_ suffer is that I might waste myself and become an eternal loser like he was.

    Well, not loser, he was a good teacher, though people didn’t know it.

    I hope no more dominoes fall.

  160. geoff Says:

    Stand tall, WP – this is when the rest of the family needs you.

  161. Stephanie Says:

    WP…Let’s get it on…..you’ll feel better. You know you will…..

  162. kevlarchick Says:

    Stephanie dear, I don’t think you know what you’re saying…

  163. Dave in Texas Says:

    Sorry for your loss.

  164. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC?

    DFWTF!

  165. Wickedpinto Says:

    My cousin’s boy just passed away, he was only twelve.

    Once again not a surprise, but now THAT! just sucks. Losing your child at age 12, any age for that matter, but at friggen 12?

    Brain tumor for the last year.

  166. Wickedpinto Says:

    I prolly got an aunt following in the next couple months.

    I knew all of these dead people, and the people who will be dead soon, but even my cold and rational (I know, “you rational wicked?”) ass can’t help but fall into a morose mood. When most of your filial connections are built on the extinction of the few family members you likedish, you kinda lose track of what you are supposed to do.

  167. kevlarchick Says:

    Too bad Wicks. Especially sad about the 12 year old boy. What a tragedy. There are plenty of folks who like you. I do.

    What does DFWTF mean?

  168. Wickedpinto Says:

    Don’t F with the fantasy.

  169. wiserbud Says:

    My sympathies, WP. Big time. I’ve got a 12-year-old daughter and my world would be destroyed without her. I can’t imagine a deeper loss or greater pain for a parent than to lose a child in this way.

    Sounds like some rough times for you right now. Do your best to keep it together and remember, we’re here for ya, if you need us.

  170. kevlarchick Says:

    Wiser I have one of those in my house too. A treasure.

  171. Wickedpinto Says:

    Thinks aren’t bad for me, it’s bad for them. I got it easy, one mom, one dad, one brother, one sister. and all of mines are healthy, it’s the aunts uncles cousins and stuff that are going through a hard time. Still, it’s a lot all at once, thats for sure.

  172. Wickedpinto Says:

    Um. . . .

    Well, first.

    earlier saturday was the memmoriam, whatever it’s called when we stare at my uncles urn before his final disposition is decided in the presense of family.

    We had the sermon (rather bizarre) and the luncheon where family got to socialize (and once again, as always it was my brother and I with the crowd, cuz we are the funny and entertaining ones, witnout being disrespectful(believe it or not, it takes a LOT of discipline to indure being the center of attention, even in humor, especially during a funerial luncheon))

    And it wasn’t exactly easy, but. . . .

    can we get some good cheer going on in KC’s Comments section?

    She ain’t gonna be hitting a thousand if everyone is just saying “poor wicked cuz the old people in your family die” (though the 12 year olds a real bitch)

    Can someone who isn’t dealing with this crap PLEASE! update with something humorous or entertaining?

    I ain’t kidding, I want 1K comments by years end, and a million in the next 2 or 3.

  173. wiserbud Says:

    A nurse walks into a bank. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a
    rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. She
    looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat says,

    ‘Well, that’s great……….that’s really great………. Some
    asshole’s got my pen.’

  174. wiserbud Says:

    An Amish man and his new bride are driving their new horse and carriage. A car drives by and spooks the horse.

    The Amish man finally calms the horse, and yells “that’s number one!”

    Down the road a piece a dog barks and the horse takes off again. The man stops the horse and yells, “that’s number two!”

    ‘Round the next corner a hunter’s gun goes off. The horse bolts again. After the man stops the horse, he yells “that’s number three!”, and reaches behind for his gun and shoots the horse in the head, dead.

    The young wife recoils in horror and screams, “How could you do such a thing, you must be mad!”

    The Amish man says, ” that’s number one”

  175. kevlarchick Says:

    Oh lord. It’s either death topics or wiser’s jokes.

  176. wiserbud Says:

    you want sex stories?

    I mean, things like this don’t usually happen to me, but one night, I was in my dorm room at college and there came a knock on the door…………

  177. Wickedpinto Says:

    Wheres compose with a good VD, or soiling themselves story?

  178. Wickedpinto Says:

    compos.

  179. kevlarchick Says:

    one time, at band camp..

  180. Wickedpinto Says:

    *fantasising*

    PLEASE SAY YOU PLAYED THE FLUTE, PLEASE SAY YOU PLAYED THE FLUTE, PLEASE SAY YOU PLAYED THE FLUTE!!!

  181. Wickedpinto Says:

    The Lute would be acceptable, though disturbing, so PLEASE SAY YOU PLAYED THE FLUTE!!!

  182. kevlarchick Says:

    I worked the BRASS, you sick freak. Flutes/lutes can be very…cold.

  183. wiserbud Says:

    I worked the BRASS, you sick freak.

    In high school, I dated a girl who play the tuba. She had some amazing lips, let me tell you.

  184. Wickedpinto Says:

    Lutes can also be rather large, and ungainly.

    Wiser, PLEASE do not elaborate on the tuba, thats, thats.

    you know?

  185. Wickedpinto Says:

    Piccolo?

  186. kevlarchick Says:

    Tuba = lung capacity. Right wiser?

  187. wiserbud Says:

    exactly.

    So, I guess it’s down to just the three of us that hang out here now? I gotta say, it’s like what you’ve done with the place. No stress, real laid back, no pressure to always be “funny” or “on,” no Rosetta……

    Nothing says “Exclusive!” like keeping the riff-raff out.

  188. kevlarchick Says:

    Just tell Wicks to stop linking me and we’re safe. Rosetta ain’t so bad. Admit it, you dig him/her.

  189. wiserbud Says:

    IF WP stops linking you, you won’t make that “1000 posts by 1/1/08!”

    Honestly, don’t you think it’s important for everyone to have a goal?

  190. kevlarchick Says:

    I don’t set goals. Can’t you tell by the nature of this blog? I just cruuuuuise through each day and see what it brings.

    Tell me about your scuba diving. Isn’t that a pic of you in a wet suit at Ace’s? I’ve always wanted to try that. Snorkeling is about all I’ve done.

  191. wiserbud Says:

    Not your goals, Pinto’s goals. Do you want to deny him the feeling of satisfaction he may get if he actually succeeds in getting this one thread to 1000 posts?

    I’ve been scuba diving for about 10 years or so. (yeah, that’s really me in that picture.) I absolutely love it. I’ve only got about 40 dives under my belt, but those are nearly all on the Caribbean, so I think they count for more. It is probably the most calming, totally relaxing experience I know.

    I remember when I first started diving, being down about 80 feet on a Christmas morning in Mexico and I just stopped, realized where I was and what I was doing and, in that one moment, I was in a state of absolute peace. It was unreal. I had never felt that before.

    I’ve done wreck dives, night dives, night wreck dives, cenote dives (which are like caves), and just plain open water dives. I’ve enjoyed them all, although the cenote was a little unnerving. I like the dives where there is no pressure to really do anything (like wrecks and cenotes) and prefer the tranquil reef dives, where it’s all just so beautiful. Especially if you get a nice current flowing, you just get neutral and float past it all. You can stay down almost forever on those dives.

    You should really give it a try. It seems scary at first, because they hit you with all of the stuff that can go wrong, but as long as you don’t push the tables or act like an idiot, you are perfectly safe. And while I’ve tried to describe the feeling, there is nothing like actually taking a dive of your own.

    Trust me, you will love it.

  192. wiserbud Says:

    And while I’ve tried to describe the feeling, there is nothing like actually taking a dive of your own.

    Of course, it is the complete opposite of jumping out of a plane. That was an amazing rush!

  193. Wickedpinto Says:

    When I was in Oki, I thought about getting a qual. A friend of mine was a divemaster, and offered to let me use one of his spare sets, to go down on a little familiarization dive, not deep, just go under, look around and get a feel for the gear, so that I can be more prepared for the qual.

    I’m like HELL YEAH!

    We go out and he helps me out, gives me the once over and then down we go (there is so much fodder already for a bunch of gay jokes in this) And it’s STUNNING! It’s almost like you see more under water than in open air (in clear water anyways) and the stuff that is under the surface is amazing.

    We surface, and I decide I don’t wanna dive. The confusing sense of claustrophobia from pressure, and agoraphobia that comes with seeing on for ever, scared the shit out of me.

  194. Wickedpinto Says:

    A Man’s gotta have goals. and THIS IS ALL I HAVE!

    DON’T JUDGE ME!

  195. kevlarchick Says:

    Well, I have nether scuba’d or jumped out of a plane. Don’t think I want to jump out of a plane. Flying scares me enough as it is. I have to get on a plane in a few days–tell me not to be scared.

    WP I will stand aside and let you accomplish your hit goal on this blog.

    But we need more than me and Wiser. I’m boring, and wiser has a tendency to overindulge in alcohol. NTTAWWT.

  196. wiserbud Says:

    tendency to….? WHAT?

    One night. ONE NIGHT! And I’m branded forever. And I paid for the shoes, didn’t I?

    Okay, maybe more than one night, but didn’t we determine that you are much safer when I am in my cups?

    If you think I’m bad when drunk, you should see me sober.

  197. wiserbud Says:

    The confusing sense of claustrophobia from pressure,

    It’s funny, but I am a bit claustrophobic myself, but I have only had that feeling when diving once, and that was when I forgot to wear my contact lenses. I couldn’t see more than 2 feet and suddenly, I got a little freaked. I almost aborted, but I didn’t want to ruin the dive for my dive buddy and I knew it was all going to be okay, so I brought myself under control and had a great time.

    If you are at all interested, KC, you’ve at least got to try a familiarization dive. You might find yourself hooked. They are beyond safe and they don’t go below 30 feet or so, so you can always surface easily. Just be sure to do it somewhere like the Florida Keys or the Carribean. Like WP says, it’s stunning when it’s clear, but it sucks when the visibility is low.

    As a comparison, I did my check-out dives in Long Island Sound. Visibility? 2″. that’s ” as in “inches.”

  198. Wickedpinto Says:

    If I were the kinda guy who could be Force, I would have gotten into it, but I was too hated, shit, I was dumped for the UNIFORM inspection for MSG by my own commander. Thats on the page eleven.

    I could have tolerated and in fact enjoyed diving, but every experience would have been an ex-post-facto enjoyment, even though the actual experience would have scared the shit out of me.

    I’m neither claustrophobic (was in the spelunking club when I was in Highschool) nor am I Agoraphobic (well, my fear of heights is actually based on agoraphobia, but if I can touch something solid it fades)

    But under water, the compression of irrational behavior is sudden, and complete.

    It scared the shit out of me. Also, I don’t know, but I might be more sensitive to pressure than others. I am not affraid of flying, but my ears are torture.

    Maybe my bitchiness about pressure is the real reason, I don’t know.

    And without a dout, I still snorkeled a shitload in Oki though I didn’t dive.

    The suboceanic is just as, if not more gorgeous than the desert.

    EFFING, EFFING BEAUTIFUL!

  199. wiserbud Says:

    But under water, the compression of irrational behavior is sudden, and complete.

    That can be a serious problem. Down below 60 feet or so is a bad place to have an episode. You can seriously hurt yourself if you freak and shoot of for the surface.

    That’s why my wife doesn’t dive. She had a problem during the lessons we took in a 12 foot pool. She quickly determined that if she couldn’t handle the deep end of a pool, she was not going to do well in the open ocean. She does snorkel and enjoys it, but it really isn’t the same for me. I dig all the gear and shit that goes along with it, so while snorkeling is close, I have seen some stuff that one would never see at the surface.

    By older brother went to flight school while in the Marine Corps. He thought it was great and loved the whole process, including his test flights with the instructor. But after just one solo flight, he DORed (or whatever it’s called.) He just didn’t feel comfortable up there alone and realized that was probably not a great feeling to have while 30,000 feet in the air.

  200. kevlarchick Says:

    I snorkeled and my husband scuba’d in Cancun. We went in at the mouth of a river, so it was a mix of fresh and salt water fish and plants. It was stunning.

    My son took some familiarization lessons at school and loved it. He sat down in the deep for 30 minutes, loving life. The boy is such a pistol I think scuba would be an interesting hobby for him–once he gets interested in anything, that is. What is it with teenage boys not giving a shit about anything and thinking they are all that?

    Long Island Sound? Eww…

  201. wiserbud Says:

    The boy is such a pistol I think scuba would be an interesting hobby for him–once he gets interested in anything, that is.

    Dive instructors get the hottest women. I’m just sayin’…. I wish I had known that when I was younger. Woulda a been a whole different career path for ol’ wiser.

  202. Wickedpinto Says:

    When I would climb rocks, my friends would laugh so much about this.

    When I’m on the face of a rock (never very significant, my highest rated was an 11b I think, and it was the only 11(I think I have the nomenclature correct) I could tackle, it just happened that that face fit my form of climbing) I move very confidently believieng the whole time that it’s going to be know problem. Not much hesitation, virtually know grunting unless I have to go (I think they call it) double diamond, meaning that you jump to the next grip, for a moment you are in the air HOPING, you can grab the next handle.

    Anwyays, my friends would make fun of me, because we had a list of simple not very dangerous rocks that we would take new people too for practice, and I could scurry up these glorified boulders like it was nothing. But once I got to the top of just a little 20 or 30 foot face/boulder, I would lay down, cuz the sensation of that height would make my muscles shivver.

  203. Wickedpinto Says:

    What are the odds of inciting an instalanche?

    That would give me joy too.

  204. wiserbud Says:

    I dunno. Do we really want to cheat and attract trolls to the game? I mean, it’s not like it would be too tough, but the Kevlar would have to spend all that time cleaning up after them.

    Instead, I think you and I need to slyly place links in all of our comments on the other sites we haunt, just to see if we can raise awareness of this lonely little blog.

  205. Cuffy Meigs Says:

    Mission accomplished, WP! I clicked your sneaky link over at Ace’s.

  206. wiserbud Says:

    heh,heh,heh. Welcome to the party, pal!

  207. Tushar D Says:

    I can’t believe this thing is still going on! You are persistent, WP.

  208. Nice Deb Says:

    Uh, hi everybody!

    Hyuck.

  209. Cuffy Meigs Says:

    Did you just throw a eurotrash terrorist out of the conference room window? Yippee-ky-yay!

  210. Some Guy Says:

    Hello, Kevlarchick. WickedPinto. Wiserbud. Dave. Tushar.

    Everyone else.

  211. JayC Says:

    I’d just like to say you have my unqualified support.

    And when I say unqualified, I mean it.

  212. wiserbud Says:

    hmmm, seems things are pickin’ up in here.

    Won’t KC be surprised??

    Where the hell did WP post that reminded you all about this little corner of the intertubes?

  213. wiserbud Says:

    And now that Nice Deb is here, we can really have some fun!

    Honestly, Deb, ’round here, you can be yourself and drop that “nice” facade that you have been fooling everybody with at the other places.

    Be yourself! Be that mean, nasty, dirty girl we all know is lurking beneath the surface!

    Unless you really are that nice. Which would mark the return of blinding pain of a thousand knives stabbing into my brain.

  214. Wickedpinto Says:

    Tell the truth, I don’t remember Wiser. I was planning on slipping random links inside of one of my novella’s about when I was in the Marines. Jedi-mind-tricking everyone into wondering what the hell I was linking.

  215. Michael Says:

    Not your goals, Pinto’s goals.

    And to give Wickedpinto his due, he stated his goals clearly. He’s hoping the KC will resort to “TITS FOR HITS!”

    OK, we’re all hoping for that. At least, that’s the only explanation I can think of for this thread.
    :)

  216. Wickedpinto Says:

    Maybe not KC herself, but this would be a good clearing house for all blog tits.

  217. wiserbud Says:

    “TITS FOR HITS!”

    Well, Michael, if you insist. But my wife says mine really aren’t what they used to be.

  218. mesablue Says:

    Monkey meat!

  219. Monkey Meat Says:

    Yes?

  220. Wickedpinto Says:

    Lipstick is in the middle of implementing operation “.” However, it appears there may be some irresolution on her part.

    Apparently the host is a mighty warrior instilling fear into all who see her.

    However, anyone who can be schmoozed into the right amount of booze, might cave into the diplomatic realities necessary to achieve my goals.

  221. Wickedpinto Says:

    CURSES!!!!! I totaly closed that link, and I can’t ask for it to be closed, cuz then it gives up the plan.

    WAAAAAAAAAH

  222. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC says TFH is a GO, it is a GO, GO GO GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

  223. Wickedpinto Says:

    in practices TFH works.

    I’m JUST SAYING!

  224. PattyAnn Says:

    I fell down the rabbithole.

  225. kevlarchick Says:

    Dude! What is TFH?

  226. PattyAnn Says:

    kevlarchick, it must be this old comment:

    Wickedpinto Says:
    October 7th, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    TITS FOR HITS! (create a drumbeat rythm)

    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!
    TITS FOR HITS!

    Or abject appologizy for the right to contine commenting on this hot new blog.

    but?. . . .any chance that we can get?

    TITS FOR HITS!

  227. Wickedpinto Says:

    WICKED!!!

    We are growing to a point to where we are having internal referencing of previous comments!

    That is an almost self sustaining site rigth there.

  228. PattyAnn Says:

    The sad thing about how I got here is I simply clicked on Wiserbud’s name over on the moron blog ASSuming Wiserbud’s link would take me to his blog. I like his humor but I’m not cclicking on his name anymore.

  229. Wickedpinto Says:

    and wiser called me wiley.

  230. wiserbud Says:

    {{snicker}}

    Everything is falling into place perfectly…….

    *smiling wickedly and twirling tips of handlebar mustache…*

  231. kevlarchick Says:

    You boys are wily. I like that.

  232. Wickedpinto Says:

    The drawback is we have to excercise temperance. Else the scam gets old.

    Every couple weeks we can get people to forget about this place, and then promote a deluge. But if we are lucky, we can be silly enough to get people, out of sheer moronic curiosity to come to the conclusion wiser came to some time ago.

    you know that you have pretty much run out of places to go on the innertubes when you feel the need to check up the comments at Kevlarchick’s blog.

    Words of wisdom to be heard and practiced . . . . .in volume.

  233. Wickedpinto Says:

    devious attempt number 2.

  234. Wickedpinto Says:

    trying to goad blaster into commenting. Hope he takes, seems to be a good sport.

  235. Wickedpinto Says:

    On Music,

    Personaly? I think that the BEST emotive musician of the last 40 years was Jim Croce.

    “time in a bottle”

    My roommate was an “artist” as in paint and palat shit, for a time.
    He was a punk rocker (he was from I THINK berkely area originaly, and finaly los(or is it el?) banos, or whatever (the bathroom? I asked) “kinda” he said, I don’t know spanish.

    His family was “well off” and even by my not at all well off standards I agree, that he is “only” well off” though he found prosperity, thanks to his mothers nuts, that bitch had nuts, in fact, I said that to her at his wedding. “which is your mother eric, is it this lady?” (of course I was right) “you Ma’am, have bigger balls that most Marines, that whole engine fixing thing! I can’t do it, though I do have testicles, just ask your daughter, please, ask your dauther, she’s HOT”, everyone laughed cuz they were prepared.

    Unfortunately I lost that friend not because of HIS family, but because of his wife, who was as mundane as myself.

    (I’m gonna be self pittying and somewhat preachy for a minute, so skip the next comment if you cant stand it.)

  236. Wickedpinto Says:

    That night, the night of my friends wedding, _I_ was the only unit friend who went out of his way, I spent more than 2k in a weekend, only 3 months after I left service as an enlisted guy, to be in the presence of my friend, and his wife, who never looked so beautiful, she really did look stunning that day. TALL, almost as tall as my friend (6′plus, she was, and in heals. . . what?) and her broad body, accentuated her body, not her TYPE.

    She was beautiful that day, and my friend Eric, it was the only time I would say I saw him smile in anything other than humor or irony.

    Eric Smiled, not out of some manipulation of humor, but I think he actually saw his wife, and he smiled, not because he was laughing at my or nates, or some others jokes, he was smiling because, he new that he found joy, and though he couldn’t laugh, his face, for the first time lit up, with something like joyous laughter.

    He was so proud, he wanted to laugh, but he was unfamilliar with it.

    Eric and Jen? I think will last forever.

    Good people, good wedding.

  237. Wickedpinto Says:

    Anyone interested in the same sort of story with a completely different contxt?

    THIS ONE IS FUNNY.

    hint. I was the “wedding photographer” in vegas.

    If KC don’t have the nuts in the next 24, I hope wiser will stand up.

    This is a GOOD FLOGGING STORY!!!

  238. kevlarchick Says:

    Dude, we gotta get you a woman. You need a crazy, sweet, smart chick who will run circles around you.

    Is that the story where you screwed the bridesmaid and got caught on camera? OLD.

  239. PattyAnn Says:

    AAAACK!! WP, what are you doing?? Please don’t get banned anywhere I normally go. I would miss you and it kills me and ruins my reputation to admit it.

  240. Wickedpinto Says:

    Ace ain’t gonna ban me, he is just validating the banification veritas he launched at me last year.

    It’s all cool, I know how to handle it, and so does ace. I bet it’s nothing more than a dance pattyann.

    Ace ain’t a fool, though I hope he doesn’t read this awesome blog and realize that I know what he’s up to.

    As in, create a CLOSE enemy, so that you can bash them, and still stand seperate.

    It’s kinda complicated in a political sense, if ace catches me sharing the truth he might actually ban me.

  241. Wickedpinto Says:

    Patyy? you single? and within reasonable distance to chicago?

    cuz I don’t care what you look like, I would hit that shit.

    I’m just saying.

  242. PattyAnn Says:

    WP, I consider you my internet-son, as I’m old enough to be your Mother. That said, if I had any crazy, single, loyal, funny, conservative, intelligent female friends who lived close to Chicago, I would definitely hook them up with you.

  243. Wickedpinto Says:

    You would regret it PattyAnn.

    I’m a nice guy, but a bit of a heart breaker, though I don’t realize it until I have established a platonic friendship after the end of the romantic one.

    Back to the banning thing. If he did ban me, I had it coming, and can’t rightly complain, I was being a jackass, and needed to be set straight. I should have seen it coming (my crazy) I was building toward it the previous week. LauraW caught onto it earlier in the day.

  244. Wickedpinto Says:

    No KC the wedding photographer one is completely different, I only remembered it after I ran into an article about the wife.

    and there is absolutely no sex involved.

  245. Wickedpinto Says:

    A Friend got married, it was in one of those pissant chappels (chappel of flowers? or something like that?) in vegas. It was a small retinue, and me being me, who’da’thunk? didn’t have a date, like I’m gonna bring one of my cock sponges to something I find value in.

    Anyways, I was given the camera’s. They knew I wouldn’t be teared up (which is wrong) and I wouldn’t be holding my girls hand, so everyone gave me their camera’s. So I was basicaly the photographer of an impromptu weddig in vegas.

    Now, I have no respect, also I’m an atheist, so I have even lest respect.

    I was told to take pictures of the wedding, the ceremony itself, and I took my job serious. I wanted to catch the husband looking lovingly at his wife as he recites his vows, and the bride as she hears them.

    So I got up, and stood behind the priest performing the ceremony, and was leaning over his shoulder as he was offering the various forms, more than a few times using his shoulder to allow for a stable picture.

    I had a couple of “up shots” making the bride and groom look like giants on their great day, but I was nudging the priest out of my way.

    My friend said I took some great pictures, but they are hiding a bunch of others, because it’s hard to make a bride look beautiful when she is glaring at the guy behind the camera.

    Still, a lot of good pictures. Ain’t my fault that the priest was Dicking up my angle.

  246. Wickedpinto Says:

    I SO! fucking wish ace hadn’t appologized to me.

    I feel like 10X the dick that I am.

  247. daveintexas Says:

    WP.

    How many of us have counseled you?

    Tried to help?

    You’re a good guy D. I just wish you’d stop trying to overdo yourself. You’re gonna wear out your welcome, and that’d be a goddam shame.

    Look at the normal people. Emulate them on occasion, ok?

  248. Wickedpinto Says:

    Dave, I am a normal person, and it’s when my crazy takes control that I become the crazy wickedpintoy buffoon and it’s hard to control. crazy is crazy for a reason, if you know what I mean.

    I’m working on it though.

    I appreciate the sentiment.

  249. Wickedpinto Says:

    And I thank all of you for the concern.

    You are all very good people, I knew it before, but in this case, it’s magnified.

    Huggies?

    Lets get them.

    *HUGS!*

  250. Wickedpinto Says:

    Hrm.

    Aces place looks different.

    did he ban me right after he appologized?

    Seems odd.

    All cool, just an odd way to find out.

  251. Wickedpinto Says:

    Am I the only person on the planet who finds the “Ask a Ninja” bit “The creative imperative!” “YOU, WILL , CREATE” friggen hilarious?

  252. toby928 Says:

    I find you views intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  253. Dave in Texas Says:

    nah, it was goobered up yesterday WP. he didn’t ban ya.

  254. wiserbud Says:

    So I saw Elton John in concert the other night. Good show, but whoever was responsible for the sound or mixing of the guitar player should be beaten, then fired.

    In both Saturday Night’s Alright… and Funeral for a Friend, the guitar needs to be just all-out raw power when he hits those chords (you know which ones I mean.) Instead it looked like someone playing air guitar. They about had the rafters shaking, then this nothing litle guitar that you could barely hear just limps in. Ruined both songs and, since this was near the end of the show, really left me less than impressed with the whole show.

    Too bad. I really like Elton, especially since he played mostly his old stuff all night.

  255. kevlarchick Says:

    Haven’t seen Elton John live.

  256. wiserbud Says:

    he looks like a pudgy little gnome, but damn, the man can play.

  257. Dave in Texas Says:

    You mean Elton Fag?

  258. Dave in Texas Says:

    I keed. But I’m not a fan.

    True story, I showed up a week late for my dorm room assignment, and my roomie (whom I did not know) was kinda pissed cause he thought he was gonna get the place to himself. So he sulked a bit, and finally decided to make some gesture of peace, and turned on his stereo and said “do you like Elton John”?

    And I said to him what I just posted to you.

    Yeah, it was a long semester.

  259. wiserb..ummm, I mean 'Rosetta' Says:

    Okay, he was only a little bit dreamy. But come on, the guy is turning 60!

  260. mesablue Says:

    Heh, my first roomie would wake up in the middle of the night and piss right in the middle of the floor and then go back to sleep.

    This went on for weeks and it was really disgusting.

    After a particulary long night of drinking, I got all of the guys on our floor to piss in his dresser. Damn near filled the thing up. The next morning when my roommate found his sopping wet clothes, I told him that he did it. A few more nights of his stuff being covered in piss — shoes, book bag — he moved out and I got my own room. A stinky room, but mine.

  261. wiserbud Says:

    final proof that ace’s site is screwed up. Comments start appearing here, the very last place on the intertubes.

  262. kevlarchick Says:

    *tears on cheeks*

  263. PattyAnn Says:

    I am gobsmacked. Ace banned me. (No, I’m not even kidding.) I wonder if it was my “Sno Balls” comment?

  264. wiserbud Says:

    I don’t think you were banned, PattyAnn. He’s been having some issues lately.

    Trust me, you will know when you are being banned.

  265. PattyAnn Says:

    When i try to post, this is what I get.

    “Your IP address (72.64.xxx.xx) has been banned. If you feel this is in error, please contact the blog owner by email.”

    I put those x’s in there.
    Looks to me like I’ve been banned. Heh! I’ve finally done something WP can’t do. (I wrote Ace and asked him to un ban me).

  266. wiserbud Says:

    I’ve finally done something WP can’t do.

    Maintain coherence for 24 hours in a row?

  267. wiserbud Says:

    Oh, Ace is back. See ya there! (well, not you PattyAnn, but well, pretty much everybody else.)

  268. Wickedpinto Says:

    Sorry Patty, you were probably a victim of poor aim.

    You will probably get a response something like “OH! SHIT! I was aiming for wicked, sorry about that, now I’ll be right back, thanks for pointing that out patty” :)

  269. Wickedpinto Says:

    Awww Shucks Wiser, you give me too much credit.

  270. PattyAnn Says:

    Well crap. I just checked and I’m still banned. I think I have DHCP SO I’m going to try to reboot and see if I get a new IP address. Otherwise, I’ll see y’all on IB or here. SNIFF.

  271. cranky Says:

    Ace moved and left this as the forwarding address? Kewl!

    Got KC up to about 271 comments now. Only 999,739 to go.

  272. PattyAnn Says:

    Hubby says my IP changes only about once a week. So that didn’t work.

    Thanks to KC, WB and WP for saying nice things about me over at AOS.
    I feel like Elizabeth must feel when Rosie stifles her. Not that I’m Elizabeth and not that Ace is Rosie. Please don’t tell him I put him in Rosie’s shoes; he’ll never unban me.

  273. Lipstick Says:

    Wow, I’ve been missing out on this.

    Hi KC!

    Wiser, have you been scuba diving in the BVI? I’m going there in 2 weeks!

  274. eddiebear Says:

    Just wear a lot of sunscreen.

  275. Lipstick Says:

    Eddie, I already mailed all our liquids, creams and gels to the hotel, including sunscreen and bug spray.

    It’s carry-ons only, baby! We’ll be zipping through the airports!

  276. Wickedpinto Says:

    Man, my father is a very very small person.

    then again, my mother is a “small” person, and my brother is a “Person” and so, well, I don’t know how to judge my father, but, after tonight? I will not speak to him for several several weeks.

  277. Wickedpinto Says:

    ESPECIALLY considering how I judge myself.

  278. PattyAnn Says:

    Lipstick it sounds like you’re going to have a great vacation.

    WP, is what he did worth you being so upset? Life’s too short to waste it by letting someone ruin your attitude or giving you a bad day. Try to forget about it.

    Kevlar, I hope you don’t mind me posting so much here. What a week I’ve had; WP makes me an honorary broken bitch and Ace bans me. I must be doing something right.

  279. Satan Says:

    Pinto, if you had just killed your parents like ive been telling you to for the last 30 years you wouldnt still be having these problems.

    Do it all ready. These other voices in your head are starting to creep me out…

  280. kevlarchick Says:

    Are you kidding?! Patty Ann, you are welcome here. You balance things out. Hopefully someone will get to Ace and have him unban you. It was surely a mistake.

    I want to hear all about Lipstick’s adventures since I have no life.

    Satan, get thee behind me.

  281. Satan Says:

    “Satan, get thee behind me.”

    Again woman?

    Your killing me.

    Just because i have horns doesnt mean im always horny.

    Why dont you use that ‘thing’ i bought you and let me get some sleep?

    You know I have to get up early in the morning and welcome a bunch of lawyers to their new ‘office.’

  282. Wickedpinto Says:

    Ain’t like that Patty, it’s just the way things are with us.

  283. wiserbud Says:

    Lipstick, sorry for taking so long to respond.

    I took my first div ein the USVI (St. John’s) while on my honeymoon. It was too cool. We didn’t go deep, which meant we could stay down for quite a while My wife hated it, so she stayed on the boat and tanned.

    Have an awesome trip and definitely give diving a try if you haven’t before. It seem scary at first, but it is really, really safe and all you need to do is keep reminding yourself that, unless you completely screw up, nothing will go wrong.

    But even if it does, I couldn’t think of a better place to die. :)

  284. eddiebear Says:

    Lipstick:

    Oops. Oh well. Good luck. Try not to pet the underwater critters.

    I have to wear a bunch of that sh&t because I’m so pale, I need sunscreen in a rainstorm. And since I like to bike and hike in the summer, it gets really fun with SPF 8000 streaking down my face.

  285. PattyAnn Says:

    At least you accept that some things don’t change, WP. Anyone who spends their life thinking they can change or fix everything is delusional.
    KevlarChick, I agree with you; I think I’ve just been caught up in the new comments thingy banishing machine.
    Can somebody please get a message to Amish for me that his comments today “over there” have been my only entertainment and I especially liked his village-people-Amish?

  286. Wickedpinto Says:

    Like I said wiser, I COULD dive, but there is something about diving that is so reminiscent of the last acts of a desperate dying individual.

    Like I said again, scares the shit out of me. I COULD do it, and I could enjoy it once I surfaced, but still, never ending confusing terror of phobias that I don’t really have.

    though, having snorkeled a lot, I can understand the beauty, of being underwater, if anyone can handle the pressure and the experience, I suggest you do it.

    I remember once, diving down to spear a fish (we liked hunting our own food when we camped, cuz all of us had snorkeling gear, and we were in oki, really, if you can’t hand, or arm spear(whatever it’s called, basicaly a slingshot sorta spear attacked to the forearm?) a fish in oki? you are a retard) and I got caught in one of those little tidal streams.

    theres a lot, LOT LOT LOT of coral around oki (should try oki as a dive spot sometime wiser, being a US citizen and if you know someone who resides on base you can get lodging, GOOD lodging for next to nothing. 32 bucks for a 2 bedroom? can you beat that?) and thats why snorkeling and diving is so popular there. The drawback is that everyonce in a wile, you are retarded (like I and 2 other friends were.) Diving into a “sink” I think is what they are called, and then as you either dive or surface, you get caught by the currents and they throw you into the narrow valley like openings of the surface coral.

    we were battered little bitches by the time we got to the serface, thank god we were all good swimmers, (well 2 good swimmers, the other was a decent swimmer, but decent enough) who knew that it’s worth breathing water if you exhale water the next breath.

    (Um, the inhale exhale water thing is complicated, but it has something to do with what most think of as lifeguard training, though not really that much)

    We surfaced, and I thought it was awesome, but noone would do a freedive like that with me, and I’m not retarded enough to do it alone.

    But the Scuba cats? they have to think of that ALL THE FRIGGEN TIME! at least if they are only moving in small groups.

  287. PattyAnn Says:

    Yea! Ace sent Pixy the okay to un-ban me. I had no idea just knowing I *could not* comment would be so taxing on me. I’m probably going to be too stressed out to comment for 3 to 4 days now. Sure…

  288. wiserbud Says:

    so, I bought a new dishwasher today…….

    Damn, I have some kind of life, don’t I?

  289. PattyAnn Says:

    Wiserbud, what’s her name?

  290. Satan Says:

    Q. Why do men want their brides to wear white?

    A. Because they want their dishwasher to match their fridge and stove.

    Thank you – I’ll be here all Eternity. Tip your waitress and drive safe.

  291. Wickedpinto Says:

    did they say why you were banned? Were you one of those malware carriers that pixy was talking about the other day?

  292. PattyAnn Says:

    Nothing was said about malware to me, just that Ace wasn’t around much and saw my emails this afternoon and Pixy will be unbanning me. That is all I know.

  293. Satan Says:

    Pixy has a blog here -

    http://ai.mee.nu/

    In case you ever need to get hold of him.

  294. Satan Says:

    p.s. The “New Comments Thingey”

    That was my idea.

    Evil.

  295. PattyAnn Says:

    Thanks Satan, but I doubt Pixy would help me out unless Ace blessed it.
    You’ll probably burn in hell for the New Comments Thingy.

  296. Wickedpinto Says:

    Isn’t that redundant PattyAnn?

  297. PattyAnn Says:

    WP, I didn’t think Satan burned in hell, just thought he was the unburned boss there? You have inside scoop?

  298. PattyAnn Says:

    I like this joke.

    I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
    exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age.
    A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking
    him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”
    He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?” “Oh no,”
    I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either!”
    Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs? ” I
    said, “No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very
    unhealthy!”
    Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
    hiking, or bicycling?” “No, I don’t,” I said.
    He asked, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?”
    “No,” I said

    He looked at me and said, “Then, why do you even give a shit?”

  299. Satan Says:

    WP, I didn’t think Satan burned in hell, just thought he was the unburned boss there?

    Yeah im afraid WPs right Pattyann. I burn. But its a dry heat. Sort of like Vegas, but with less casinos and more damnation.

  300. Satan Says:

    300?

    300 comments for a blog that doesnt even exist aint too shabby.

    To celebrate im going to take you all out to dinner.

  301. the 301st Spartan Says:

    am I late?

  302. wiserbud Says:

    I pulled a Slublog.

    Posted at AoS by: mesablue at March 26, 2007 03:42 PM (DzeyU)

  303. PattyAnn Says:

    Is pulling a Slublog as bad as embedding a link to KevlarChick’s blog in wiserbud? :P

  304. Michael Says:

    Yes, PattyAnn. If you pull that crap it IB you’ll get banned again.
    :)

  305. Broken Bitch PattyAnn Says:

    Okay, Michael.

  306. Lipstick Says:

    Thanks Wiser!

    We’re both certified so we’ll probably take the opportunity to go down.

    (giggle)

  307. kevlarchick Says:

    girl you are so bad! Don’t bait him! He’ll end up puking on you.

    Don’t get mad though, he’s so sweet afterward.

  308. wiserbud Says:

    Don’t get mad though, he’s so sweet afterward.

    Well, yeah, but that’s usually because I’m unconscious. Many, many women have told me that that’s the time when I am the most……. tolerable.

  309. wiserbud Says:

    And I always offer to pay the cleaning bills, don’t I?

    Now that’s what I call a being a gentleman!

  310. Wickedpinto Says:

    I just realized why I’m such a douche.

    I tend to tickle at rational opinions and thoughts for an hour or two, and then I get drunk, and I tell stupid pooter stories.

    A thin line between love and hate.

  311. wiserbud Says:

    I just realized why I’m such a douche.

    you’re just a little slow, ain’t ya?

    And, trust me, there’s a lot more reasons evident that what you have recently discovered about yourself.
    ;)

  312. wiserbud Says:

    Why do I have this self-destructive need to poke the bear like that? What personal demons am I battling that forces me to attack my friends in this way? Am I really that insufferably mean or do I just like stirring the pot?

    Aaaaaaahhh, who cares. I yam what I yam.

  313. Wickedpinto Says:

    wily, wily wiser.

  314. Typewriter King Says:

    Where can I find boobies?

  315. daveintexas Says:

    they’re here somewhere

  316. PattyAnn Says:

    Wily, my ass. That was blatant with a capital B. Of course, I fell for it again, though.

  317. wiserbud Says:

    some of you people are too easy. *glancing in Patty Ann’s direction*

    ( *) ( *)
    >
    \_____/

  318. wiserbud Says:

    well, that didn’t work out as I had hoped.

  319. Wickedpinto Says:

    Works for me just fine wiser.

  320. roc ingersol Says:

    Damn, I took a left when I meant to take a right. Now I’m lost.

  321. kevlarchick Says:

    roc, darling, you are right where you’re supposed to be.

  322. Tushar D Says:

    Wiserbud, what are those? Your Boobs? I think your nipples are a bit off-center.

  323. wiserbud Says:

    Madeleine Albright is the complete package. Beautiful, sexy AND politically astute.

    Posted by: Rosetta at March 30, 2007 05:14 PM (omkIU)

    Just needed someplace to store this.

  324. wiserbud Says:

    Oh, and as for my boobs above, yeah, they really aren’t what they used to be.

  325. wiserbud Says:

    Just want to cross-post this here, as I found their honesty absolutely incredible:

    I’ve been in Denver for the last few days. When I arrived, it was 65 degrees and beautiful. When I woke up yesterday morning, it was like a blizzard had hit the town. Today was again approx. 60 degrees and beautiful, melting all of yesterday’s snow away.

    In the local paper, they had a story about how the storm hit about 8 hours earlier than the “experts” expected and stayed longer than they thought it would. A couple of quotes that amazed me:

    “The reason for the almost eight-hour miss was the problem of forecasters choosing among differing computer models.”

    “Two nights ago, it was giving us quite a bit of rain, and that didn’t happen.”

    “With inconsistent reports from various models, meteorologists based their final forecasts on experience.”

    If they can’t predict a snowstorm accurately within one or two days, how the fuck can we trust their predictions for the next 50 or 100 years?

  326. Wickedpinto Says:

    I laughed out loud when rosetta posted that wiser, at first I kinda just glanced over it, and took me a couple extra seconds to processa what he said.

    Thats not a bad idea. great moments in moronism being archived at KC’s Best of the comment net.

  327. Wickedpinto Says:

    “She underwent a vaginoplasty at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and she is very unhappy,” said the source, who added, in perhaps an unfortunate choice of words, “she has decided to hole up and not speak to anybody. The producers are about to pull the plug on the movie,” which would be a mainstream production.

    It’s about Jenna Jameson.

    I so so many places to go with that quote, I’m not gonna bother. I woulda figured some of our friends would have been all over that thing.

  328. wiserbud Says:

    I just acquired a copy of Roger Waters in concert from June, 2000. It is amazing. His band is amazingly tight. They do Pink Floyd about 1000 times better than the current version of the band does.

    Absolutely incredible.

    He is coming to Hartford this summer. I wish I knew someone who was as into Roger Water as I was. My wife isn’t, so she wouldn’t enjoy herself at the show. Same with Genesis.

    Oh, well, at least I have a huge-screen TV. Probably better than actually being there anyway.

  329. Wickedpinto Says:

    I wish I knew someone who was as into Roger Water as I was

    I didn’t like Hairspray, hated Crybaby, and really “Pink Flamingo’s?”

  330. Wickedpinto Says:

    True story.

    While working at an assembly plant, one of the guys I liked, almost got shitcanned, and he said something like “I don’t know why, I just sometimes feel as though I’m gonna miss something big.”

    Before anyone could respond, I said “Pink Floyd ain’t shit without roger waters, the beatles are not gonna get back togher, and who the EFF cared about Frank Sinatra to begin with.”

    Dead silence, because of my seaming non-sequitor, and then the older woman friend, who was also a supervisor started laughing.

    “yeah (wickedpinto) I guess there are no more big things coming anytime soon”

  331. Satan Says:

    What would it take to get the Beatles back together?

    Another bullet and another brain tumor.

    or any combination of the two….it was really a lot better joke when it was “3 more bullets” but i take what i can work with.

  332. wiserbud Says:

    Could you do the Grateful Dead too?

  333. kevlarchick Says:

    Wiser, I’ll go to Genesis with you. Wish Peter Gabriel was there however.

    I’d much rather see David Gilmour. .

    Regarding weather: we’ll top out at 80 tomorrow, thunderstorms from hell will roll thru, and we’ll have snow flurries on Wed. It’s March.

  334. wiserbud Says:

    Wish Peter Gabriel was there however.

    I am giving Genesis a pass, because I refuse to pay $200 a ticket to hear Abacab live. But if Gabriel was joining them, I wouldn’t miss it.

    I saw Peter a few years ago at the Meadowlands. When he fell backward into the audience, instead of the usual “passing him around over their heads” bit, he was instead swallowed up and mauled by the crowd. Two security guards had to jump in and pull him out of the crowd. His suit was nearly entirely ripped off his back.

    I doubt he ever did that schtick again in NY or NJ.

  335. dr4 Says:

    I have a peter Gabriel bootleg from a show right after he left Genesis. Its ok. It could have been great but he did this weird thing with his voice that sounded very…sheep like. It was odd. He does do an amazing job of “Here Comes the Flood” though. Two of them actually. He opens and closes the show with it.

    Im not a big Genesis fan myself. I like the Musical box and a few others and thats about it.

  336. kevlarchick Says:

    Gabriel is all into the World Beat type music. Whacko stuff.

    And what’s up with ticket prices? My friend spent at least $400 for us to see Prince in Vegas, and I’ll be damned if Prince didn’t pull the old “you must cheer loudly for me to do an encore” shit.

    Fuck that. I didn’t even waste a drop of propane from my Bic to get that boy to come back out and sing more. I stood there thinking “at $200+ a pop, that cat should be out here thanking us and playing like a sweating maniac for at least 90 minutes.”

  337. wiserbud Says:

    I stood there thinking “at $200+ a pop, that cat should be out here thanking us and playing like a sweating maniac for at least 90 minutes.”

    90 minutes??!? Elton did 2 hours, 45 minutes and he’s 60! And the ticket was only $130 per.

  338. Lipstick Says:

    That sucks, KC.

    I hate that shit where they make the people who paid — their CLIENTS — beg.

    How was it otherwise?

  339. PattyAnn Says:

    I’ve been out of town so just now catching up here. WP thinks I’m too easy? I read Ace, Dave in TX, Blog Idaho, Goldstein, Collins, and now KevlarChick. That isn’t easy, that’s psychotic.

    ( *) ( *)

    °
    ¥

  340. dr4 Says:

    what is that supposed to be? it looks like a crawdaddy chasing a pebble towards two tomatos…

  341. PattyAnn Says:

    dr4, it’s supposed to be a crawdaddy chasing a pebble toward two tomatoes. They are in season, ya know.

  342. Wickedpinto Says:

    Okay patty, that little graph was disturbing.

  343. PattyAnn Says:

    WP, you don’t like mudbugs?

  344. Wickedpinto Says:

    YOU said you were old enough to be my mother.

    You think I want to see that collection of highly disturbing flesh?

  345. Wickedpinto Says:

    And is your little man in the boat pierced?

    I get that from your expression.

    I totaly need a shower, and parafin treatment.

  346. Wickedpinto Says:

    I think Dr4 is joking, but Dr4?
    That is an ansii graph, that is a nude woman from neck to thighs.
    however this particular format doesn’t allow for blank characters to fill space.

  347. Wickedpinto Says:

    at the start of a line that is.

  348. Wickedpinto Says:

    My point patty ann?

    You want me to say something like. . . “I feel like your blog son, thank you!”

    And then ansigraph my naughty bits?
    Okay, I need another shower, hope the heater can scald off all my flesh.

  349. PattyAnn Says:

    WP, I was just *glancing in WiserBud’s direction* except my nose is smaller and my mouth is prettier than his. And you are correct about the leading blank spaces disappearing when I used the Alt numbers for the symbols.
    That is all.

  350. wiserbud Says:

    You glancing at me? YOU GLANCING AT ME?!? You must be glancing at me, ’cause I don’t see nobody else here!

    \ /
    * *
    ___

  351. wiserbud Says:

    personal to Kevlarchick:

    Love ya, sweetie!

  352. kevlarchick Says:

    *draws a bead on wiser’s scrawny arse”

  353. wiserbud Says:

    *running like my ass is on fire and throwing Mallomars back over my shoulder*

  354. Wickedpinto Says:

    BRILLIANT!
    Patty is officially in the cabal.

  355. Nice Deb Says:

    “*running like my ass is on fire and throwing Mallomars back over my shoulder*”

    Mallomars? Who’s chasing you? Rosie O’Donnell?

  356. wiserbud Says:

    PattyAnn’s just got to learn to be a bit more subtle, but not bad for a first attempt.

    I wonder, does KC know how to ban people from here?

    No reason for asking. Just wondering……

    *whistling*

  357. Wickedpinto Says:

    You know, the OeSbrs thing saying KC is LauraW doesn’t fit with me.

    Not only because of the fantasy, but because KC needed to enlist JackM in assisting her to delete my ill advised link.

    LauraW was editing comments more than a year ago at aces.

  358. wiserbud Says:

    Mallomars? Who’s chasing you? Rosie O’Donnell?

    If only you knew just how funny that is. Check out the Fat Rant thread at Innocent Bystanders for some background. Then pray that KC doesn’t know where you live. :)

  359. PattyAnn Says:

    Is KC gonna ban me too? geez…..

    NiceDeb, that was funny :)
    Yes, I was smiling at NiceDeb, not showing her a two-nippled boob.

    Hey, has anyone else noticed that Amish’s hash if you unscramble it is “SOBER”??

  360. PattyAnn Says:

    NiceDeb, you know KC packs heat, don’t ya?

  361. wiserbud Says:

    I’m not sure I get what you’re saying, Pinto. Lauraw and Kevlarchick are two different people and OEbrS is Amish/”random letters.” Where did he say Laura and KC are the same person?

  362. wiserbud Says:

    Is KC gonna ban me too? geez…..

    She can be pretty quick with the ban-stick, unless you watch yourself. Ask Pinto. ;)

    Honestly, I don’t think she knows how, but I’m sure that wouldn’t stop her from recruiting some help, if the need arises.

    I was more worried about myself today, to be honest. But now that Nice Deb has effectively compared her to Ms. O’Donnell, I think I may have moved out the top spot on her sh*t list.

    Now, if only she would forgive and forget about that one time I had a little too much to drink. I mean, I paid for the shoes! Seriously, What’s the statute of limitations on that, anyway?

  363. Nice Deb Says:

    Did I say something wrong?

  364. PattyAnn Says:

    No, Nice Deb, WiserBud’s just trying to distract KC from going after him.

  365. wiserbud Says:

    Did I say something wrong?

    No, I was just giving KC a hard time earlier today when she made a comment about how she had put on a few pounds over the winter. (Hey, who doesn’t?)

    She threatened to shoot me, I was running and tossing Mallomars and you asked if I was being chased by Rosie O’Donnell. You were funnier than I think you knew you were being.

  366. Will Says:

    NiceDeb, you know KC packs heat, don’t ya?

    What kinda heat might that be? I fell in love with my new 45 this last weekend. The textured trigger makes for one hell of a blister after about 50 rounds, but you damn sure won’t loose your grip.

  367. Wickedpinto Says:

    Okay, I appologize jack.
    Your hypocritical arguments are isolated to me wanting to nail MKH, like you don’t want to.

  368. PattyAnn Says:

    Will, read this: http://michaelscomments.wordpress.com/2007/03/16/kevlar-chick-crazy-cute-and-crazy-deadly/

  369. Dave in Texas Says:

    Will, I’ve been carrying the Ultra CDPII for a couple of years now.

    It is an awesome .45.

    And check out the firepower. Awesome!

    http://daveintexas.wordpress.com/2006/11/10/tushar-wanted-to-know-what-a-45-does/

  370. kevlarchick Says:

    I will not ban any of you–I’d need a tech butler for that. Besides, this is fun.

    And I am not lauraw. Please. Who came up with that silliness?

    I don’t actually own a gun yet. I have to try a few on and look in the mirror while wearing them. You all know how it is. Except wiser who is dressed by his mom.

  371. wiserbud Says:

    YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE!!!! I TRUSTED YOU!!!

    ummm, I mean, that’s not true. I have been dressing myself for years. My mom just does a quick check on all the buttons and zippers and stuff, then makes sure that the crotch isn’t hanging too low.

    Ok, that last part’s a little weird, but hey, whatta ya gonna do? It’s my mom, ya know?

  372. PattyAnn Says:

    KC, be sure to get the pearl-handled one just in case ya wanna wear it for Easter.
    Thanks for not banning me.
    Oh, and I have a Colt .357 magnum. Love my gun.

  373. Will Says:

    Awesome indeed. Were those FMJ’s or Federal personal defense rounds? I’m taking the Arizona CCW class in a couple weeks and I’ve been been looking for some heavy artillery for my hand cannon.

    But really, who needs a handgun when looks can kill?

  374. kevlarchick Says:

    Pearl handled sounds slippery Patty Ann. I have sweaty palms. I probably need big fat rubbery grips. When I fired the .38 with the polished wood grip I almost dropped the little bugger.

    .357 Magnum?!! That’s some Harry Callahan metal there.

  375. wiserbud Says:

    I’ve fired a .357 a few times. Damn near blew my arm out of the socket. I like the sound of it, though.

  376. Will Says:

    I shot my dad’s Colt Blackhawk in .357 when is was very young. I suspect that may be a large part of why I’m still breaking myself of flinching to this day.

    If we’re talking ludicrously powerful “handguns”, an old neighbor talked my dad into shooting one of these (or very similar, and in 7mm Mag if I remember right) scoped for deer hunting. He nearly knocked himself senseless with the scope when it went off and leapt up off the bench.

  377. PattyAnn Says:

    I had a little trouble with the weak arm in the beginning, but with practice it got better. Doesn’t hurt that I am not small and petite. 5′ 10″

  378. Will Says:

    That’s odd… A link that really isn’t a link. I must have missed something. Leta’me try that again.

    And I think WP is going to have to give up on the 1000 (or worse million) comment goal. I don’t think wordpress is made to deal with that many comments.

  379. PattyAnn Says:

    Will, the million goal is tricky, but there are quite a few wily people here.

    Gun in the link looks nice. I’d love to try it out.

  380. Wickedpinto Says:

    The Me hating JackM thing.

    Let me make this clear. I think he really doesn’t like me. I don’t care, I find him entertaining, and don’t really feel one way or the other with him.

    So, since I sense that he doesn’t like me, I am promoting an online conflict between the two of us, but I can’t goad him into it, cuz he’s just OH so above it, with his love appreciation of GG FRIGGEN ALLEN?!?!?!?!

    No, really, I think jack is flogging hilarious, and when I make the “screw jack” comments? it’s really just to draw him out.

    I also think jack is a good guy, not an outright hypocrite, I just pick fights (that he ignores) because I think that we aren’t that far from eachother in basic ideology.

    Really, I mean that. It’s a JOKE fight on my part, and I wanna see how much jack actually believes it’s a real one.

  381. Wickedpinto Says:

    Will,

    The 1 million comments is a LEGACY,

    The immediate goal is 1K comments by years end, preferably 2.5K.

    I want KC to get a sitemeter, and I want her to have 1 million views.

    Those are my honest goals, however if I am denied, I will reach for the moon, and force the situation, I will have WordPress Crash with EVERY viewing of KC’s comments section, in the hopes that I get my million.

    I’m not crazy, I TELL YOU, I TELL YOU I AM NOT INSANE!!!

  382. wiserbud Says:

    we

  383. wiserbud Says:

    could

  384. wiserbud Says:

    start

  385. wiserbud Says:

    posting

  386. wiserbud Says:

    comments

  387. wiserbud Says:

    one

  388. wiserbud Says:

    word

  389. wiserbud Says:

    at

  390. wiserbud Says:

    a

  391. wiserbud Says:

    time

  392. wiserbud Says:

    except that wordpress doesn’t like it when you comment too quickly.

  393. Some Guy Says:

    I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

  394. daveintexas Says:

    Will,

    Tactical nuclear loads.

    Accept no substitute.

  395. kevlarchick Says:

    This blog was a year old a few days ago. It lay dormant for six months until WP started a revolution.

    Wiser, please stop that.

  396. Will Says:

    Hmmm… tank-slagging firepower, or sterility from having radioactive material in the general vicinity of my junk for extended periods? That’s a tough call.

  397. wiserbud Says:

    sorry.

  398. mesablue Says:

    My near death experience today:

    http://moralauthority.wordpress.com/2007/04/09/rush-hour-really-sucked-this-morning/

    Nothing happened to me. I was just near death.

  399. dr4 Says:

    Nothing happened to me. I was just near death.

    you really should stop watching those Andy Rooney segments on 60 Minutes, Mesa.

  400. wiserbud Says:

    really.

  401. wiserbud Says:

    honestly.

  402. PattyAnn Says:

    Okay, this has gone on long enough. Anybody know where Wicked Pinto is?

  403. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m here, had a connectivity issue, fixed it, shortly after my toenails were removed with the use of garage tools.

    The hollidays make me crazy, and I’m not alone in that, so once I fixed connectivity, I didn’t want to lay any shit on anyone, then we got the anna and imus deluge, and I went dormant, playing Civ 4.

    I’m still here patty. Your resident lunatic is still active.

    Anyone know why I suddenly am getting violent nose bleeds?

    I litteraly am gushing blood, and then it stops, then gush, then stops.

    It’s not a wound thing, it’s wierd, and makes me think of diabetics, and my brother who had a major sinus problem brought about by a freakish distortion of his upper palate.

    ain’t been gushing for a day or two now, but really, kinda bizzare, to be brushing your teeth, thinking your gums are a mess (cuz I drink) only to have blood pouring out of your nose like my head was a fucking silver tea service in an english aristocrats household.

  404. PattyAnn Says:

    WP, glad you’re okay. If by okay I mean gushing buckets of blood. Seriously, go get a check up. That is not normal in any discussions of bleeding I’ve ever had on the internet.

  405. kevlarchick Says:

    WP your nosebleeds might be due to the weather. Really. I get them in winter when the first cold snap comes. The inside air is very dry, messes with my sinus, etc. Then the nosebleeds start. After awhile they quit.

    Maybe the last cold snap set your sinuses off again.

  406. Wickedpinto Says:

    I smoke, and on very rare occasions(benders) I smoke enough and am irresponsible enough to be a little raspy, and if I don’t quit eventually I will prlly flogging die from it. That said.

    Who’s the advertising genius at my particular brand of cigarette’s company that sends a flogging harmonica to someone who is commiting slow suicide through asphyxiation?

    Even if I could play the harmonica I could only do it for about 20 seconds, then I will pass out, come too and require another cigarette.

  407. wiserbud Says:

    hi there. Don’t mind me. Just dropping something off here for safekeeping…

    Damn. That article is making me hunger for faggots.
    Posted by: Entropy at April 13, 2007 02:53 PM

  408. wiserbud Says:

    okay, we’re losing steam here.

    Help us, Obi-Wan-KC! You’re our only hope!

  409. kevlarchick Says:

    Maybe we should being the Compliment section of this thread.

    Wiser, you have impeccable taste in shoes. And your love for shrubbery would please Al Gore.

    WP, I would like to have you at my side during a knife fight at my work. We could fight back to back and be the last two standing.

    I like Patty Ann when she plays “mother” to WP, but deep down thinks he’s really hot.

  410. Satan Says:

    Happy Tax Day Everybody!

  411. wiserbud Says:

    KC, try that when I’m gonna actually be around and ooooooo, you are soooo gonna get complimented. I mean, complimented with abject malice, if you know whut I’m sayin; and I think that you do……

  412. Wickedpinto Says:

    You know? I played my first RPG on my comodore vic 20. and that game was Zork I.

    I am much more comfortable with keystrokes, this whole point and click culture pisses me off, thats why I left my trained profession. It was overly infantilized. Give me a greasy elbow at low pay over a pristine pinky anyday.

    If you need individuals to do a job, let those individuals do their flogging job, don’t tell the customers that it’s just a few clicks away.

    ARGH ARGH ARGH.

    I though I could get into the fealing of guest commenting on mesa’s whorish blog in a near instant, but, the layered menu’s and the invalid clicking is pissing me off.

    CURSE YOU GUI!!!!!

    CURSE YOU!!!!

  413. PattyAnn Says:

    “I like Patty Ann when she plays “mother” to WP, but deep down thinks he’s really hot.”

    Snort.

  414. PattyAnn Says:

    Do you think we can get this to 500 before Thursday? I have to go out of town again.

  415. Wickedpinto Says:

    Thursday?

    At best July 4th.

  416. eddiebear Says:

    I don’t smoke (mostly because of the nearly $500/pack rate right now), but my wife was a social smoker at parties and the like who quit when she decided she wanted to have a chld.

    Anywho, she found this story heeelareeeous.

    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/S/SAVED_BY_SMOKING?SITE=TXABI&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2007-04-18-16-42-54

  417. Wickedpinto Says:

    Now after you kiss your lovely wife your gullet will taste like ash, because everyone NOW knows that smoking cigarettes prevents building collapse via global warming :)

    THANK YOU EB!

  418. Wickedpinto Says:

    BTW EB

    to control the link.

    (less than bracket) a href=”(link)”(greater than bracket)”title”(less than bracket)(slash)(greater than bracket)

    if you don’t know what I mean, just do a “file source” click on any block or in fact any webpage with a link you have ever come across. Might take some digging, but well, it’s really quite easy to find if you know what you are looking for.

  419. Wickedpinto Says:

    Okay, I just thought of another degree of wrongness about KC’s blog.

    We need Blog Ad’s. And we have to generate revenue for KC.

    Now that? THAT! would be WRONG!

  420. Wickedpinto Says:

    Since Wiser came up with the idea of using your hot, high volume blog as an archive for great comments, I just figured I would join in that tradition, by insuring that there is an easy access to all who are interested for this post.

    I know it’s not a comment, it’s actually a post, and a news story, but this is the first news story (probably the only one) that I read on the net that made me cry like a little girl who just had her favorite doll broken by the boy she has a crush on.

    I give you. Star, the heroine of boise.

  421. kevlarchick Says:

    I have no problem with folks who want to generate funds for moi.

  422. daveintexas Says:

    But are you gonna ask a bunch of pesky questions about the fund raising?

  423. eddiebear Says:

    Oops. Sorry.

  424. wiserbud Says:

    **searching for the paypal button…..**

  425. Michael Says:

    I have no problem with folks who want to generate funds for moi.

    I think some pictures (for WP, of course) would be the way to kick off the fund-raising drive.

  426. wiserbud Says:

    I think some pictures (for WP, of course) would be the way to kick off the fund-raising drive.

    ****DESPERATELY SEARCHING FOR THE PAYPAL BUTTON!!!!!*****

  427. kevlarchick Says:

    Pesky questions? Heavens no! Just FULL disclosure.

    *closes mini blinds*

  428. Wickedpinto Says:

    What are the rules for blogads and stuff? If you Qualify for any of them, I totaly support doing it.

    Really, 1 million comments is a bit excessive a dream, and 1 million hits is not that unreasonable, but 10K income? MAN!

    That just fits my sense of wrongness in EVERY FRIGGEN WAY!

  429. Wickedpinto Says:

    Was my boobs for blogads deleted?

    Oh thats right I included something else.

    Or did I delete it myself?

    Really I’m more than a bit crazy right now so I lose track of this shit. WHAT SUCKS! Is I can’t blame anything, at least today.

    Cracked my first beer at “A Win for the Good Guys.” and I don’t drink that fast. I’m WAY overdue for sleep.

    Any chance I can get DiT to rub my shoulders with his parfinified hands as I masturbate to fantasy’s of knut?

    Was that out lout?

  430. Wickedpinto Says:

    I started it with you KC, so you want me to give you the ammo I used against you in comment number 2?

    I have a non-blog, that is just a test bench.

  431. eddiebear Says:

    I don’t know where else to post this, but it looks like another illegal alien killed somebody in a drunk driving deal. This time, it was in St. Louis.

  432. eddiebear Says:

    Oh, and WP: thanks for the help.

  433. eddiebear Says:

    It also looks as though a “Recent Jordanian Immigrant” wanted to take on the St. Louis Metropolitan Police. ,a href=”http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story/764FDFAF7EC928C4862572C5000D37B0?OpenDocument”>It didn’t go his way.

  434. eddiebear Says:

    It also looks as though a “Recent Jordanian Immigrant” wanted to take on the St. Louis Metropolitan Police. It didn’t go his way.

  435. eddiebear Says:

    Sorry. I forgot to use the

  436. Wickedpinto Says:

    I don’t care eddie, that flawed link just looks EFFING COOL!

    I don’t know why, that link (I didn’t click it, I mean the link itself) looks COOL! the way it runs over the screen.

  437. eddiebear Says:

    Sometimes things of beauty come from mistakes.

  438. Wickedpinto Says:

    You know eddie? My mom told me that a bunch of times, though I don’t recall the context.
    :)

  439. PattyAnn Says:

    KC, it says “Your comment is awaiting moderation.”
    Are you sure you’re not going to ban me?

  440. Dave in Texas Says:

    These are silly.

    I like silly

    http://www.askaninja.com

  441. wiserbud Says:

    Now it’s really gonna get weird.

    Let the cross-pimping begin!

  442. wiserbud Says:

    And it’s already broken. Hmmmmm, seems appropriate somehow.

  443. wiserbud Says:

    Sorry, guess that was all me. bad link and all.

    Anyway, I hope I’m not giving this away too soon.

  444. Wickedpinto Says:

    Wiser is too damn wily.

    Yeah that is my test blog, so that I can post at mesa’s place. You are just as mean as mesa.

  445. Wickedpinto Says:

    BTW, you know that Mesa has admin access, so it’s basicaly just he and I trading barbs, thats why it’s called “beefcake blog,” I’d figure I’d give him that win, since he already said I eat puppy sandwiches.

  446. PattyAnn Says:

    You would have been so proud of me. Cranky asked where the link was for Mesa’s blog over at Ace’s. I commented at Ace’s with “Cranky, here’s a link” and linked to KC blog.
    On KC blog my comment that is awaiting moderations says “Cranky, if you’re here, here is the link to Mesa’s blog. I must have accidentally pasted the wrong one in my comment at Ace’s.” and then I linked Absolute Moral Authority.

    Man, when one little chink in your armor gets messed up…

  447. wiserbud Says:

    Hey, let’s see if we can get 1000 comments on WP’s test blog by 1/1/08!

    Who’s with me??? Let’s….Goooooooooooooooooooo…

  448. wiserbud Says:

    PattyAnn, you have learned well, my special one.

    I feel so…proud. {sniff, sniff}

  449. Wickedpinto Says:

    I know wiser.

    She’s all growed up.
    She’s all growed up!
    Now we have to corrupt nice deb and our work is complete.

  450. wiserbud Says:

    Oh, I bet Nice Deb will be much, much easier to corrupt. In fact, I get the feeling that Deb is simply waiting to be asked.

  451. lauraw Says:

    What does it mean when a group of people who met on bigger blogs start to exploit ever smaller and more exclusive blogs?

    I mean; right now we’re here, right? And yet there are probably over a dozen other smaller sites that some of us frequent that some others know nothing about.

    Is this a refining process, where our blog personalities get more and more specialized?

    Or are these other blogs merely tributaries to another place where we, as little blog-droplets, will coalesce again?

    Or are we simply falling away and scattering to the four winds?

    Only time will tell, and it goes by so fast on these here innertubes.

  452. eddiebear Says:

    Actually, I think it’s healthy for a narrower group of people to meet on smaller and smaller “splinter” sites. The reason being one person may indeed know a site nobody else does, link to it, and open it up for others.
    Hell, I didn’t start hitting the blogs until May 2004. Before that, I only went by what I read on Drudge and sites like msnbc.com. It wasn’t until Drudge and msnbc.com were linking to sites like RCP, Powerline, Polipundit, Malkin, LGF and the old Redstate.org. I read those during the runup to the 2004 election. I didn’t even discover AoSHQ until mid 2005. I linked to it from another blog (I forget who at this point). Anyway, AoS led me to places like Anklebitingpundits, Goldstein, Deadspin for sports, IMAO and Iowahawk, and eventually IB.

    And on and on.

  453. Wickedpinto Says:

    LauraW? This place? is for “the ‘shine” mesa and my place is for the two fingers tequilla, michaels is for the bombay, maybe the limoncello (it’s actually rather exotic, not a shooter, at least not in the way rosie and danny depicted it. It’s supposed to be drank with bruschetta’s and shit at lunch, one at a time)

    Aces’s place is the guild of thieves, and from their we have established our own alliances, and we chose which to accept.

    KC’s is the most exclusive, so how about you stop judging us? you Blogist!

  454. Wickedpinto Says:

    LauraW is a Blogist! Thats hate speach Blogist!

  455. Wickedpinto Says:

    Blogophobe!!!

  456. Barry Says:

    if it looks like a blog and reads like a blog and bloggedy blog blog blog- it’s a blog.

    Blog. Sounds like something that lives under a bridge.

  457. lauraw Says:

    WP,
    You should really stop huffing oven cleaner.

  458. kevlarchick Says:

    WP how about some of that Two Fingers? We’ll toss it back together. This is a Drinking Blog.

  459. Lipstick Says:

    Hey KC, how’s that sheared beaver working out?

  460. wiserbud Says:

    Hey KC, how’s that sheared beaver working out?

    WHERE’S THE FREAKIN’ PAYPAL BUTTON??!!!!

  461. Wickedpinto Says:

    two fingers and sheared beaver?

    I’m gonna pass out from oxy dep.

  462. kevlarchick Says:

    heh. I feel all soft and warm right now.

    *holds out glass for refill*

  463. Wickedpinto Says:

    *poors and waits for the friggen humiliating head pat*

  464. Wickedpinto Says:

    Wiser! Take a look at this she’s getting cocky! Whats up with that trash?

    BTW KC? did you disable links?

  465. Wickedpinto Says:

    btw, I actually “poured” not “poored.” It’s a conspiracy.

  466. wileybud Says:

    Hey, if PA is doing this kind of fine work (sans the link this time, PA…tsk, tsk, tsk) on the sites we know about, just imagine what she is saying at places that we don’t haunt…

  467. wiserbud Says:

    How’s a nice foot rub sound right about now, KC?

  468. Frankly Says:

    Uh… I’m just back to finally say hey if that’s still cool. So, um, “Hey.”

    Haven’t visited for a hundred comments or so – when some moron at Ace’s linked 2 dozen times in one night. If I were so inclined, I’d go back to wherever I left off & read all the comments…

    From the last few posts, I see “two fingers” & think maybe this isn’t a mixed company blog that I should be visiting??? If you’re talking two fingers of nice bourbon, cool.

    BTW – what’s up with the timestamp? Is KC a neighbor of Pixy or something? It’s not the 3rd yet, is it?

  469. wiserbud Says:

    when some moron at Ace’s linked 2 dozen times in one night.

    Was it that much? {blush}

  470. Frankly Says:

    I guess it was more like 2 or 3 of you in some kind of competition to see who could trick the other into clicking over, so you don’t get all the credit.
    Or blame, whichever the case may be. I haven’t decided yet.

  471. Wickedpinto Says:

    My brother when he went to Saudi during the first gulf war, with the assistance of some of his friends, smuggled in licquor and the booze he smuggled was “2 fingers tecquilla” becuase it looks EXACTLY like a Lox tank.

    I’m just saying.

    Thats why I referenced 2 fingers.

  472. Wickedpinto Says:

    at least the story he told, and I believe it, I’ve seen the 2 fingers bottles.

  473. eddiebear Says:

    My brother was just put on the list for promotion to Captain in the Army. As his reward, he gets to go play in The Sandbox come June. He said the thing he’ll miss the most while gone is the booze. I’m cool with respecting others’ religious traditions (don’t drink water in front of Good Guy Iraqi Soldiers in Ramadan and the like), but c’mon! These guys and gals are risking their lives Why not let them have a bit of bootleg booze?

  474. Wickedpinto Says:

    yeah eddy, respect their culture when you are on their land, but on base, it’s base rules, not gods.

  475. PattyAnn Says:

    “when some moron at Ace’s linked 2 dozen times in one night”

    Such a fine line between pimping and whoring a blog. But I’m learning :)

  476. wiserbud Says:

    Okay, Pixy permanently fixes the comments thing at AoS soon or I am going to totally snap.

  477. Wickedpinto Says:

    I feel kinda bad cuz I harass him quite regularly. wiser

  478. Wickedpinto Says:

    Pixy’s site is ambient irony so I think he gets e-mailed when you comment, so if aces is down bitch there.

  479. daveintexas Says:

    yo sup?

  480. wiserbud Says:

    20 posts from 500! Almost halfway there! Come one guys, you don’t want to disappoint Wickedpinto, do ya?

    Trust me, that would be a very, very bad idea.

  481. Wickedpinto Says:

    You PRICK!

    Thats not a blog, thats basicaly a test and insult site!

  482. wiserbud Says:

    So, like that’s where you plan on testing out your insults before taking them public?

    I’m just guessing, then, that “You PRICK!” got through the testing process cleanly. Huzzah!

  483. Wickedpinto Says:

    heh.

  484. PattyAnn Says:

    This should be #484. Approaching the hump now.

  485. geoff Says:

    I love the blog-in-a-thread thing, though it’s hard to catch up when the threads get huge. Blog Wisconsin passed a thousand a month ago, and is still limping along.

    I think it gets more comments than I do.

  486. Wickedpinto Says:

    bookmark a specific comment geoff. That way you can read something else while KC’s loads, and you will already be at a reference point.

  487. wiserbud Says:

    But, really, is it all that important to “catch up” here?

  488. geoff Says:

    OK – when I said “hard to catch up” I meant “hard to care enough to catch up” and when I said “love the blog-in-a-thread thing” I meant “find it quirky enough to check in once in a while.”

    Sorry for the confusion.

  489. kevlarchick Says:

    geoff thinks I’m quirky.

  490. daveintexas Says:

    “QUIRK QUIRK”

    * a duck with a harelip

  491. PattyAnn Says:

    What exactly do you call it when you start a blog as a starting point for organizing your thoughts in. Then you find other things to do instead of writing your thoughts in the blog. Then you maneuver someone else to write things in your blog. I know there has to be a name for this. Or if there isn’t, we should hastily invent one.

  492. geoff Says:

    Um. AoSHQ?

  493. wiserbud Says:

    I know there has to be a name for this.

    a blog-dodge?

  494. wiserbud Says:

    by the way, a truly learned and experienced wily person would have surreptitiously placed a link in a comment in which she posits such a cryptic question.

  495. PattyAnn Says:

    All of my links belong to here.

  496. Wickedpinto Says:

    Let that place grow slowly wiser. Criminy, you’re there for a day and now you are all about whoring it out! :)

    God knows all of the previous posts have been so widely recieved.

  497. wiserbud Says:

    behold the power of the blog-whore

  498. Michael Says:

    Blog Wisconsin passed a thousand a month ago, and is still limping along.

    I think it gets more comments than I do.

    That must hurt.
    :)

  499. Wickedpinto Says:

    She’s still outpacing that pussy spudder.

    BRING IT!!

    BRING IT YOU non thumb having motherfucker!!!!

  500. Wickedpinto Says:

    DAMN! “opposable thumb mother fucker.”

    DAMN! I screw that shit up every time. I might have opposable thumbs, but I don’t have geezer as an editor, in that spudder wins.

  501. PattyAnn Says:

    Darn, I so wanted to be #500. Congrats WP.

  502. mesablue Says:

    Ho de doh!

  503. cranky Says:

    What number is this? Is it time for confession? I think the ladies here and at IB are just the cutest.

    But Nice Deb is obviously a woman of easy virtue. Did you see her picture?

  504. PattyAnn Says:

    cranky, been reading the jokes on your blog. Some funnies there.

  505. wiserbud Says:

    see her picture?!? It’s replaced that mystical space unicorn as my new computer desktop.

    The unicorn is still my screen-saver, though. I mean, seriously, it’s a unicorn!

  506. PattyAnn Says:

    wiserbud, the unicorn has only one protuberance.

  507. wiserbud Says:

    You need more than one?

    Hmmm, how interesting would it be to get a look at Patty Ann’s AnyWebCam folder.

  508. PattyAnn Says:

    Did you know when AnyWebCam started, to raise operating funds, they offered cheap lifetime memberships? Endless entertainment. Almost as much as Innocent Bystanders.

  509. wiserbud Says:

    I once considered looking into the webcam world, but then saw some of the freaks that were out there and decided to just keep on walking. There are some things in life I just do not need to experience.

    Plus, I don’t like most of the people I am forced to interact with. Why would I try to increase the number of annoying whackjobs that I would be exposed to?

  510. PattyAnn Says:

    wiser, yes, there are a lot of whackjobs out there. There is also entertainment. Pick and choose.
    I guess you never want to see my subfolder, “Fruits & Vegetables”?

  511. wiserbud Says:

    {{{{{{shudder}}}}}}

    MY EYES! THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!!

  512. wiserbud Says:

    Although, I am fond of a nice, fresh tossed salad every now and again.

  513. PattyAnn Says:

    It completely explained that whole “fruit of my loin” concept.

    If we’re not careful, we’ll be at 1,000 comments soon. What is the business plan after that?

  514. wiserbud Says:

    I’m thinking that we slow down on the comments enough so that we are close enough to hit 1000 on 12/31/07. That way I’ll have something exciting to do on New Year’s Eve this year.

    Such an exciting life I lead, huh?

  515. PattyAnn Says:

    Since WP selfishly grabbed the #500 post, I would be happy to help get comments close to 1,000 and let you capture the 1,000 on New Year’s Eve. Then we can celebrate by raising a glass to KC. (If I’m awake)

  516. wiserbud Says:

    Then we can celebrate by raising a glass to KC.

    Well, she has put so much effort into the maintenance of this site that she truly deserves something for her efforts.

    I think an empty glass is perfectly appropriate. ;)

  517. Wickedpinto Says:

    I think wiser should start adding his blog into his by-line.

  518. Wickedpinto Says:

    I modified my own behaviour because wiser came in with real posts, and now he bess’n live up to it.

    As far as I’m concerned, I will give complete control of the place over to wiser, assuming Wiser can actually ride the feral cat he created.

    WHY! did you make it public? really? It was a TEST blog, by criminy!

  519. wiserbud Says:

    which one? the one I had to get or the one with actual posts and stuff on it?

  520. wiserbud Says:

    what, did you suddenly get shy or something?

  521. Wickedpinto Says:

    no, “coy.”

  522. cranky Says:

    PattyAnn, that was you that visited? I’m honored.

    Friends send me stuff and every once in a while I manage to copy, paste, and post them.

    Nice Deb’s picture ened up in my Not-Quite-But-Almost-Porn folder. That picture should have been made into a poster. Farrah who? There’s a country song playing on the radio these days that has a line in it like “I remember Mama before she was Mama.” I’m imagining the IB ladies are all in that real respectable (and still hot now) mode but Good Lord did they ever inspire every teenage boy’s fantasy life.

  523. kevlarchick Says:

    *holds out glass coyly*

    two fingers, please.

  524. PattyAnn Says:

    cranky, I had a lot of laughs at your site. Thanks!

    KC, as someone who has a blog that has influenced others to post many, many topic-less comments on such blog, coy is not a word I would ever associate with you. Or WickedPinto, for that matter. Or wiserbud. Or me.
    Oh, forget it.

  525. wiserbud Says:

    That is one of the nicest things about this blog. You can never get yelled at for being off topic.

  526. wiserbud Says:

    PattyAnn, you don’t like the new direction I’m taking with Pinto’s blog?

  527. PattyAnn Says:

    wiserbud, it hurts my eyes and brain. Gave me a gag reflex. Will not comment there until it is “de-feminized” Frikken PLAID would have been better.

  528. PattyAnn Says:

    ”Stallone’s hormones”” Who could’ve guessed?

  529. Tushar D Says:

    La la la…. dum de dum pum….

    Don’t mind me. I am just increasing the comment count…

  530. daveintexas Says:

    you are all a bunch of goobers and I love it.

  531. cranky Says:

    Hey Dave, what is the singular form of goobers?

    Sorry, I just like saying goobers. Goobers, goobers, goobers…..

  532. daveintexas Says:

  533. Wickedpinto Says:

    I will be honest DiT, I was waiting for the joke the whole time.

    I was waiting for the whole,

    “but lorretta, my darling, as gods light grants us our love, and as my every thought is upon you, I hope you aren’t whoring yourself out to mike in my absence, you know I always thought mike was a lowlife wussbag, so if you fuck him, you can die die die, in the most horrible way. Here I am at war, protecting this union from which we have all prospered from, and it is important, and required of me by god and my own will that I protect it, btw did I ever mention that little sullivan looks a lot like that piece of shit cowhand mike? So help me, if you cheat on me bitch. . . .”

    The rest can be easily ascertained. Instead, I got a real sentimental link.

  534. daveintexas Says:

    I’m not all yucks and giggles man. That is one beautiful letter, and one sad sad story.

  535. cranky Says:

    535. C’mons peeples. KC needs her comments.

  536. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’ve been in a weird mood for the last couple weeks. Don’t know whats going on with me, I can usually tap into some entertaining crazy at the drop of a hat.

  537. Cuffy Meigs Says:

    This blog makes me ashamed that I haven’t posted on my own blog in over a month. EXTRA! EXTRA! Did you know the Iranians released those British sailors?

  538. cranky Says:

    Cuffy, you don’t say!

  539. Sinistar Says:

    Hi Kevlar, Wiserbud told me to post, so, I’ma postin’.

  540. DaveS Says:

    I heard–over at Ace’s–that this was where all the cool kids hang out. But instead I see Sinistar, Daveintexas, wickedpinto. Hmmm.

  541. wiserbud Says:

    well, we’re cool in a “not-cool” sorta way, if you know what I’m sayin’.

    More of a “cool-in-a-stupid” sorta way.

  542. Wickedpinto Says:

    stupid? STUPID!!! You DARE call us stupid!!!?

    We aren’t stupid, we are outright retarded!!!

    Really, does noone have any respect for the english language?

  543. Dee Says:

    Hello! Nice comment blog thingy

  544. Otter Says:

    Sinistar, Daveintexas, wickedpinto. Hmmm

    Hey, you fucked up. You trusted us!

  545. Wickedpinto Says:

    who do YOU think the cool kids are!?!?! I will have you know that at least one of us soils ourselves each weak!! after a major bender!!! (well, okay, by “at least one of us” I mean me, but anyways!!!)

  546. Sobek Says:

    I haven’t commented here in a while.

  547. Nice Deb Says:

    *gasp!*

  548. wiserbud Says:

    I will have you know that at least one of us soils ourselves each weak!!

    That reminds me… I wonder why compos mentis doesn’t comment here.

  549. PattyAnn Says:

    “I haven’t commented here in a while.”

    Me either.

  550. kevlarchick Says:

    Anyone who soils themself as often as the WP can be counted as cool.

    Big brainiacs like Sobek only come here when they’re “bored.”

  551. wiserbud Says:

    Some day, I’m gonna have to count the number of comments that are made here for no other reason than to increase the comment count.

    Well, someday when I have nothing else at all to do what-so-ever. Like, absolutely nothing.

    Like now, fer instance.

  552. wiserbud Says:

    397

  553. pattyann Says:

    397

    wiserbud, sometimes your lifestyle saddens me. It’s so close to mine.

    In related, sad news, kevlarchick, I am sorry but I’m going to be changing my link from here over to the kitty blog. Wickedpinto made me an author there and I cannot deal with split loyalties.

  554. Wickedpinto Says:

    I blame bush.

  555. wiserbud Says:

    Patty, patty, patty. How dare you? Don’t you understand the game here? We must support this blog, if for no other reason than it is the best blog on the whole damm ‘net! Simple, uncomplicated, easy to keep up with, no fear of banning for going off-topic. Hell, can you ask for a better place than this to just, ya know, hang?

    Plus, we only have about 6 full months to go to push the baby over 1000 comments. Then we can start reassessing our business model. But you can’t change horse in mid-stream.

    Remember where your loyalties lie and never forget your friends.

    Support the KC blog!

  556. Donald Trump Says:

    Rosie O’Donnell’s a fat disgusting pig.

  557. wiserbud Says:

    Seriously, Donnie, don’t you have better things to do with your time?

  558. Wickedpinto Says:

    like melania

  559. Wickedpinto Says:

    though she would be hotter if her nipples pointed along the same axis.

  560. Wickedpinto Says:

    We aren’t making bad progress, I didn’t figure we would hit 500 until june.

  561. kevlarchick Says:

    the *kitty* blog?

    And just what do you think this place is?

  562. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC?

    You talking about “kitties” while wiser and I are present is not a very . . . .well, matrimonial thing to do.

    cuz we might answer.

  563. Michael Says:

    I haven’t commented here in a while.

    I noticed that, and took it as a sign of the good judgment expected from a lawyer.

    Um, oops.

  564. nicedeb Says:

    What’s new?

    http://nicedeb.wordpress.com/

  565. kevlarchick Says:

    Holy shite, girl. You’re like *posting* on your blog.

    WP, I am not in matrimony with you or wiser. You are both blessed indeed.

  566. daveintexas Says:

    Wormer? He’s a dead man! Marmalard? DEAD!

    NEEDERMAYER????!!!

  567. Wickedpinto Says:

    Why the hell did I say “matrimonial?” you know what it was? I talked to T the other day, I blame her. I meant “matronly”

    Why the FUCK would I make that slip?;

    Thats right, I’m retarded, sorry about that.

  568. pattyann Says:

    wiserbud, I didn’t say I wasn’t still going to come here a couple of times a week to comment.

  569. Dee Says:

    What number are you at now?

  570. Dave in Texas Says:

    I’m at number seven.

    Am I being served yet?

  571. Wickedpinto Says:

    Does anyone find “happy memorial day” a rather oxymoronic and almost callous statement?

    I never know how to react to this particular recognition of nobility. I usually just point at shit and drink.

  572. Wickedpinto Says:

    Dave?!

    *pops*
    *locks*
    *snaps*
    and
    *breaks*

    OOOOOOOoooooohhhhh! You just got served!!!

    You happy now?

  573. kevlarchick Says:

    Thank you for your service to our country, Wicked Pinto.

    And please don’t call me “matronly.” That hurt.

  574. Wickedpinto Says:

    You’s a mommy!!!

    Matronly is hot, specially when the mommy (who is not my mommy) is hawt.

    Thats dual hawtificationisation.

  575. geoff Says:

    I’m sure he meant it in a Tex Avery drooling wolf kind of way, KC. But my advice is, don’t make him explain it – it’ll only make you blush.

  576. Wickedpinto Says:

    Also KC,

    Mesa served, purple served, geezer served, those are my only ones I’m sure of right now.

  577. geoff Says:

    Mesa served, purple served, geezer served

    Hey, hey, hey. I served, too!

    If you count the Air Force.

  578. Wickedpinto Says:

    Too late geoff! MUwahhahahahah

  579. Wickedpinto Says:

    I didn’t know geoff.

    Geoff Served.

    There are a lot of those who served, I’m just one of the most vocal about it.

  580. Wickedpinto Says:

    hehehehe, though back to the AOS comment thread talking about food and branches of service, not only did geoff serve, he GOT served, most likely by a “person, little 1 each”

  581. Russ from Winterset Says:

    I figured I’d better come over & say “Hello”.

    Hello!

    I’ll be going now.

  582. kevlarchick Says:

    Thank you all for your service. You keep us free.

    - The Matron.

  583. daveintexas Says:

    don’t make him explain it – it’ll only make you blush.

    This is something they teach you in the Air Force called “stating the patently obvious”.

    There’s a part of me though, a bad part, that wants to hear WP explain.

  584. Wickedpinto Says:

    The explanation is easy.

    I always hit on the wimmins, it makes the wimmins feel good, but if it goes on too long, or seems genuine then it creates an uncomfortable environment. So I move from direct gender flattery to general flattery of non sexual references.

    By praising the way in which KC is handling her raucous brood, I’m offering praise, while simultaneously maximizing the ridiculous nature of my more specific “sexual” like flattery.

  585. daveintexas Says:

    I really wanted more from that.

    But you gave it up. Thanks.

  586. pattyann Says:

    Hi!

  587. Wickedpinto Says:

    Is pattyann begging to be hit on?

  588. Wickedpinto Says:

    I don’t know if I’m always been able to articulate it, but I’m pretty good at being a manipulator. Thats why I don’t like authority positions. It’s too easy for me.

    That and the huge cock.

  589. Wickedpinto Says:

    Why dave? Am I always the dancing monkey? shouldn’t you start cranking the box so that I could. .. . .

    I’m just Effing with you.

    Nah, Really, look at that past several months, wickedpinto hasn’t been the wickedpinto most think of. I’m actually a normal and nice guy, and I was “wickedpinto” in that way at those times for exactly the reasons I just described about my ability to manipulate people.

    Kinda sucks actualy, I’d almost rather be that insane loser, than who I am, but I’d much rather be the person I am than the manipulative prick I am, or the rotten prick I start with.

    I believe I have said “when interacting with people, put your worst foot forward, then turn on the charm” or something like that. If you can overcome a bad first impression? you can slaughter villages and still come off as a prince.

    I do that on purpose as well.

  590. daveintexas Says:

    Am I always the dancing monkey?

    Always?

    No, not always.

    now who’s effin with who again?

  591. pattyann Says:

    No.

  592. Wickedpinto Says:

    I was screwing around, I was in a weird “humour” last night.

  593. pattyann Says:

    I know that, WP. I was simply trying to see how many one word posts I could make in a row. Now you’ve ruined it! You meany!

  594. wiserbud Says:

    gettin’ a little heavy in here lately.

    So, a guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. Bartender says “How long have you had that?”

    The duck says “Oh, this guy’s been on my ass all day.”

  595. pattyann Says:

    hey, wiserbud, cranky has some good jokes on his blog. I’ll have to go see if I can find it’s address. Not that your joke wasn’t good or anything, heavens to murgatroid, I’d never say that to you.

  596. Wickedpinto Says:

    You mean Your Crazy Unkle patty?

  597. pattyann Says:

    Thanks, WP, but it’s this one I was thinking of Balance Sheet

  598. pattyann Says:

    You got me, WP. You won this round hahaha.

  599. Wickedpinto Says:

    all in the plan.
    1) get pattyann
    2)
    3) proffit

  600. kevlarchick Says:

    #600!

  601. Dave in Texas Says:

    #601!

  602. wiserbud Says:

    I had pattyann once. But one simple shot and it cleared up nicely.

  603. Wickedpinto Says:

    She’s gonna get nice deb to threaten you, you know that Wiser?

    I only lasted a week, what you think you got in you? Mesa caved in less than a day. (geriatric bikini babes) you think you can hold out?

  604. Wickedpinto Says:

    Though I have to say Geriatric Binkini Babes, even beats “foil man” in my opinion.

    Brilliant Execution mesa, BRILLIANT!!

  605. pattyann Says:

    There seem to be a couple of very bored buddies here. Sic’em, NiceDeb.
    And if they are this bored, they should go check out the latest slam on “General” Gleeen Greeeeenwald over at WuzzaDem

  606. pattyann Says:

    wiserbud, you are a meany!
    wickedpinto, you are _______ well anybody can fill in the blank.

  607. pattyann Says:

    Hey! Why isn’t the permalink working? Go to Wuzzadem, May 28th.

  608. nicedeb Says:

    I need to put Wuzzadem on my blogroll. I’ll do that right now.

  609. wiserbud Says:

    I ain’t askeered of you. I ain’t askeered of anybody..

    Do your worst, PA.

  610. PattyAnn Says:

    NiceDeb, you forgot to threaten wiserbud. We don’t want him to feel unluved.

  611. wiserbud Says:

    Wait! Hold on here a sec, PA! No need to get nasty now. We’re all friends here.

    Yeah, that’s right. Real good friends…. Nice and easy-like….

    **checking to make sure cup is in place and assuming a defensive stance, in preparation for Nice Deb’s threat**

  612. cranky Says:

    PattyAnn is being nice to me . Been a couple weeks, guess I should look for something to copy and paste. Or just run up the comment count here.

    WP, that Happy Memorial Day and Happy Veterans Day thing is weird to hear. I’m thinking of friends of mine that aren’t here anymore and the last thing I am is happy. Memorial Day and Veterans Day to me are somber days. I’m glad those guys lived. I’m sorry that they’re gone.

    Switching topics: what is a geriatric bikini babe? Bea Arthur? Helen Thomas? Am I completely wrong?

  613. Wickedpinto Says:

    Cranky, it has to do with thewickedpinto.wordpress.com.

    It’s basicaly me, mesa, wiser, patty, and deb picking on eachother.

    One time mesa changed the blogroll to nicedeb.wordpress.com’s description to read something like “Bikini Babes Gone Wild??!!!”

    Then NiceDeb got all touchy, so mesa (I think it was mesa) referencing a previous joke, changed it to “geriatric bikini babe.”

    Just go to NiceDeb’s place, and look for the picture of her on an innertube. As in inside a tire, not as in the “intertubes” which we are talking on at this very moment.

    NiceDeb, I’m here to help, your pagehits are pretty good considering the nature of it’s blog pimping.

    BTW, cranky, NiceDeb LOVES jokes about “aleve.”

  614. Wickedpinto Says:

    Correction, it was geriatric bathing suit bimbo’s

  615. Wickedpinto Says:

    No hotlinks KC?

  616. nicedeb Says:

    My ears have been burning…

  617. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m not allowed to make the follow up joke nicedeb.

  618. Wickedpinto Says:

    Also, cranky,

    Do you know that “nicedeb” is the one who has offered threats of death more than anyone else on thewickedpinto/hostages?

    (of course most/all of them were directed towards me, but hey! it ain’t my fault!)

  619. cranky Says:

    Damn, WP is getting death threats? You’ve hit the big time dude! What’s with the combination of “nice” and “deb” if she is making death threats. Seems like the “nice” needs to be striken from that name.

    Oh, yeah. I remember now. The bathing beauty in the innertube in the pool. And the source of the ‘nice’ appelation. That right there is the cause of global warming.

  620. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m getting death threats from someone who authors at my own “blog.”

    And you know deb well, It isn’t so much “nicedeb” as much as “niiiiiiiiiiice” deb (southpark “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPlfEP_n_lc&mode=related&search=) doesn’t matter cuz KC blocks links. (I might be responsible for that. Sorry about the “crazy bitch” scandal)

  621. cranky Says:

    I’ve read where nicedeb has used the word ASSMUNCH. Think she was referring to mesa.

    Shocking language. Just shocking.

  622. Wickedpinto Says:

    Oh, Cranky? thats just an initiations!!!!

    For some reason Deb and Patty don’t like being called geriatric, and the mention of “aleve” and “capsaicin” and such.

    They are SO TOUCHY!!!

  623. daveintexas Says:

    Am I the only one who thinks Fountains of Wayne overuses feedback?

  624. cranky Says:

    Dave, apparently yes, you are the only one. Just given you a little feedback. Who is Fountains of Wayne and should I fear this person/group?

  625. cranky Says:

    given giving, dammit.

  626. daveintexas Says:

  627. cranky Says:

    Brunettes tossing their hair and trying to shake themselves out of their clothes?

    And some guy with a guitar — who cares about him? Let’s have more hair tossing and bootie shaking.

  628. wiserbud's sister Says:

    Is anyone here planning to get an iPhone? Personally, I’ve never been all that excited about the whole iPod craze, but the phone looks pretty cool.

    Of course, I can’t wait to hear about the first idiot who gets into trouble and can’t make a call, because he ran down his batteries playing Bejeweled.

  629. wiserbud Says:

    wait, I’m logged in. What happened there?

  630. Wickedpinto Says:

    There? you mean why your previous comment didn’t have the url link?

    It’s cuz everything resets if you change the name, cuz more than one person can be using the ip, so you have to highlight and pass through the e-mail and the url link.

    If you mean on your/our blog, then I have no clue.

  631. Wickedpinto Says:

    Iphone?

    Shit, I’m still a Motorola I710. I could upgrade, but why bother? It’s small enough, it was more than cheap enough when I took it for a test run, and I haven’t bothered to upgrade.

    If you need something even smaller, but more powerful in your pants while trying to express yourself, then you are lacking both size and power.

    (Did I just semi-paraphrase Franklin?)

    When I’m prosperous I will piss away money on toys like that, but at the moment, other than my CPU (2.6 gig actual amd, 3.2 (I think) test clock speed) I don’t have anything that is less than. . . .9 years old.

    Early adopters are retards, I apologize to the well educated retards who are early adopters.

  632. pattyann Says:

    For some reason Deb and Patty don’t like being called geriatric, and the mention of “aleve” and “capsaicin” and such.

    Because we don’t need “aleve” and “capsaicin” and such. If I haven’t worn out my God-given gifts, it has not been from a lack of invitation or a lack of trying. You, on the other hand (she said hand!) just basically, to quote WP, “need something even smaller, but more powerful in your pants while trying to express yourself”. And you’re young! I think there’s nothing else to be said.

  633. Wickedpinto Says:

    I actually say it cuz I know it’s a load of crap patty.

  634. pattyann Says:

    Don’t worry, WP. I just hadn’t picked on wiserbud in a few days. Felt the need.

  635. Wickedpinto Says:

    Oh, fixed the categories thing too, you couldn’t delete?

  636. pattyann Says:

    Thanks WP.

  637. daveintexas Says:

    this one’s interesting too.

  638. nicedeb Says:

    “Here she comes just awalking down the street, singin’
    Doo wa diddy diddy dum—–
    Oh, Hi!—–
    diddy ay”

  639. mOZdacious Says:

    Rollin rollin rollin, keep that bloggy goin ….

    G’day KC! Just a quick question, are you a biker chick?

  640. Wickedpinto Says:

    Careful, she can shoot!

  641. Wickedpinto Says:

    Sorry, I’m being protective, sorry about that T.

  642. mOZdacious Says:

    WP, just asking an honest question. I wear Kevlar stitched gloves.

  643. Wickedpinto Says:

    I forgot about “boris.”

  644. kevlarchick Says:

    Am I a biker chick? Naw. But most bikers are good folks.

    WP your protectiveness warms my heart. Thank you, sweet thing.

    Now get the fuck outta the way before I draw a bead on your high and tight jarhead.

  645. Wickedpinto Says:

    I was actually protecting mOZ.

    For that very reason.

  646. Wickedpinto Says:

    For posterity

  647. PattyAnn Says:

    WP, you and wiserbud should brainstorm more often. That was truly funny. Dirty but funny.

  648. Wickedpinto Says:

    I think wiser will get tired of doing all the work.

    I just got idea’s.

  649. wiserbud Says:

    I am always happy to do the work if it is worth it I really thought WP’s idea of animating it was great, so it gave me the incentive to get ‘er done.

    It’s silly, but it still makes me laugh.

  650. wiserbud Says:

    In fact, a few moths ago, I wanted to do an animated picture of John Kerry windsurfing through an area in the Middle East that had been flooded, instead of just a snapshot ( I don’t have the picture anymore, but it was pretty well received when I lined it at AoS.) I thought it would have been hilarious, but I wasn’t motivated enough to learn how to do it. Maybe I’ll save the idea for another time.

  651. Wickedpinto Says:

    You didn’t do bad with that image isolation in the “catblogging” thing. I might throw more concepts your way.

  652. Dave in Texas Says:

    I’m an idea man too. Always got the ideas rolling… hold on..

    *click*

    Edible. Garbage.

    *click*

  653. Wickedpinto Says:

    *click*
    Tuna salad, Why not feed the tuna mayonaise!
    *click*

  654. daveintexas Says:

    heh

  655. Niblets Says:

    Whare the hel am I?

  656. Niblets Says:

    Catch me if you can, suckers!

    Hey, ‘Pinto is that a carrot in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  657. Niblets Says:

    Heh, no one will ever find me here……

  658. pattyann Says:

    Jimmy crack corn…

  659. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m totaly telling spudder where niblet is hiding.

  660. nicedeb Says:

    Is Niblets hiding here? I thought she was chilling with Knut over at the cat blog.

  661. Wickedpinto Says:

    Mesa might have scared niblets off, either that, or niblets is almost in his sight picture.

  662. Wickedpinto Says:

    So, I’m getting ready to go to sleep and fantasizing about nibblers being slaughtered and stewed up, and as I reach into my pants, I realize that that might be considered “kinky” for some reason.

    I totaly shouldn’t have typed that.

  663. cranky Says:

    WP, there a lot of that reaching into your pants going on? Maybe you should get out more often. You know, break a bitch or something.

  664. Niblets Says:

    Your creping me owt, Wikidpito.

  665. Wickedpinto Says:

    *click*
    do not type while thinking
    *click*

  666. Dave in Texas Says:

    *click*

    Never ever type anything after typing “random thought”. Just walk away from the keyboard.

    *click*

  667. pattyann Says:

    Is it Thursday yet?

  668. Wickedpinto Says:

    I give fred! a flat B.

    I think that his articulation of Iraq was a little weak as well as softened by the clear injection of the interviewers own opinion into the response of the first answer on the subject, but in everything else, I liked it.

  669. cranky Says:

    WP getting all erudite and William F. Buckley on us. You just can’t pin him down. An enigma.

  670. Wickedpinto Says:

    Crazy!

  671. the fucking cocksucker deer Says:

    an enigma wrapped in a riddle, eating a burrito

  672. kevlarchick Says:

    Happy Father’s Day to all daddies.

  673. Dave in Texas Says:

    and my dad’s 76th bday

  674. Wickedpinto Says:

    One of my favorite things.

    When Someone comments at AOS that they are washing and maybe bleaching their testicles, there is no followup, but just a part of the new vernacular.

    Thats genius at it’s greatest. Kinda like Shakespeare and the whole “dogs of war” thing.

    “CNN is watching? I”m gonna start washing my balls”

    thank you Jackstraw, I thank you.

  675. cranky Says:

    I’m listening to The Elders per Nice Deb’s recommendation. Now I think I’ll go wash my balls and go to work for a few hours. Thanks to both Nice Deb and Wickedpinto.

  676. lauraw Says:

    what’s up toots?

    long time no chitty chat

  677. Wickedpinto Says:

    Hey Cranky, thats not bad! NOt exactly my style but in the right mood I could dig it, I’m getting a dave matthews and talking heads feel.

  678. nicedeb Says:

    The Pass It On Down album (the illustrated one) with “Packy Go Home” is my favorite.

  679. Dave in Texas Says:

    my balls are already clean, but I might wash em again just for the hell of it.

  680. kevlarchick Says:

    Dave and Cranky, stop. That’s just gross talk.

    lauraw, how’s the hair?

  681. pattyann Says:

    Happy Father’s Day to all Fathers, or those who act like one.
    Happy Birthday to DIT’s Dad.
    Happy Birthday to my Mom.

    I just had a jacuzzi, does that count?

  682. Wickedpinto Says:

    Sorry KC, I kinda set the stage for it with the clean scrotum thing, though it was Jackstraw who started it.

  683. lauraw Says:

    short.

    whatchoo do today? Have fun?

  684. wiserbud Says:

    My kids gave me the 1st season of WKRP on DVD for Father’s Day.

    I am so disappointed. They had to deal with a ton of music licensing before they could release the show, so I expected some minor changes.

    It is amazing how much they had to alter the show, to the point where some of the jokes that were based on the songs were totally screwed.

    Seriously, it kinda sucks.

  685. wiserbud Says:

    In fact, I don’t think they got any rights for the songs they originally played.

  686. wiserbud Says:

    Meanwhile, Jennifer was smoking hot! As was Bailey

    I was talking to my wife about this tonight. WKRP offers the same argument as Gilligan’s Island, Mary Ann or Ginger.

    So, what’s your call?

    Jennifer or Bailey?

    Me? I say…ummmmmm…..Jenn……no…wait…..hot but …….Bai…….no….
    well…….cute and smart………blond, smoking hot……

    Bailey. No question.

  687. Wickedpinto Says:

    Which one was banging burt reynolds?

  688. wiserbud Says:

    Jennifer (Loni Anderson)

  689. Wickedpinto Says:

    she had great juggs.

  690. daveintexas Says:

    Dave and Cranky, stop. That’s just gross talk.

    lauraw, how’s the hair?

    Ok, I won’t go for the lowest common demoninator.

    But I wasn’t the only one who thought it.

  691. Wickedpinto Says:

    I did now, so you are still at fault.

  692. kevlarchick Says:

    laura, you cut your hair short? Good for you.

  693. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m thinking about going with the crew look again myself. Been letting my mane get a little unruly, and while I have a decent wave to it, it’s just too gay.

    Sorry, I shouldn’t have intruded in your girl talk.

    OH MY GOD! I ENGAGED IN GIRL TALK!!!

    Quick wiser, get me a beer bong, a dirt bike and an octagon.

  694. lauraw Says:

    Yeah, just above shoulder length, and the bottom edge is thinned so I don’t have this heavy thing against my neck for Summer.

    I miss my really short ‘do (I used to wear it almost in a wedge).

  695. Dave in Texas Says:

    I had a ponytail in college. Hair that long is a pain.

    I looked good though.

  696. Cuffy Meigs Says:

    You know, all this ball talk is a perfect seque for a certain grooming sumpin I was whoring over at Ace’s today… Just sayin.

  697. Wickedpinto Says:

    I just saw it at your place cuffy, I never saw it before.

  698. kevlarchick Says:

    My son grew his hair out over his eyes. I got tired of watching him toss his head just too see clearly. Apparently he did too. Got the high and tight buzz yesterday and promptly sunburned his head.

    My hair has been short for at least 20 years; off my neck and just touching my ears. I’ll never go back. I’m not into hair maintenance. I think if I had the balls (staying on the topic of balls), I would go even shorter. But folks would think I was a boy. I’ve been asked more than once if I’m the “babysitter” when I’m out with my kids.

  699. lauraw Says:

    Hubby would be kind of ticked if I started keeping it real short again. He hated my short hair.

    I know, I know. But he asks so little.

  700. cranky Says:

    # 700. Yeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  701. cranky Says:

    Dave and Cranky, stop. That’s just gross talk.

    I was talking about my golf balls. What were you thinking?

    Get your mind out of the gutter, lady! 8>)

  702. daveintexas Says:

    I’ve been asked more than once if I’m the “babysitter” when I’m out with my kids.

    Sounds like a nice compliment to me about how young you must look.

    lauraw, that’s sweet of you to wear it the way your husband likes it to be, even though you’d rather not. *snif* *HONK*

    You wimmins are darlings.

    You too WP

  703. nicedeb Says:

    Cranky, your blog’s comment thingy isn’t working. I’ve been trying to comment at your site to tell you I hope you’re feeling better after your accident.

  704. lauraw Says:

    Are you mocking me?

    JUST last night he said he was going to see if he could get into his barber and get his hairs cut today.
    I said, “Will you have him cut it real short like the time before last? That looks nice.”

    He said, “Right, like you get your hair done the way I like it?”

    I said, “HUH?”

    He gave me crap about how it wasn’t ‘long’ like he likes it anymore. So, I guess I might as well have cut it shorter, because according to him, even this is too short.

    I am sorry. But if he thinks I’m going back to having a mop of heavy hair down to my ass, he is smoking large crack rocks.

  705. cranky Says:

    Nicedeb, I just looked and there wasn’t anything in the spam bucket or in the Dashboard being moderated. I just tried to comment on the Blonde joke someone sent me and it worked. Maybe I changed something and don’t remember. Had a CAT scan yesterday to see if something had gotten knocked loose.

    Hard to concentrate and the medications knocked me silly. Did I write something somewhere about getting hit? Joking aside, I really don’t remember doing that.

    The guy I hit said my truck looked like it was thrown up into the air and then came down on his left rear bumper. The lady who hit me was doing about 45 mph according to the police report. None of the insurance companies, including my own, want to talk to me now because I was hurt. That’s what I call customer service. It has been almost 24 hours since they said someone will call you within the hour. 8(>

    Nice Deb — thank you, you’re a sweetheart.

  706. cranky Says:

    That should have been 8>(

    Geez.

    Remember Terry Tate, Office Linebacker? I guess I feel like one of his tackling dummies.

  707. nicedeb Says:

    Oh, that doesn’t sound good.

    Sounds like you were part of a multiple car pile up. Keep on your insurance co.

    How did the CAT scan turn out?

    I think you should take some pain pills (hopefully prescription strength) and watch some old movies this weekend.

    Dave In Texas was having trouble commenting at your site, too, so it’s not just me.

  708. The Critter Says:

    I was the creme filling in that three-car cookie. Don’t know about the CAT scan. My doctor called and left a message saying she wouldn’t leave a message. I have something with codeine, hydroco-something, in it but I have to go get a haircut and do some grocery shopping before I take anything. Old movies sounds like a great idea. High Noon with Garry Cooper is on right now.

    Then there is always Open Range on DVD to fall back on too.

    How’s your garden?

    8>)

  709. nicedeb Says:

    Well, you should call your doctor back, right away, mister.

  710. The Critter Says:

    Military hospital with a telephone menu from hell. Nobody there on the weekends and she called me close to 6 pm Friday. I didn’t see the light blinking until 6:30. No direct number — I tried.

    Forgot laundry detergent back to the store then some sleepy time courtesy of Mr. Codeine.

  711. cranky Says:

    The last one was me. Nice Deb is after The Critter with a shotgun. Changing my vegetarian diet due to imminent shotgun blast.

    Beef: It’s whats for dinner.

  712. Wickedpinto Says:

    It’s an evil spotted hitler rabit cranky.

  713. cranky Says:

    Nazi rabbit? That is just not right.

  714. lauraw Says:

    Wow, feel better soon cranky.

  715. cranky Says:

    Thanks lauraw. I’m looking forward to dealing with the insurance companies now.

  716. Wickedpinto Says:

    Yeah cranky, All the insurance crap pisses me off. My ma’s had a heart attack and has had to deal almost every day with insurance company’s that send 15 page letters to her about her treatments and follow-ups.

    Yeah thats just what an older woman who just had a heart attack needs, to deal with insurance company’s who stress her out. Good on you insurance!

  717. Dave in Texas Says:

    lauraw, I wasn’t intentionally mocking you (it just worked out that way). When you said “I know I know, but he asks so little” I assumed you were wearing it the way he prefers rather than your own preference to please him.

    You might as well cut it shorter and make ME happy.

    cranky, hope you suffer no long-term effects. Heal up.

  718. cranky Says:

    Well, my insurance company is now 54 hours past the time they said they would return my call. This is turning into so much fun I can barely stand it.

    The meds are kinda nice though except for the side effect weird dreams like the one in which I was attacked by a bunch of house cats. Why couldn’t I have a weird dream in which I’m attacked by Jessica Alba and Jennifer Anniston?

  719. lauraw Says:

    It’s the same dream, cranky.

    You should call the insurance co. back as soon as possible, since they’re probably waiting for some bullshit date to elapse so they don’t have to honor your claim.

    Take the rep’s name, and write down the time and date. They do keep records of conversations that they can review.

    I am a former insurance agent. Like 50% of the inhabitants of Connecticut.

    Seriously. Don’t ever come here. It’s bad.

  720. Wickedpinto Says:

    Take the rep’s name, and write down the time and date. They do keep records of conversations that they can review.

    Any phone conversation about something important consists of me doing that.

    And any follow up consists of me saying something like “Listen EFFER!!! THIS is who handled my case, so you get me in touch with them! or shut up!!!”

    Then they start to yell at me, and I hang up, and they call me back, and I hang up as soon as I hear a human voice.

    If they call me a third time, I let them know I will report them to BBB. A friend of mine was a credit consultant, and I guess there are rules.

    Ever wonder why every single harrasing phone call and mail comes from a firm with a different name? They juggle eachother to dodge the laws.

  721. Dave in Texas Says:

    I am a former insurance agent. Like 50% of the inhabitants of Connecticut.

    I’ve been learning a lot about insurance lately (the holding company that bought my company a few years ago has a very large insurance portfolio).

    So I get to see the numbers, financial statements.

    This thing called “float”, well, that shit just rocks.

  722. nicedeb Says:

    Cranky, your blog’s comment thingy still isn’t working.

  723. cranky Says:

    nicedeb, I just took off the “must insert name and email” thingy from the dashboard and I think that was the last of the restrictions on comments. I don’t understand it.

    All the insurance people called me today — at about the same time too. The other driver’s insurance company is assuming liability so my insurer is stepping to the side. My insurer did prepare an estimate on the repair bill that was higher than Farmers’ estimate. I am supposed to receive a check in a few days. Anything over the estimate is being picked up by Farmers and they are taking care of the rental car bill also.

    Medical stuff is different though. I’m supposed to tell them when I am finished seeing doctors about the accident and they will send me a lump sum payment, missed wages (I’m salaried so I wonder how that works out), out of pocket medical, and pain and suffering. How do they determine pain and suffering?

    I’m keeping notes lauraw, just like you said. Not the last time I was in Conneticut, but shortly before Desert Storm I got recalled at Thanksgiving and I’m hustling back to my base thinking we’re going to war and I got stopped on I95 for doing 78 in a 65 I guess. They cut me some slack on the speed so I wouldn’t get a reckless driving citation which lowered my bill to $180. Nice uniforms your state troopers have in Connecticut. Plus she was plenty cute for a cop.

  724. cranky Says:

    nicedeb, it is crashing on me now too. Maybe a different template will work.

  725. cranky Says:

    Coffee Cup theme comments works. Sidebar looks like crap but comment thingy works.

  726. pattyann Says:

    Dave, please fix the link on your site to kevlarchick site. It’s brokey.

  727. pattyann Says:

    Cranky, I can’t comment at your site either.

    KC, thanks for being the community bulletin board :)

  728. 9ef64cc15a6b0495776288e099e6555e Says:

    9ef64cc15a6b0495776288e099e6555e

    9ef64cc15a6b0495776288e099e6555e

  729. cranky Says:

    pattyann – even with the coffee cup theme you can’t comment?

  730. pattyann Says:

    I tried twice, cranky, and no go.

  731. daveintexas Says:

    ok, link fixed.

    sometimes these intarwebs confuse me

  732. cranky Says:

    PattyAnn, even I can’t comment. I think I’ll let the domain registration die and just put one up on WordPress. Mostly the blog thing is just an easy place to store links to blogs I visit ocassionally or more often.

    Of course, I can’t remember my WordPress ID or password either. I musta bumped my head.

  733. Gov.UA Says:

    Gov.UA

    Gov.UA – http://gov.ua/

  734. wiserbud Says:

    Does spam count in our drive for 1000? I guess it kind of has to, doesn’t it?

  735. daveintexas Says:

    Uncomfortable shoes suck.

  736. Wickedpinto Says:

    Look at it this way wiser, if we are getting spam, that means we are making an impact.

    And the goal doesn’t end at 1K, That is just the first step to comment domination.

  737. Wickedpinto Says:

    Not to mention, I would like to see the sitemeter, and the lifetime stats chart.

  738. kevlarchick Says:

    Obviously Dave’s bad link to my site was on purpose. Bastid!

    In the meantime, I’ll be on vacation all next week at the beach, so my prolific postings will stop for about 10 days.

  739. cranky Says:

    The beach? Who goes to the beach in June? The French, that’s who.

  740. cranky53 Says:

    Let’s see if that avatar thingy works with a different name.

  741. Wickedpinto Says:

    I don’t know If I liked this before.

    Just click the play button.

    The most powerful song from the 80′s.

    So powerful it used to play on the FRIGGEN RAP/HOUSE channel when I was a kid.

  742. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC during your unexpected hiatus, I hope you eat drink and be merry

  743. Michael Says:

    Hope you have a great vacation, KC.

  744. wiserbud Says:

    The cross-linking was pretty impressive today. Nice Deb blew by 10,000 visits so fast she couldn;t even take a second and celebrate the moment.

    So here’s to you, Nice Deb. Congrats, girl. Nice work. Keep it up and someday you may be invited to the big table at Ace’s!

  745. Wickedpinto Says:

    2 mainpages at Ace’s and a cross-link via Ace from Allah. In about 5 hours.

    Thats good stuff, If only I had a teenage kid to do research for me, Thats it, I’m adopting a kid, and shackling him to a computer until I get an instalanche!

  746. cranky Says:

    WP, sounds like you got hits-envy.

  747. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m just modifying my blogging model.

  748. nicedeb Says:

    My daughter Becky found that because, she and her older sister, and their friends are Big Will Ferrell fans, and love his Harry Caray impersonation. So she found that at youtube when she was actually looking for Will Ferrell, watched it, and showed it to me several weeks ago.

    I wanted to post it right away but was having trouble posting videos through youtube, and just gave up.

    When I finally figured out another way to post videos (I really am so GREEN) I remembered that one and posted it. It took a few days for people to really notice it, though.

    I really need to thank Ace for doing that.

  749. geoff Says:

    Back when we lived in SoCal, my wife took acting classes at this small, weird little theater in Orange County. She ended up getting a part in one of their plays. The narrator in the play, who didn’t manage to get an actual acting part? Will Ferrell.

    She says that he was hilarious during rehearsals, always cracking jokes using his narrator’s microphone.

  750. Wickedpinto Says:

    I forget the award that he recieved back when, but in his acceptence speech I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off for thanking his wife cuz she has a great tight little ass. He even made the two hands gripping gesture.

    That was hillarious.

  751. daveintexas Says:

    I wonder if KC got eaten by a shark?

    I sure hope not. That would pretty much ruin your vacation right there.

  752. Wickedpinto Says:

    Any shark screwing with KC would get a plug in the bean. I bet she sshowers and swims strapping.

  753. kevlarchick Says:

    No sharks. But we caught a darling stingray. Of course we set the little angel free immediately. Lots of swimming in and getting beat up by the ocean. My kid actually used my beloved blade to cut up squid and shrimp to bait his nasty hooks. I will leave the blade as it is, polluted and germy. Good for bad guys.

    Still can’t get used to that salt water taste. Ick! And lord what it does to my hair and skin; I was gritty all week. But no makeup, bra, shoes, or jewelry for a week. Nice tradeoff.

  754. Wickedpinto Says:

    But no makeup, bra, shoes, or jewelry for a week. Nice tradeoff.

    To quote wiser, “WHERS THE FRIGGEN PAYPALL BUTTON!!!”

  755. Balance Sheet Says:

    I’ve Been Tagged

    In a car accident yesterday, had the snot knocked out of me, given some serious medications and I’ve gotten tagged by Nice Deb. What did I do to deserve this chain of calamaties?
    My answers:
    Tagging Questions:
    1) Name your favorite band and sin…

  756. daveintexas Says:

    But no makeup, bra, shoes, or jewelry for a week. Nice tradeoff.

    Bare feet and bare boobage…

    I’m sorry, what were you saying? Oh, glad you weren’t eaten by a shark.

  757. wiserbud Says:

    But no makeup, bra, shoes, or jewelry for a week.

    I do the same thing when I go on vacation. It’s so….. liberating, isn’t it?

  758. kevlarchick Says:

    wiser, you may need that man-bra on 24/7. Don’t want a bad back on top of everything else.

  759. PattyAnn Says:

    wiser’s manning up now, KC. He’s studying Iron Crotch Kung Fu

  760. wiserbud Says:

    Hey, I know my rock-hard, perfectly sculpted pecs are large, but my back is plenty strong enough to carry the weight.

    It’s my shoulders I worry about, having to lift these mighty guns of mine every day.

  761. PattyAnn Says:

    “mighty guts of mine”??
    Made ya look!

  762. cranky Says:

    Uhm, # 762?

  763. Wickedpinto Says:

    If wiser ever stops swimming his laps, he might be able to offer up something worth reading here.

    Most everyone knows I’m out of stuff right now, or rather, I just can’t motivate myself to write anything acceptable, and now wiser is occupied with his pic’s and his updates, he’s sluffing.

  764. daveintexas Says:

    I feel sexy today.

    I just felt like saying that.

  765. Wickedpinto Says:

    *feels dave*

    Yes, yes youdo.

  766. Don Carne Says:

    You know I hardly come in here and what do I find when I do come in? Wickedpinto feeling up DiT. It’s disturbing I tell ya. I gotta go shower.

  767. daveintexas Says:

    Easy there big fella. That stuff may work with the chicks but I ain’t going for it.

  768. wiserbud Says:

    I’ll ….uh…. I’ll be in……. ummm, no, never mind.

    I’m good.

  769. kevlarchick Says:

    WP, I thought I was getting to know you a little.

    Apparently not.

  770. PattyAnn Says:

    WP, just what does sexy feel like? Explain.

  771. wiserbud Says:

    Think thought might be appropriate right about now.

  772. kevlarchick Says:

    You boys are Bringing Sexy Back.

  773. Wickedpinto Says:

    I LOVE that song, it’s not as good as I wanna F your sister (NSFW requires login)

    I can’t find the bob and tom, or the mancow performances, which are actually even more funny, cuz the “F” instead of the word, is actually more entertaining in my opinion.

    Being absolutely and horribly crude, while trying to ACT all proper because you say “eff” instead of the actual word is a good mix, but I can’t find a link to it.

    CURSES!

  774. Wickedpinto Says:

    Okay, this is kinda disturbing, and really makes me question the morality of Youtube.

    “Search Results for “”I wanna eff your sister””New on YouTube
    Ten Will Tour the World For a Year Audition Now For The Smirnoff Ten!
    Show Us How You Shake It Win $10,000 and Other Cool Prizes!
    Stressed Out?! Watch NEW One Less Stress TV And learn how to deal with stress everyday! Display: Sort by: Relevance | Date Added | View Count | Rating
    Did you mean: “I want off your sister”?
    No Videos found for ‘”I wanna eff your sister”‘

    So I clicked the “I want to off your sister” link, and I get

    “No Videos found for ‘”I want off your sister”‘”

    So, there are no videos in the search for “I want to off your sister” but the youtube meta EXPECTS one?

    That just made me cringe.

  775. Dave in Texas Says:

    WP, just what does sexy feel like? Explain.

    Whatever he says, he’s just making shit up.

    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  776. Wickedpinto Says:

    Dave’s just gay.

  777. wiserbud Says:

    just gay?

    My friend, Dave is much more than “just” gay.

  778. wiserbud Says:

    heh. ^ 777th post. luckiest post of all.

  779. daveintexas Says:

    Oh, I’m not gay.

    A willingness to try new things does not necessarily mean it’s a lifestyle.

  780. Wickedpinto Says:

    Still gonna see you at next years summer camp dave?

  781. nicedeb Says:

    I don’t know what to say…

  782. cranky Says:

    DiT and WP, this is turning into a strange dance you two is having.

  783. daveintexas Says:

    you don’t know what to say?

  784. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC thinks a 9mm with a 3″ barrel has a kick?

    I thought she was more butch (in a good way) than that?

  785. Dave in Texas Says:

    I’m thinkin it was a Glock 26 instead of the 19. You know how light the damn things are with their plastic frames, they jump in my hand. The run of the mill 1911A1 hardly moves at all when I fire.

  786. PattyAnn Says:

    Miss me?

  787. kevlarchick Says:

    I don’t know anything about those numbers Dave. The Glock was light enough, but he kicked, unlike the last Glock I fired with the longer barrel.

    Butch? Me? Not even in a good way, WP.

  788. Wickedpinto Says:

    I saw the picture of you shooting in vegas.

    you have firm, yet supple hands. Clearly firm, yet also delicate, thought the nails frighten me.

    and a 1911 is the standard (I think) frame for the .45 acp (acp right dave?)

    The other numbers are models of glocks, I think one has a lightweight frame, the other has a more hearty one.

  789. daveintexas Says:

    oh crap, I posted links and the spam filter ate em.

    Yeah, glock 19 long, glock 26 short, 1911a1 standard Colt .45 design.

  790. daveintexas Says:

    somebody say something

  791. Wickedpinto Says:

    Why are texans so proud of their anti-federalist history, while simultaneously willing to express their PRO-US federal annexation?

    Cowardice? of the mexicans, or hypocracy?

  792. Wickedpinto Says:

    an interviewee is smoking in an office funded by federal funds, isn’t that illegal?

  793. Wickedpinto Says:

    ARGH!!!! completely Wrong BLOG!!!!

  794. daveintexas Says:

    Oh, you’re probably reading more into it than is necessary, although let’s face it, it is cool to be able to say we were a sovereign nation for 10 years…

    Texans of the day, Sam Houston included, rightly believed becoming part of the United States sealed Mexico from future claims. You’ll recall the US paid the government of Mexico 15MM for all territories lost, and another 7MM later in the Gadsden Purchase. No way Texans were going to be able to come up with all that jack on their own.

  795. PattyAnn Says:

    #795

    WP, Texan is a mind-set like no other.

  796. cranky Says:

    Anybody home?

  797. Wickedpinto Says:

    I am, but I’m kinda drunk.

  798. cranky Says:

    Another day, another dollar, huh? What have you got coming up for the Sunday morning cartoon?

  799. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m thinking about caving into mesa’s hornyness and maybe getting something from pixy.

    I’m thinking japanimation, I haven’t dug up this weeks, I have some in the queue but they don’t motivate right now, so I’m thinking of some of the more classic japanimation. Maybe a clip from vampyre hunter or something. The drawback to that, is I can’t give links to the entire movie and stuff, but I think many have seen most of them. Like fist of the northstar and stuff.

  800. geoff Says:

    I’m thinking of some of the more classic japanimation.

    I love anime. Just re-watched the first 2/3 of the Trigun series. Tonight it’s the first disc of Bleach.

    A little Neon Genesis Evangelion or RahXephon ought to warp people’s minds. Or how about Hellsing?

  801. Wickedpinto Says:

    You know geoff? there was a time that I thought I spoke japanese.

  802. Dave in Texas Says:

    Mushi mushi yanno ney. He-ro? Dis is de terephone guy.

  803. geoff Says:

    Japanese I have learned from watching anime (I’m making up the spellings here):

    hayaka: Hurry!
    masaka: No way, or It Can’t Be!
    so ka: I See [always said weightily]
    joto mateo: Wait a Minute!
    Yokai: Aye-Aye!
    komenesai: I’m Very (Deeply) Sorry
    ja na: See ya!
    kawaii: Cute

  804. kevlarchick Says:

    Dog days of summer. Sigh.

  805. Dave in Texas Says:

    I learned all my Japanese from watching Shogun and wandering around the Kyoto airport.

  806. Wickedpinto Says:

    Pretty close geoff, at least on the ones I recognize.

    hayaka: Hurry!
    Is Haiyaku

    so ka: I See [always said weightily]
    is “Soo ka” actually it might be “shiyoo” but that is really just for consistancy in roomanji “o” is “oh” but a double “oo” is “oh-ooh” thats probly always weighty, but the translation is close enough.

    joto mateo: Wait a Minute!
    Chotto Matte Yo.

    komenesai: I’m Very (Deeply) Sorry

    Gomen nasai, the litteral translation is odd,but I cant remember what it is, kinad like how “excuse me” “sumimasen” = living not, Sumimasu = to liven, sumimasen means not living, so you are apologizing for living I think.

    and Kawaii is dead on. I would call my girlfriend “yuubina” which is “elegant”

  807. geoff Says:

    Thanks, WP.

  808. lauraw Says:

    Hi sugarbritches.

  809. Dave in Texas Says:

    I’m feelin pretty froggy this morning.

  810. Wickedpinto Says:

    I HATE Puffy-ami-yumi. I actually met them. cuz a friend form the barracks was a HUGE fan, I think he might have been gay.

    But I LOVED this song by globe titled “face.” I think is AWESOME, in fact, I own 2 CD’s and my father, an old Beatles fan kept them for himself since I had the song on my puter, and he liked the song himself.

  811. Wickedpinto Says:

    I just thought I would include that link for the japanese thing.

  812. Wickedpinto Says:

    I LOVE jim croce

    And I think this vid is perfect.

    Just an image of jim, an image of his album, and the song playing from the turntable.

    I’m a retro kinda cat.

  813. Wickedpinto Says:

    A GREAT musician, and clearly a decent man, even if one of his best friends WAS arlo Guthrie.

  814. Dave in Texas Says:

    The guy that played acoustic lead with Jim, Maury somebody…I forget.. he was awesome.

  815. compos mentis Says:

    Hiya.

  816. kevlarchick Says:

    What does “I’m feeling froggy” mean, exactly? You feel like jumping? Croaking? Slimy?

  817. Inspirational Wedding Speeches And Toasts Says:

    Inspirational Wedding Speeches And Toasts

    Inspirational Wedding Speeches And Toasts

  818. Dave in Texas Says:

    Worked up, ready to get into it with somebody. Lookin for a fight.

  819. cranky Says:

    Comment spam here? Getting popular, KC.

  820. Dave in Texas Says:

    820.

    I’ve waited for this moment!

  821. PattyAnn Says:

    Almost forgot to chime in here.
    WP, what was that Japanese phrase you used in a post at Ace’s? Something about baby?

  822. Wickedpinto Says:

    Daijobu akachan = “everything is alright baby”
    Daijobu doesn’t have a clean translation that I know of, basicaly it’s “It’s all cool!” Or “Everythings alright” or “don’t worry” It’s the catch-all of “it’s all cool” in english tearms.
    Akachan is litteraly “baby.” It’s actually an offensive term most of the time, but japan has become so anglicized in many ways, that they get the vernacular.

  823. Sobek Says:

    Well I’m ready for the week-end. Who’s with me?

  824. geoff Says:

    WP: What are they saying when they say “Thanks for the food!”

    Ikimakine or something.

  825. Wickedpinto Says:

    “II” is basicaly “good”
    makine, doesn’t tickle with me right now, it might come back later, though it does sound familiar.

    Random inclusion:

    You know what the NON-roomanji name for “America” is?

    “Beikoku” Koku basicaly means “kingdom” but before I tell you what “bei” means, at least in the kanji, let me give you a bit of history.

    Japan is “NiPon” now, the syllables and words themselves don’t mean shit, but because japan DID get their written language from the chinese after the numerous conquests, and rebelions and conquests by the chinese, Japan was almost always Nipon even before those conquests.

    But they adopted the written language of the chinese/ kanji.

    They called china “chiukoku” or “chyieukoku” and Chiu = Central, and since they call china, “chiukoku” they are calling china “Central kingdom”

    Japan doesn’t define themselves as a kingdom, which I find interesting, because “nihon” =. . . . . and this I find interesting.

    “ni” the kanji of “ni” in the word “nihon” that is japan = origin, birth, start and beginning
    “Hon” = sun or book.

    The reason Japan is known as the land of the rising sun is not a japanese creation, but rather a chiokoku word, and kanji describing navigational directions. If you sail from China to Japan, you are sailing towards the rising sun, THAT is why Japan, is NiHon, or rather why the kanji’s for “nihon” are “origin of the sun” I found that fascinating.

    Anyways, The US is called “beikoku” in the kanji’s though not in word anymore.

    I already said that “koku” = kingdom, but I left out the “Bei”
    “Bei” = RICE! in kanji.

    Now that sounds like a meaningless nothing, however, the kanji for “bei” and “gohan” is the same.

    and all meals are commonly refered to as gohan. “assagohan,” is dinner, doesn’t matter if there is any rice in the meal, all food as a meal is called “rice” or rather depicted as rice either in the “gohan” verbal reference, or in the kanji, if written down.

    Basicaly, America, The United States of America, was previously refered to as “the kingdom of food.”

    I took pride in that bit of etymology.

  826. geoff Says:

    This might be the word: Itadakimasu

    The place I got it says that it is a polite way of saying “I receive this food,” but I always hear it said in a sing-song voice, and translated as “Thanks for the food!” Maybe the sing-song delivery comes from having it pounded into their heads as kids.

  827. Rosie Says:

    I know a little Chinese, myself:

    Ching chong ching ching chong ching!

  828. Wickedpinto Says:

    THATS why I didn’t recognize it geof.

    In general formal japanese ends with the verb. I can’t remember the exact form of words that leads to “itadakimasu” but thats why it tickled.

    For the most part, almost always, the “u” in the “masu” portion of a word, is not expressed as an “ooh” it is rather a sort of exhalation.

    For instant, if you watch cartoons in japanese, you have heard “Dess” but it isn’t “Dess” it’s “desu”

    “ikimasu” isn’t pronounced “ee-kee-mah-soo” but rather “ee-kee-mahSS”

    and the singsong aspect, is partly because the whole languge is built on single syllabic enunciation. For example, you hear someone unfamiliar with the language say “hai” it sounds like “hi” but eventually your ear catches the variation in inflection, and it’s VERY mild, but completely second nature to the japanese.

    Example, I mentioned the double vowels, but there are also double consenants, as long as the consenant is “n”

    “Hana” I THINK means flower. If I recall correctly (like I said, it’s been a decade, give me some room here)
    “Hanna” means nose.

    all of the a’s are “ah” and all of the “n”‘s are “nhn” (mostly through the nose)

    Anyways, the language itself lends itself to a rather tight inflection, and no matter who you are if you don’t offer the same inflection to each hira related syllable, you break the flow of language, which makes you sound like you have a slur.

    I think I already linked the song by “globe.”

  829. Wickedpinto Says:

    Oh, I meant to include this in the “hai” thing.

    If an untrained american (very little training is required) “hai” sounds like “hi” but so you realize that it’s actualy “hah-aye” said rather quickly and in the same souther lazy melange that military or truckers or other transient professionals develop.

    “yes”/”hai” is so common, that it is lazily delivered, so it isn’t easily distinguished form “hi”

  830. BrewFan Says:

    Hey.

  831. daveintexas Says:

    BOOGER

  832. cranky Says:

    # 832.

    I got nothing, certainly no boogers.

  833. Tushar D Says:

    But why go through all that? Why not just oral sex?

    “When a man is sucking my d!ck, he can pretend it’s something else.
    When he is eating a$$, he knows it’s a$$!”

    I felt the need to throw it in. That line is funny.

  834. wiserbud Says:

    When a man is sucking my d!ck, he can pretend it’s something else.

    Like what? a hot dog? A freeze-pop? a cigar?

  835. kevlarchick Says:

    Eww! Fellas!

  836. Dave in Texas Says:

    So this is what it’s like to drive straight into a bar ditch.

  837. wiserbud Says:

    The “give you what you want” thread at IB broke 1000 comments yesterday. And we’ve slowed to a crawl here. And that one has to keep being bumped, while this thread is always at the top, thanks to the fine blogging efforts of the lovely Kevlarchick.

    Just a few months to go before 1/1/08. Can we make 1000 comments? Hell, that’s almost a given. Should we set our sights a little higher? Perhaps once we get past 1000 comments, we can strive to always be at least one ahead of the IB thread.

    Who’s with me?

  838. cranky Says:

    Well, here’s 838. Who’s got 839?

  839. Wickedpinto Says:

    I might offer a humber 839, but I think Anka is dedicated to the guys getting shirts or something like that.

  840. training turbulence Says:

    turbulence training

    book training turbulence

  841. wiserbud Says:

    well, I guess every little bit helps.

    Honestly, has anyone ever bought anything that they learned about through blog spam? or even e-mail spam, for that matter?

  842. kevlarchick Says:

    This morning I sent a fairly ugly, bitchy email and it went to the WRONG person. It went to the most wrongest person it could possibly go to.

    Now I feel like crap and am trying to make amends. But words change everything.

  843. PattyAnn Says:

    Oh no, KC. I think we’ve all had that happen. Not a good thing.
    Let’s talk about Mother Theresa instead, k?

  844. daveintexas Says:

    BOOGER.

    I say 1500 by New Year’s

  845. Wickedpinto Says:

    I did the same thing not that long ago KC, I sent an E-mail where the full text was “how the eff do I know you!?!” in response to an e-mail.

    Well it turns out that I know that person, because she is my uncles wife, and a very nice lady who happened to use the wrong e-mail to contact me.

    Man, do I gots me some bridgebuilding.

  846. Lipstick Says:

    Same here, KC.

    At my first job in an advertising agency I put a letter from my boss to Client A in an envelope addressed to Client B. This put my boss in very hot water with Client B because he had assured her he ONLY worked on her account.

    I found another job right before they fired me.

  847. Michael Says:

    At my first job in an advertising agency . . .

    You had of JOB???

    That narrows down my list of theories about your mysterious cruise-at-any-time lifestyle.

    1. Inherited wealth.

    2. Former movie star/business mogul at a young age.

    3. Rich first husband and generous divorce decree.

  848. Michael Says:

    BTW, I still have one bedroom with private bath available for the Innocent Bystanders First Annual Super Bowl Party™. Geezer took one; Dave has declined the other (presumably because of silly concerns about Mrs. Dave’s personal safety.)

    So, it’s open for KC, Lipstick, Wickedpinto, or whoever amongst the IB regulars asks first.

  849. Lipstick Says:

    3. Rich first husband and generous divorce decree.

    HA!! Not at all. He took from me, remember?

  850. Wickedpinto Says:

    So, it’s open for KC, Lipstick, Wickedpinto, or whoever amongst the IB regulars asks first.
    Cleaning up empty casings, that are blocking your drainage, cleaning up empty casings that are blocking your drainage, or cleaning up armed bombs that are blocking your dainage.

    You need to expand that list michael.

  851. Wickedpinto Says:

    Besides, all I need is a back yard with a privacy fense, and a hearty shrub.

  852. Wickedpinto Says:

    How about you include Feisty and comps on that list? That would require a proffessional cleaning company to take care of the afteraffects.

  853. cranky Says:

    KC has an opinon of Maria Sharapova’s ass.

    I’m still in my bunk.

  854. Wickedpinto Says:

    grrr slap
    Cranky,
    and grr slap again.

    She’s a naughty girl and needs to be spanked. . . .with the INSIDE OF MY HIPS!!!

  855. Dave in Texas Says:

    presumably because of silly concerns about Mrs. Dave’s personal safety

    Mrs. D in T won’t be making the run with me. She sends her regards and asks that you keep me away from the bong.

  856. Dave in Texas Says:

    regarding Maria Sharipova’s ass,

    Я ударил бы его

  857. cranky Says:

    DiT, does that translate into “if you tried to bounce quarters off her ass you’d break the quarters”?

  858. Dave in Texas Says:

    If you run it back through the translator it comes back as “I would strike that”,

    which is a roughly accurate translation ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo

  859. cranky Says:

    I’m a babeling idiot. Insert Homer Simpson duh sound effect.

    Yes, she is hittable. And the accent. Don’t get me started.

  860. kevlarchick Says:

    and she has legs right up to her neck. Oh, the splendor of youth.

  861. Dave in Texas Says:

    They say youth is wasted on the young.

    They’re right.

  862. cranky Says:

    Do you suppose she’s bendy>/a>?

  863. Wickedpinto Says:

    KC?

    She only has legs up to her neck, when her knee’s are next to her ears.

  864. kevlarchick Says:

    It’s an expression WP. And no apostrophe in knees.

  865. daveintexas Says:

    Knees by the ears is an expression too.

    And I’ll be in my bunk.

  866. PattyAnn Says:

    kc, WP know’s there’s no’s apostrophe’s in’s any’s word’s he’s use’s. He just likes using them.
    #866

  867. Wickedpinto Says:

    Always with the friggen apostraph’e’s you’s two.

  868. Wickedpinto Says:

    It’s less about deliberation, and more about laziness, but there are times when I wanna flip a finger at the grammatriarchy.

  869. nicedeb Says:

    Maybe someday he’ll figure out how to spell ‘definitely’, too.

    We can alway’s hope.

  870. Wickedpinto Says:

    OPPRESSIVE GRAMMATRIARCHY at work.

  871. Wickedpinto Says:

    HELP! HELP! I’m being oppressed! (spelling) Awww, DAMN!

  872. wiserbud Says:

    Ya know what this place needs?

    More links.

  873. Wickedpinto Says:

    But they need to be unique, how about this? I only stole it from betsy’s page.

    Laughing baby, I THINK the baby is laughing while he is tearing up the michigan alumni rag

    I’m not sure.

  874. Wickedpinto Says:

    Something that is funny?

    KC has an automatic link to “previous pages”

    Thats just fucking funny.

  875. daveintexas Says:

    You know.

    A martini in a plastic cup isn’t quite as good as a cold glass.

    But being by the pool makes up for it.

  876. Wickedpinto Says:

    I fucking hate gin.

  877. cranky Says:

    KC has an automatic link to “previous pages”

    What about categories! Where are the categories?

  878. kevlarchick Says:

    *looking for these strange items WP and cranky are speaking of*

    I need a blog handler.

  879. cranky Says:

    Only 1221 comments to go to crack that 1,000 comment barrier. Since Ace is down and Michael is seriously depressed over the impotence of Michigan football this seems to be the “in” place. Let’s get cracking on those comments.

  880. Dave in Texas Says:

    I wrote a post about boobies yesterday.

    It made me giggle.

  881. eddiebear Says:

    WP:

    Try vodka instead.

  882. lauraw Says:

    Hair Report:

    Hair straight-slightly wavy in previous years. Hair has been trending towards curly in the last couple years. Fight it down each day with hairdryer heat and products.

    Went to bed with wet hair last night. 3 AM woke up wanting H2O, but had forgotten to put a glass on the bedstand.

    Went to get a glass of water and looked at myself in the mirror in passing.

    Head looked like somebody shook the shit out of Shirley Temple.

    End Report.

  883. Wickedpinto Says:

    AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

    FloraW is trying to sabotage the effort!!!

    Wait,

    WHERE is the hair straight-slightly curly?

    Okay, that was kinda wrong on my part.

  884. Wickedpinto Says:

    Hate Vodka, I like more complex flavors, thats why I’m scotch and other whiskeys for my liquor tastes, there are a few sweet licqeurs that I like, like amaretto and midori, but they must be heavily watered. In general, I prefer beers, and I prefer stouts, and and ports.

  885. mesablue Says:

    Where’s pony?

  886. wiserbud Says:

    Where’s pony?

    Getting her hair done, probably.

  887. lauraw Says:

    Invoking pony is a crapshoot.

    Never know who you’re gonna get.

    *stares accusingly at Mesa*

  888. Dave in Texas Says:

    Head looked like somebody shook the shit out of Shirley Temple.

    like a Venomous Harridan?

  889. kevlarchick Says:

    laura, let it curl wild! My hair is poker straight and I’ve always kinda envied the craziness of curly hair.

  890. Dave in Texas Says:

    *ponders growing mine shoulder length again*

    Nah. It would add 15 minutes to my morning routine. Almost tripling the amount of time I spend getting ready for the day.

  891. nicedeb Says:

    I’ve always wished I had curly hair.

  892. nicedeb Says:

    Oh hey, I wrote a post about a man in a diaper, today, DIT.
    I giggled like a retard.

  893. Wickedpinto Says:

    ND,

    Never had curley hair, but I got a Wave, that is apparent after only a couple inches.

    I have unruly hair in the worst way, It looks like shit short, and it looks like shit long.

    ARGH!!!

  894. lauraw Says:

    I’ve let it go curly wild a few times lately to test it out, but it’s so messy-looking I can’t stand it.

    Only once did it look cute and neat (nice fat spiral curls) the whole day, and I haven’t been able to reproduce those results. I was by the ocean that day, could that be the reason?

  895. kevlarchick Says:

    Well there you go. Move to the beach.

  896. lauraw Says:

    More of a lake person.

  897. Wickedpinto Says:

    I’m an “ocean lake” person.

    The great lakes, especially, the greatest of lakes, RocK!!!

  898. Bathroom Wall Says:

    what about Greg Lake? ELP was AWESOME!

  899. wiserbud Says:

    What, nobody wants comment #900?

  900. wiserbud Says:

    Okay, I’ll take it.

  901. lauraw Says:

    SPLA-DAM.

    Hey nonny nonny boo boo yeah

    Skoodly voo, skoodly voo, pip bop slam

    shigga wagga shigga wagga UH.

  902. lauraw Says:

    …but enough about my day. What’s up?

  903. daveintexas Says:

    My headache’s gone. So I got that going for me.

    Which is nice.

  904. Lipstick Says:

    Hi all.

    I’m back from Canada and so glad to be home.

  905. Wickedpinto Says:

    Hi all.

    I’m back from Canada and so glad to be home.

    cuz now you can be treated for the abdominal infection you suffered, after your canadian appendectomy?

  906. lauraw Says:

    Hi LD!
    *waving*

    Was wondering where you been.

  907. kevlarchick Says:

    Lips, post some about your trip over at IB. Or here.

  908. Dave in Texas Says:

    welcome back Lipstick. Join us as we jam the pedal to the floor and run this thing up to 1000!!

    YEAAAAARGH!

  909. Lipstick Says:

    You guys are so great.

  910. daveintexas Says:

    shut up you. take some zinc, get well

  911. Retired Geezer Says:

    *looks around*

    Hey, another Blog Wisconsin.

  912. Wickedpinto Says:

    I think the old broads need some extra time to type, until they can find a proper arthitis medication.

    I’m not sure, I’m just guessing.

  913. Lipstick Says:

    Hey Pinto, my actual age is 27. I took Geezer’s quiz. So there.

  914. daveintexas Says:

    I rang out at 73.

    Highway mileage though.

  915. Michael Says:

    like a Venomous Harridan?

    Yes. Like Medusa.

    Just plain evil.

    Hey Pinto, my actual age is 27.

    That quiz did not adjust for the gravitational effects of massive feet.

  916. Wickedpinto Says:

    That quiz did not adjust for the gravitational effects of massive feet.

    Or massive….

    *oomph!* why am I being stifled?

    I was just gonna say she probably has massive…
    *oomph*

    mrphs.

  917. Wickedpinto Says:

    If only you guys were present at columbia today.

  918. PattyAnn Says:

    #918 was always a lucky number for me.

  919. pajama momma Says:

    Me! Me! Oh pick me!

  920. pajama momma Says:

    I really wanted 920 though

  921. daveintexas Says:

    seven always was my lucky number

    Ahhhh sweet mystery of life at last I’ve found youuuuuu

  922. mesablue Says:

    Where am I?

  923. mesablue Says:

    How did I get here?

  924. mesablue Says:

    Is that a cheeseburger?

  925. mesablue Says:

    mmphmmpnnmph — guud!

  926. pajama momma Says:

    I’m a gardenburger girl……….unless it’s a bubbaburger

  927. mesablue Says:

    Cheese.

  928. mesablue Says:

    Burger.

  929. mesablue Says:

    With.

  930. mesablue Says:

  931. mesablue Says:

    Cheeese.

  932. pajama momma Says:

    pickles

  933. pajama momma Says:

    I like pickles on my cheeseburgers

  934. Rosetta Says:

    FIRST!!!!

  935. pajama momma Says:

    and mustard

  936. nicedeb Says:

    Day-um

    Mesablue accuses me of commenting while drunk!

  937. Rosetta Says:

    You have to be a pretty big loser to comment on a blog that doesn’t exist, Nice Deb.

  938. eddiebear Says:

    In tributeto Ace,

    Hobo 500!

  939. Wickedpinto Says:

    Rosetta?

    Chill on THAT kind of insult.

  940. daveintexas Says:

    eb, is that Latin?

  941. lauraw Says:

    I heard Cheeseburger In Paradise yesterday on the ride home and it was in my head the rest of the night.

    I like mine with lettuce and tomato
    heinz 57 and french fried potatoes

  942. pajama momma Says:

    I forgot tomato. Tomatoes are good. And wash it down with a beer. nummers

  943. Wickedpinto Says:

    That is disgusting PJ.

  944. Dave in Texas Says:

    Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw is one of my all time favs from Jimmy B

  945. Lipstick Says:

    there’s a surprise.

  946. pjmomma Says:

    It’s delicious Pinto!

  947. Dave in Texas Says:

    yeah, I suppose that was somewhat predictable.

  948. mesablue Says:

    That was just a bunch of stuff my avatar would say.

    He’s easily amused.

  949. pjmomma Says:

    Dave, where’s the tangerine speedo?

  950. Cuffy Meigs Says:

    quit looking at me, pjmomma.

  951. pjmomma Says:

    why cuffy? feeling guilty about something?

  952. daveintexas Says:

    tangerine isn’t really my color.

  953. cranky Says:

    I had 953 in the pool. Pay up.

  954. wiserbud Says:

    Dammit. Missed by one.

    Oh well, guess I’ll just have to fall back on my successful run to the top in the AoS football pool….
    .
    .
    .
    .

    DAMMIT!!!

  955. lauraw Says:

    Uhhh, yah. Same here. Yikes.

    I liked last year’s pool better ;)

  956. Tushar D Says:

    zzzzzzzzzzzzz

  957. markofando Says:

    Want to start your private office arms race right now?

    I just got my own USB rocket launcher :-) Awsome thing.

    Plug into your computer and you got a remote controlled office missile launcher with 360 degrees horizontal and 45 degree vertival rotation with a range of more than 6 meters – which gives you a coverage of 113 square meters round your workplace.
    You can get the gadget here: http://tinyurl.com/2qul3c

    Check out the video they have on the page.

    Cheers

    Marko Fando

  958. pjmomma Says:

    Inka binka bottle of ink
    The cork fell out
    And you stink

  959. daveintexas Says:

    courage

  960. lauraw Says:

    porridge

  961. daveintexas Says:

    porridge?

    That’s yankee for oatmeal, ain’t it?

  962. kevlarchick Says:

    I thought I read something about you wearing a speedo, Dave.

    *looks around warily*

  963. PattyAnn Says:

    Yankee for grits = pig feed

  964. Dave in Texas Says:

    me?

    I would look ridiculous in one of those.

  965. cranky Says:

    But Dave, wearing a speedo would make for ridiculing gold! Gold, I tell you.

    You can compare notes with Bart on the personal grooming, if you know what I mean, requirements for speedo wear.

  966. lauraw Says:

    Not sure what porridge is. I don’t think it’s oats, though.

  967. daveintexas Says:

    so, I shouldn’t look like I’m smuggling a muskrat in my shorts cranky? This takes trimmin?

  968. daveintexas Says:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porridge

    according to the communist bastards, it is in fact, an oat dish.

    I remember having this mingau stuff with breakfast in Curitiba.

  969. lauraw Says:

    Why do they call them Speedos, anyway? Do they make you faster?

  970. daveintexas Says:

    They make me faster. When the dogs are after me, I run like the wind.

  971. geoff Says:

    When the dogs are after me, I run like the wind.

    Like an antelope…
    Like a gazelle…
    Like a little dik-dik…

  972. daveintexas Says:

    how did you know about my dik dik?

  973. lauraw Says:

    Outdoors in crisp Autumn air, at dusk, with a beer and happy funny family company crackin’ jokes as it slowly turns to night. Don’t get much better than that for me.

  974. kevlarchick Says:

    amen sista. If only Fall would arrive here. Record highs this weekend. So done with it!

  975. pjmomma Says:

    I envy those who live where there are seasons. I really would love to experience them. *sigh*
    I want crisp autumn air. I want turtlenecks and fires in the fireplace. I want hot chocolate on a brisk day. I want to make snowmen. I want to go snowboarding again.
    Places that have seasons don’t work well with hubby’s occupation.

  976. wiserbud Says:

    I want crisp autumn air. I want turtlenecks and fires in the fireplace. I want hot chocolate on a brisk day. I want to make snowmen. I want to go snowboarding again.

    Yeah, that stuff is great. For about a weekend. Then reality sets in. Winter sucks.

  977. kevlarchick Says:

    Snow in December is always beautiful. After that, it is a filthy scourge.

  978. pjmomma Says:

    Can I just have my fantasty? please? HUH? Just let me romanticize winter.

  979. daveintexas Says:

    We got six inches of snow on Easter weekend this year. Strangest thing I ever saw, and those of you who know me know that my list of strange things I’ve seen is pretty impressive.

  980. pjmomma Says:

    Quit trying to impress me dave! You had me at………well, when you got a pool.

  981. eddiebear Says:

    Easter in STL this year was about 40 degrees. We had to wear our heavy coats to the Egg Hunt for my daughter.

  982. eddiebear Says:

    I really hate winter.

  983. lauraw Says:

    Hubby has a fire going in the fireplace right now and the house has that wonderful smell.

    Will do more yardwork in the crisp air tomorrow. Found a maple leaf in the grass today that was the most amazing fluorescent red and orange. It looked like it had been cut from tie-dyed construction paper.

    Really do love snow, especially the first few.

    Food tastes better in Winter.

    But Winter is too long here. February is bitter, and in March when it’s sleeting grey solid icy shit from the sky we’re all about ready to eat a bullet.

  984. cranky Says:

    Here in Alabama there are only two seasons: football season and then what’s left over after that. I do miss the seasonal changes. It last snowed enough to cover the ground here in Montgomery in February or March of 1997. Gone in about two hours. Contrast that with 11 snow storms in 11 weeks during 1993 – 1994 while I was stationed in Massachusetts. I kind of miss the change in seasons.

    Kids who like to be out of school for snow days would like the criteria for school closings here: the threat of a snow flurry will shut down the schools.

  985. pjmomma Says:

    See how romantic Lauraw makes winter? Till February anyways.

  986. lauraw Says:

    House smells like smoke.

    I saw a red leaf.

    Snow’s cool. Makes ya hungry.

    March is nasty.

    You shush now toots. I be lying upon the shoes.

  987. Be a Good Daughter Says:

    Cool comment.
    I guess you’ll like my blog..
    Sayonara

  988. pjmomma Says:

    Snow’s cold, red noses
    mom says don’t eat yellow snow
    my brother’s a jerk

  989. Dave in Texas Says:

    This is the week y’all. 1000 comments at KC’s non-blog blog.

    What will it be?

    Who will post it?

    Why am I asking you?

    The suspense is killing me.

  990. wiserbud Says:

    Pretty for a week
    Then cold and shit lasts too long
    Northeast winters suck

  991. pjmomma Says:

    Southeast winter’s mild
    flip-flops and painted toenails
    Oh look! My tan line

  992. Dave in Texas Says:

    Real winter up north
    March comes in like a lion
    excrement sandwich

  993. cranky Says:

    pjmomma has got something against yellow. Racist!

    Damn. I really wanted to be number 999. Sigh.

  994. Be a Good Daughter Says:

    Thanks your comment is delightful.
    I like your blog..
    thank you again

  995. wiserbud Says:

    Wait, that’s not a haiku! KC, you should ban Be a Good Daughter for going off-topic!

    Northeast Weather Blues. A Haiku.

    Summer is too short
    And winter is much too long
    Really, why live here?

  996. Dave in Texas Says:

    Winter Ember

    snow snow snow snow snow
    hate this mother*&#-in snow
    damn I hate this crap

  997. pjmomma Says:

    Reply to wiserbud

    First snow Christmas morn
    Flakes on happy children’s tongues
    ooops! That was birdshit

  998. wiserbud Says:

    One thousand comments
    At one time seemed unlikely
    Is today the day?

  999. Lipstick Says:

    Today! Today!

  1000. wiserbud Says:

    DING!DING!DING! 1000 comments!!!!

    Kevlarchick’s fun blog
    reaches one thousand comments
    without tits for hits!

  1001. Dare to Dream! « The Hostages Says:

    [...] Dare to Dream! 1000 comments at the best blog ever created! [...]

  1002. mesablue Says:

    Someone needs to nominate this place for best blog — http://2007.weblogawards.org/

  1003. daveintexas Says:

    without tits for hits!

    It’s not like I didn’t try to get her to go along with that.

  1004. kevlarchick Says:

    *looks around with tears in my eyes*

    Darlings. Thank you. This is fun.

    Blogging is teh fun
    when folks are kind and funny
    a sweet online world.

  1005. Be a Good Daughter Says:

    Hello your article is stunning.
    I will definitely read your diary..
    See ya

  1006. pjmomma Says:

    be a good daughter
    does not get a good haiku
    wiserbud is right

  1007. wiserbud Says:

    Darlings. Thank you. This is fun.

    No, thank you.

  1008. PattyAnn Says:

    Thanks, KC. This was fun. I would’ve been #1,000 but I was out of town.

  1009. mesablue Says:

    Thanks, KC. This was fun. I would’ve been #1,000 but I was out of town. in my trailer

    Fixed that for ya.

  1010. nicedeb Says:

    Sooooooooo…..

    Now what?

  1011. Dave in Texas Says:

    we do two thousand
    with comments that titillate
    see what I did there?

  1012. John Madden Says:

    Ya see what Dave did there was he ran out into the flat and buttonhooked with the word “titillate” so you can see he was making a reference to the word tit he used in his little whachacallit jap poem there and BOOM! First down.. Brett Farve coulda threaded that one right to him.

  1013. nicedeb Says:

    Who’s Brett Farve?

  1014. John Madden Says:

    I just talk about him all the time. I don’t have to spell his name correctly. It’s some kinda goofy catholic name.

  1015. wiserbud Says:

    there’s not enough blogs
    spread among this crazy group
    keep KC’s alive!

  1016. John Says:

    without tits for hits!

    Even I would like to see that. Well, only if they’re perky and not droopy that is.

  1017. eddiebear Says:

    8)

  1018. eddiebear Says:

    Well, for all of this talk about no “T&ts for Hits”, there is a lot of talk about it. NTTAWWT

  1019. eddiebear Says:

    John Madden:
    And Brett would be even more mobile if he didn’t have you hanging on his junk every game.

  1020. eddiebear Says:

    BTW, today is Evel Knievel’s 69th birthday.

  1021. pjmomma Says:

    comments on a blog
    a blog that isn’t really
    seems like it’s silly

  1022. wiserbud Says:

    okay, someone needs to teach KC how to use he spam blocker. I mean, I got nothing against funny spam, but BaGD is really dull and repetitive and dull and dull.

  1023. eddiebear Says:

    ^yeah, why is it this site hasn’t had any viagra spam, yet I have to delete about 10 a day?

  1024. wiserbud Says:

    guess we’re just letting this place go all to hell in a handbasket, ain’t we?

    Seriously, BaGD is just dull and repetitive and boring and dull and dull, but that Herbal Viagra spam links to a long-abandoned, dead and (quite honestly) incredibly offensive, yet amazingly inane site?

    I mean, come one, KC! What’s up with that shit?

  1025. pjmomma Says:

    What I don’t get about BaGD’s spam is that she so desperately wants us to check out her blog, but there’s no linky love? WTF?

  1026. pjmomma Says:

    Curse you!! Where’s your link?

  1027. wiserbud Says:

    I’m really beginning to hate BaDG. I mean really, really hate her. With the white-hot passionate hatred that I usually reserve for Rosetta on the extremely rare occasions when s/he actually writes something humorous.

  1028. daveintexas Says:

    I gave KC some pointers on dealin with spamgirl.

  1029. daveintexas Says:

    which apparently she has read and acted upon.

    hope it wasn’t your mom KC

  1030. wiserbud Says:

    well, that kinda makes a lot of the most recent comments seem pretty stupid now, don’t it?

  1031. daveintexas Says:

    she was givin ya the love wb.

    bask in it.

  1032. daveintexas Says:

    I think that crazy chick digs you wb.

  1033. kevlarchick Says:

    I did it for you wiser. I must be crazy.

  1034. wiserbud Says:

    wow, I can really feel the love.

    It feels like…….the warm, comfortable flames of hell.

  1035. Dave in Texas Says:

    I sure could go for a piece of pie right now. Maybe coconut creme… no, wait! Key Lime!!

  1036. pjmomma Says:

    It feels like…….the warm, comfortable flames of hell.

    Aw, that’s how my dh describes my love for him.

  1037. Lipstick Says:

    How is everybody this fine day?

  1038. cranky Says:

    OT: can the Rockies win a game? I hope so because my youngest sister and her husband just got tickets to Sunday’s game. Plus sweeps just suck.

  1039. geoff Says:

    OT: can the Rockies win a game?

    Awwwwww…..shaddup, wilya?

  1040. kevlarchick Says:

    I heard today that there was another sighting of Bigfoot in the Pennsylvania woods. The Bigfoot Society says it’s REALLY a sasquatch. Bigfoot is real.

  1041. Dave in Texas Says:

    Bigfoot is real, and pretty good with a .38

  1042. lauraw Says:

    Makes a mess under the rhododendrons, tho.

    They sell Sasquatch repellent?

  1043. pjmomma Says:

    I keep hearin’ you’re concerned about my happiness
    But all that thought you’re givin’ me is conscience I guess
    If I was walkin’ in your shoes, I wouldn’t worry none
    While you ‘n’ your friends are worried about me I’m havin’ lots of fun

    Countin’ flowers on the wall
    That don’t bother me at all
    Playin’ solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one
    Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo
    Now don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do

    Last night I dressed in tails, pretended I was on the town
    As long as I can dream it’s hard to slow this swinger down
    So please don’t give a thought to me, I’m really doin’ fine
    You can always find me here, I’m havin’ quite a time

    Countin’ flowers on the wall
    That don’t bother me at all
    Playin’ solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one
    Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo
    Now don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do

    It’s good to see you, I must go, I know I look a fright
    Anyway my eyes are not accustomed to this light
    And my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete
    So I must go back to my room and make my day complete

    Countin’ flowers on the wall
    That don’t bother me at all
    Playin’ solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one
    Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo
    Now don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do

    Don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do

  1044. Barry in CO Says:

    grasshopper walks into a bar
    bartender says ‘we have a drink named after you’
    grasshopper says ‘you have a drink named larry?’

  1045. Barry in CO Says:

    skeleton walks into a bar
    says ‘gimme a pitcher of beer, and a mop’

  1046. Barry in CO Says:

    horse walks into a bar
    bartender says ‘why the long face?’

  1047. lauraw Says:

    *Draws large frozen mackerel from freezer*

  1048. Lipstick Says:

    Bigfoot in Pennsylvania?

    Hmmm, I was born in PA. And my brother still lives there and wears a size 14 shoe.

    Haven’t heard from him lately, he’s been out hunting…

  1049. cranky Says:

    Bigfoot in Pennsylvania? Probably camping out in an abandoned mine shaft. Lord knows we had enough of them. You start finding dead hobos near the train tracks you know it is either Sasquatch or else Ace slipped his handcuffs and got loose.

    Lipstick, where in PA are you from? I grew up right outside Valley Forge National Park.

  1050. nicedeb Says:

    Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

  1051. forged rite Says:

    Because it wanted to get to the bottom.

  1052. geoff Says:

    …because it’s too hard to roll up?

  1053. daveintexas Says:

    I leave for a couple of weeks and it becomes open mic night.

  1054. PattyAnn Says:

    Geoff, just one chart would prove your theory.

  1055. Lipstick Says:

    Cranky, I’m from near Johnstown, about 70 miles east of Pittsburgh.

    It’s snowing there now. That’s why I left.

  1056. daveintexas Says:

    is that where the big flood was?

  1057. Michael Says:

    I was born it Pittsburgh. The whole family on my father’s side hails from upstate New York and eastern Pennsylvania.

  1058. cranky Says:

    Johnstown was the big flood. Lipstick mentioned that Jimmy Stewart was born there. It is a pretty area of the state. Michael what part of eastern Pennsylvania? My great-grandfather and grandfather were born in the Scranton area, coal country. I hunted deer in the Jim Thorpe area a few times and I remember some damn steep hills.

  1059. daveintexas Says:

    Did that with nuthin but memory.

    That’s what I did all right.

  1060. Lipstick Says:

    The big flood was 1889, then there was one in 1936, then one in 1977 (which I remember).

    Scranton — anthracite country.

    I’m still sore from standing 3 hours at the stupid buffet.

  1061. kevlarchick Says:

    That buffet sounds like a nightmare Lips. Thanksgiving or no. You won’t do it again next year will you? Rustle up some home cookin next year.

  1062. mesablue Says:

    mesablue

    mesablue

  1063. Lipstick Says:

    The buffet was a bad experience and we will NOT do it again on a holiday. We still shudder thinking about the wait.

    The Rio buffet is a good one, but there were just too many people there.

    Well, live and learn!

    How’re you doing KC?

  1064. cranky Says:

    Hey, how ’bout them BCS rankings? Missouri and West Virginia really came through and showed what a flawed system the BCS is and why a playoff system is needed.

  1065. daveintexas Says:

    daveintexas

    daveintexas

    daveinfrickinmuthafuckinTexas

  1066. kevlarchick Says:

    Are you guys trying to RAP? I don’t think so. You’re too old and too white.

    cranky, what about that LSU game? Boy howdy, those boys earned it. Too bad they will be pummeled by Ohio State.

    Lipstick, I am well enough, trying to shake off a cold. I did some Christmas decorating over the weekend. Mostly my daughter did. Had the music going and the lights twinkling, baked some cookies.

    I haven’t had a drink in weeks. I need to get well.

  1067. daveintexas Says:

    white boy, white boy rap (hoofa-heefa-hoofa heefa)
    white boy, white boy rap

    yo

  1068. cranky Says:

    ^ DiT

    word, bro man. Mad props to my peep in Texazzzzzz.

    KC, Eric Ainge threw that last pass like his name as A.J. Feeley.

  1069. Dave in Texas Says:

    real talk

  1070. wiserbud Says:

    This site is the fantastic! I am really appreciating the witty banter of your commentators, plus the smart way you have with the designing. Thankyou and I hope you will be to visit my site someday as well soon.

  1071. wiserbud Says:

    did a little housecleaning, KC?

  1072. Dave in Texas Says:

    I detect a missing comment…

  1073. kevlarchick Says:

    I cleaned out that spam. It was disturbing the vibe around here. Word.

    Saturday is Cookie Baking Day. Any suggestions?

  1074. Alek (askiba) Says:

    Don’t bake cookies.

    Bake a cake, because the cake is a lie.

  1075. wiserbud Says:

    wait, there’s a vibe around here?

    Huh, who knew?

    I thought this was just a place where you could stop by with random thoughts that really didn’t fit anywhere else.

    Like how much I hate working during a snowstorm. It just doesn’t feel right to me somehow.

  1076. wiserbud Says:

    cookies? You can never go wrong with M&M cookies.

  1077. Dave in Texas Says:

    Suggestions? Yes,

    Remember your pal Dave in Texas!

  1078. cranky Says:

    Merry Christmas fellow morons!

  1079. wiserbud Says:

    Ya know what really sucks? Since we have already surpassed 1000 comments here, I now have nothing to do on New Years Eve.

  1080. lauraw Says:

    Gazebo is a strange word. Where did this word come from? It isn’t the right sound for what it describes.

    Ga zeee bo

    Sounds like some kind of African wildlife.

    “A small group of gazebo graze in the underbrush, unaware that they are being watched by a fearsome predator…”

  1081. lauraw Says:

    Wow, that timestamp makes no kind of sense. It’s still the 23rd for 2 more hours here.

  1082. Dave in Texas Says:

    Ungawa

  1083. cranky Says:

    ^ Dave, I’m GLAR.

  1084. Lewis Says:

    Dude, what happened to my post from a couple hours ago?

    I ain’t no spammer, i’s just a moron.

  1085. The Comish (sic) Says:

    Don’t bake cookies.

    Bake a cake, because the cake is a lie.

    Now that’s funny.

  1086. kevlarchick Says:

    New Year’s Resolutions, anyone?

  1087. eddiebear Says:

    My wife is making a Trifle for a party we have tomorrow. It is a chocolate cake in a bowl, covered with Heath Bars, Whipped Cream and more chocolate and whipped cream.

    Good thing I am not diabetic.

  1088. eddiebear Says:

    Resolutions?
    Smoke more cigars, drink more scotch and less beer, eat more sushi and watch more pr0n

  1089. Dave in Texas Says:

    Not really a New Year’s thing per se, just a “post-holiday eating”decision.

    Me and carbs are gonna part ways for a while again. It’s time.

    also I’m gonna try to be funny every now and then.

  1090. kevlarchick Says:

    I’m going to try to think that Dave is funny now and then.

  1091. daveintexas Says:

    it won’t be easy. this writer’s strike is kicking my ass.

  1092. pajama momma Says:

    In winter in the woods alone
    Against the trees I go
    I mark a maple for my own
    And lay the maple low

    At four o’clock
    I shoulder axe
    And in the afterglow
    I link a line of shadowy tracks
    Across the tinted snow

    I see for nature no defeat
    In one tree’s overthrow
    Or for myself
    In my retreat
    For yet another blow

  1093. Dave in Texas Says:

    uhm…

    There once was a man from Nantucket…

  1094. kevlarchick Says:

    Dave, you have miles to go before you sleep. Miles to go before you sleep.

  1095. daveintexas Says:

    the line in that poem that always threw me off was “my little horse must think it queer”.

  1096. geoff Says:

    “my little horse must think it queer”.

    …that I cavort so gaily near his rear.

  1097. cranky Says:

    All right guys, who else thinks Hillary is hot?

  1098. Dave in Texas Says:

    you mean upset?

  1099. cranky Says:

    No, as in knocking boots hot.

  1100. Dave in Texas Says:

    HA HA!! 1100, bitches!

    cranky, 16 years ago, yeah, a little. Now, not so much.

  1101. wiserbud Says:

    HA HA!! 1100, bitches!

    I still find it hilarious that this place exists for no other reason than to hit commenting milestones.

  1102. pajama momma Says:

    Good Lord cranky! What’s the matter with you?

  1103. cranky Says:

    I was talking about her. Who’d you think I was talking about?

  1104. daveintexas Says:

    she does nothing for me either.

  1105. cranky Says:

    At least she doesn’t have cankles and cackle like a crow.

  1106. wiserbud Says:

    Geez, cranky, couldn’t you come up with another Hillary? How about Hillary Duff? Anybody!!

    Swank is a skank.

  1107. PattyAnn Says:

    mesa blue
    mesa blue
    cranky
    cranky
    kevlar chick
    kevlar chick

  1108. daveintexas Says:

    I give that haiku a 3 outta 5. You lose two points for loose shit.

  1109. Bradley Says:

    Cranky, cows don’t cackle……………………

  1110. kevlarchick Says:

    Wow that pic of Hilary Swank is…sheer. Impressive. I just saw her in a movie and she was okay.

    Um, Dave, that was NOT a haiku that Patty Ann did. It looks like some sort of cheer she learned in high school when she was captain of the squad.

  1111. wiserbud Says:

    nah, PA was just drunk.

  1112. Dave in Texas Says:

    If you don’t want me to judge the contest, fine.

    It isn’t as though I get paid for this you know.

  1113. nicedeb Says:

    That Dave In Texas

    Has an awesome swimming pool

    Thinks he’s the shiznit.

  1114. Dave in Texas Says:

    you win

  1115. geoff Says:

    A DinTX haiku thread? Sounds very erudite.

    Chili made with catsup
    Burritos with potatoes
    Dave in Texas weeps

  1116. kevlarchick Says:

    I fucking hate haikus
    They are not pretty or cool
    Stupid ass meter

    NO HAIKU ON THIS BLOG, BITCHES!

  1117. nicedeb Says:

    Oh…fine!

  1118. nicedeb Says:

    This is not a haiku

    I messed it up on purpose

    Loose shit! loose shit! shit!

  1119. daveintexas Says:

    kevlarchick has banned
    beautiful poetry
    must respect her wish

  1120. Lipstick Says:

    Loose shit. “Beautiful poetry” has only 6 syllables.

  1121. Dave in Texas Says:

    Not if you say it like a Texan – bee-yoo-tee-ful

  1122. kevlarchick Says:

    Lipstick, please don’t talk like a Texan. One is enough.

  1123. Dave in Texas Says:

    don’t be hatin now

  1124. Lipstick Says:

    Well, if you’re the president, Dave, I suppose you can say things whatever way you want.

    As long as your buddies get the spoils.

  1125. Dave in Texas Says:

    sheeeeee-it!!! yeeehaaa!

  1126. daveintexas Says:

    dude

  1127. Former Lurker Says:

    I just found this blog. This is great. Minimalism at it’s very best. I like it.

  1128. Wickedpinto Says:

    Time for a wick-e-lanche!

  1129. mesablue Says:

    Mmm, chili.

  1130. daveintexas Says:

    hey!

    anything happen while I was gone?

  1131. wiserbud Says:

    Giants won the Super Bowl.

    It was awesome.

  1132. Tom Brady Says:

    Giants got lucky.

  1133. daveintexas Says:

    I got to meet Kevlarchick on Superbowl Sunday.

    Envy me.

    I would. If I weren’t me.

  1134. kevlarchick Says:

    The Super Bowl was kind of exciting. I’m glad the Giants won.

    It’s nice when the predicted loser wins! Right Dave? Wiser? Mesa?

  1135. mesablue Says:

    I guess.

    But, PJmomma and Sohos welched on their bet so the payoff wasn’t that great.

  1136. daveintexas Says:

    >>It’s nice when the predicted loser wins!

    Yeah, seeing an underdog overcome the odds, I agree with that (unless the hated underdog beats the Cowboys. Then they’re scum). If I recall correctly, 5 teams have made it to the show as a wild card, and 4 of them won, including Denver, which is pretty remarkable. The Giants did everything they had to, ass kicking defense and making the big plays on offense.

  1137. wiserbud Says:

    But, PJmomma and Sohos welched on their bet so the payoff wasn’t that great.

    They didn’t welch. Mr. Wonderful here let them off the hook. And if you really think you were seeing them topless anyway, you’re seriously insane.

    It’s nice when the predicted loser wins!

    Hey, that was a part of my wedding vows!

  1138. kevlarchick Says:

    I am sick of winter. Officially.

  1139. Former Lurker Says:

    Don’t get too sick of winter. Global cooling is settling in…

    Temperature Monitors Report Widescale Global Cooling

  1140. Dave in Texas Says:

    I’m starting to think Punxatawny Phil really knows.

  1141. cranky Says:

    Snowed in Alabama yesterday. That global warming thing must be real, huh?

  1142. doubleplusundead Says:

    Wow, I thought this thing was long abandoned, shows what I know. In any case, any morons who want on my crapblogroll or have something for my daily Links From Around the Moronosphere feel free to drop by.

  1143. kevlarchick Says:

    I had corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick’s Day. Aren’t you glad you’re online and not right next to me?

    I wuvs youse guys.

  1144. kevlarchick Says:

    I need to pick up the commenting pace around here. Winter doldrums are bringing me down.

  1145. Tushar D Says:

    It is quiet in here.

  1146. wiserbud Says:

    too quiet…..

  1147. Dave in Texas Says:

    BOOGER!!!

  1148. kevlarchick Says:

    Time for me to start tilling. Or rather someone else in my house to start tilling while I drink a beer, smoke a cigarette, and watch.

  1149. nicedeb Says:

    Yep, I was thinking the same thing.

    I did a little raking, today. But we’re going to have to hire someone to till my garden so I can get my peas planted.

  1150. cranky Says:

    Whoa! Slow down. That’s like four comments in one day.

  1151. wiserbud Says:

    I’m gonna have to hire someone to do the smoking for me.

    Hey, KC! Want to make a few extra bucks?

  1152. kevlarchick Says:

    No way wiser. I’m down to about 4-5 smokes a day.

    ….how much $$ are you talking about?….

  1153. captkidney Says:

    Are kevlarchich and alexthechick related?

  1154. captkidney Says:

    My mistake, now that i see the spelling of the names side by side it’s obvious they are not.
    Curse my fat fingers!

  1155. wiserbud Says:

    No way wiser. I’m down to about 4-5 smokes a day.

    Oh, be serious, my dear. I’m figurin’ that you are smokin’ all the live-long day!

  1156. kevlarchick Says:

    No I am not related to alexthechick as far as I know.

    Wiser I am serious. I’ve cut way back. I want to quit the nasty things.

  1157. wiserbud Says:

    Okay, I was actually complimenting you for being hot, but seriously, that’s excellent, KC. Trust me, I know how difficult that can be.

    But it can be done. And you will feel great afterwards. It’s tough going to start, but it really does get easier. Especially if you don’t want to smoke anymore.

    Good luck! And remember, we’re all behind you. (heeeeeeeeeey, nice view from here….)

  1158. daveintexas Says:

    Yeah, she is smokin.

    And I ain’t talkin bout no Marlboro lites neither.

  1159. Barry in CO Says:

    Nice Deb said I had to ‘tag’ five blogs for this meme exercise. I regret to inform you that your blog was one of five I chose at random. If you do not want to participate let me know. Thanks!

    Details here:

    http://onehorse.wordpress.com/2008/04/10/the-six-word-memoir-meme/

  1160. kevlarchick Says:

    ohh…you were “complimenting” me. Thank you. And I don’t smoke Marlboros.

  1161. wickedpinto Says:

    It’s very quiet, so quiet I’m scared.

    I will assume the fetal as soon as one of you big tittied broads, are willing to nurse me into silence.

    *crosses fingers*

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

  1162. Dave in Texas Says:

    let me know if that works.

    I’ll try anything that gets results.

  1163. cranky Says:

    Nice blog. Useful site.

  1164. Tushar Says:

    Hoping for Change? Vote for Obama – savior of the hobos.

  1165. lauraw Says:

    bwee bwee bwee bwee bweeeeeee

    bweebweebweebweebweeeeeeeeeeeeee

  1166. Michael Says:

    ^
    Yeah, Laura puts her best comments here, and I’m supposed to be OK with that. She puts up crap at IB, she takes me for granted, and I’m supposed to be OK with that.

  1167. Former Lurker Says:

    kevlarchick – if you’re seriously trying to quit smoking, I highly recommend Chantix. I’ve been smoking for 37 years, and this is the only stuff that worked for me. You have to get a doctor’s prescription, though, and it’s not cheap if your insurance doesn’t cover it.

  1168. lauraw Says:

    Sorry Michael.

    I shall post some gibberish upon IB forthwith.

    Or tomorrow.

    Or whenever.

    Look; eventually it’s all gibberish, isn’t it? What is all this going to matter a few months from now?

    I checked out all the posts I wrote at Ace’s over the years- more than five hundred, if you can believe it- and I don’t remember posting a whole bunch of them.

    I laughed like I was a total stranger reading some of that shit for the first time.

    Crazy.

  1169. Michael Says:

    Look; eventually it’s all gibberish, isn’t it?

    No kidding. I currently have 1,116 posts up at IB (and I put up some more crap at AOSHQ back in the day). It cracks me up to skim back through that stuff. There are a few posts I’m actually proud of, but mostly it’s just goofin’.

    My first post ever was judging the Dick Cheney contest at AOSHQ. I emailed it to Ace. I’m proud of that one. It was a lot of work.

  1170. Michael Says:

    ^
    If memory serves, Laura, you were the one who roped me into that chore, which cost me an entire weekend.

  1171. lauraw Says:

    Your memory does not serve, sir.

    I stepped away and when I came back you were proposing that I judge the thread. I did not respond to this request, and you did not stop making your helpful suggestions, Mr. Helpful McWorkGiver.

    So Ace conferred the honor upon you, since you were so hot about making it a contest and all.

    And then I laughed at you. And when I checked the thread the next day, I laughed even harder.

    Good times…

  1172. Tushar Says:

    Michael, there was a time when I was a regular visitor to NRO corner, and did not know about AoS. Then, Jonah made the mistake of linking to the Dick Cheney post. Corner lost a serious reader, and AoS gained one more moron. Now, I spend most of my online time at AoS, and rarely visit the corner.

  1173. Dave in Texas Says:

    I can’t remember what first got me readin AoS. I’m sure it was a link from somewhere. I started somewhere around the Mr. Paul Anka days, slowed down for a bit and then came back. I was a commentin foo.

  1174. geoff Says:

    I started reading AoSHQ around that time,also, but didn’t start commenting for a couple of years. After a couple of years of insane commenting, I now only comment a few times a week, if that.

    Those were the days, though.

  1175. kevlarchick Says:

    I found Ace thru Michelle Malkin. I lurked for a year or so and watched all you fools.

  1176. Lipstick Says:

    Hi KC! Any more trips to Vegas coming up?

    Next time you have to stay an extra day and we can hang by the pool.

    My college roommate will be here next week and I’m renting a cabana at the Venetian for us. It comes complete with A/C, plasma TV, mister, fruit, drinks and a CABANA BOY!!!

  1177. Dave in Texas Says:

    *raised hand*

    May I volunteer for this position ladies?

    I make a yummy Caipirinha.

  1178. Tushar Says:

    >>It comes complete with A/C, plasma TV, mister, fruit, drinks and a CABANA BOY!!!

    Mister? What is that? A temporary husband?

  1179. kevlarchick Says:

    Holy shite girl! I can’t make it now. Drink several for me and stare openly at the cabana boy. If he’s an asshole, ignore him and do not tip.

  1180. daveintexas Says:

    you can’t make it?

    darn. I was counting on earning a tip and not being ignored.

    *frown

  1181. Michael Says:

    If you really need a first-class cabana boy, I’ll send Julio. Cathy says he makes the best mojito.

  1182. Lipstick Says:

    Won’t you need him for the new Casa de Michael Pool and Spa?

  1183. pajama momma Says:

    i’m in pain need help

  1184. Dave in Texas Says:

    you have better drugs than me.

    take some

  1185. PattyAnn Says:

    Do not ever click on a link by Caliban.
    Take heed.

  1186. cranky Says:

    Somebody needs to do something about these cobwebs.

  1187. Lipstick Says:

    Shoo! Shoo!

  1188. Dave in Texas Says:

    where’d everbody go?

  1189. Tushar Says:

    >>where’d everbody go?

    We are right here, watching you.

  1190. Michael Says:

    The IB All-Knowing Dashboard™ is watching all the time.

  1191. Michael Says:

    Just keep the damn mini-blinds open!

  1192. kevlarchick Says:

    How are the babies, Tushar? Has Dave gotten you a job yet?

  1193. Dave in Texas Says:

    okaaay, let’s get nekkid and smear caramel on our chests.

    who’s with meeeee?!

  1194. kevlarchick Says:

    Can’t do it Dave. That caramel on my chest hair….ouch!

  1195. Dave in Texas Says:

    heh. Didn’t think of that.

  1196. cranky Says:

    I’m not at all into the setting of milestones but I will note for the record that I am comment number 1,196.

    Hey! Does anybody likely honey-coated pecans? ‘Cause I do and I’m eating most of the bag all by myself. So there. Ha ha!

  1197. cranky Says:

    Now serving number 1,197.

    C’mon people pick up your share of the weight!

  1198. Dave in Texas Says:

    Who will be the 1200th commenter?

  1199. Dave in Texas Says:

    I’m not sure, but I think

  1200. Dave in Texas Says:

    …me

  1201. cranky Says:

    Hey, I’m number 1,200! Yay for me!

    Wait? What?

    Crap. That is just craptastic.

  1202. daveintexas Says:

    If ya ain’t cheatin, ya ain’t tryin.

  1203. cranky Says:

    Hey Dave, how’s that Pac-Mac character going to work out for the Cowboys?

  1204. daveintexas Says:

    Don’t know dude, he’s a head case and that’s for sure.

    TO sure seemed to settle down. We’ll see.

  1205. cranky Says:

    The thing about TO, and I loved when he played with the Eagles in the Super Bowl with that busted up leg just showed how much guts he had, is that I think he really just wants to be liked. All that talent but a bit immature. He is very likable person. Pac-Man you gotta wonder if his team photo isn’t going to be a mug shot.

    As an Eagles fan I hate saying it, but the Cowboys are going to be a very good team for a long time.

  1206. Dave in Texas Says:

    Never pet a burning dog.

  1207. lauraw Says:

    ‘sup

  1208. Wickedpinto Says:

    I love how you guys are keeping my dream alive.

  1209. Wickedpinto Says: